Seating Chart - How to formally address children, etc.

erictowers

Hi,I'm new to this message board.  I didn't see my question answered already, but if it has been I apologize.We are having a relatively small reception (under 50), so we decided to display a seating chart with the guests' names next to the tables.  We had wanted to address the guests formally (e.g. Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc.), but I've run into some problems about how to address my younger unmarried cousins.Boys: Some sources say that boys under around the age of 13 should be addressed as "master" and other sources seem to say that no title is needed.  "Master" seems a bit outdated would look strange next to the abbreviated titles, since to my knowledge "master" has no abbriviation.  Since only a handful of my guests would fall into this category anyway, I wanted to know if it would be acceptiable to refer to them as "Mr."  I think my youngest male guest is 10, and he might wonder why his counsins who are only a few years older are addressed as "Mr." while he is not.Girls/Young Women: I had been under the impression that unmarried women were correctly addressed as "Miss."  However, apparently my thinking is really old fashioned.  One source said that in contemporary usage women 18 and older have a choice of "Miss" or "Ms." depending on their personal preference.  If that preference isn't known, I should go with "Ms." which is safer.  (I had thought the rule was that if I didn't know, I should use "Ms." but that if I did know, I could use "Miss.")  If I follow this rule, that I have to confirm everyone's age (which I don't remember since I've been out of the country for several years and am significantly elder than many of my cousins).  And it's possible that two siblings of slightly different age will have different titles.  Now I'm wondering if I should just refer to all the unmarried women "Ms." regardless of age and save myself a lot of trouble.This all seems unbelievably tedious to me.  Can someone please help me with the etiquette?  I'm very close to giving up formal titles all together for the seating chart.Thank you in advance!

jessiegirl_98

I would stick to: Mr. (for all men, unless they are a Dr.) Mrs. (for all married or widowed women) Dr. (for all Dr.'s) Ms. (for all divoriced/unmarried regardless of age) Just keep it simple. Someone else may have other advice but as a guest, this is what I would expect to see.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

If you want the proper etiquette answer, then you need to use Master and Miss. You should also use Miss for single women. Use Ms. for divorced women or women who have married and kept their maiden name. Mrs. (obviously) for married or widowed women. Master for boys under the age of 13. Mr. after that. If you're aksing if it's okay for you to not do those things...there's no real answer on that. After you stop following etiquette, it's not like things are set in stone. I think it would sound okay if you did what you said. People (especially the younger ones) probably will just glance at the seating chart and forget all about it once they're sitting down.

erictowers

Thank you both for your relplies.  I think I might keep it simple.  I don't think anyone will be offended, which is the most important thing.

tlv204

I think it also depends on the formality of your wedding. I've heard that a lot of the time boys get a kick out of being called "master."   I don't think it's really  necessary to use titles for children unless your wedding is really formal, but it could be fun I think.  And yeah I'd stick with Ms.  if you're unsure.  I doubt Ms. would offend anyone.

Dee1984

I'm with you on the formal titles for the place cards etc. From what I've read though, girls under 14 are Miss, no preference really, above 14 would be Ms. Boys under 14 are Master abbreviated Mstr., boy over 14 simply Mr. Hope this helps!