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Cash gifts - HELP!

[Deleted User][Deleted User]
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello!

My husband-to-be and myself are moving from California to Canada shortly after our wedding. Because of this, we aren't registering anywhere so that we don't have to transport a bunch of stuff across the border. We are in need of home items (we don't live together yet and don't already have a fully furnished apartment/home as is usually the reason for people to ask for cash gifts), but it would be best if we just recieved money to go buy these things for ourselves once we got settled in Canada. What is the best way to say this? On our wedding website on the "Registries" page I am trying to figure out a way to say it nicely. This is what I have so far:

As many of you know, Lorne and I will be moving to Toronto, Canada shortly after our wedding. Because of this, we are trying to keep the amount of things we need to move down to a minimum.

Once we get to Toronto, we will be needing lots of things to fill our new home. If you would like to give us a gift, money may be the best option.

I feel like it was going well until I got to the rather blunt end of the last sentence. Any ideas?

P.S. - I don't want to do any of those cash registry websites because I think most of the guests will be confused by them and because most charge fees (either to the couple or the guest).

Thanks! Smile
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Re: Cash gifts - HELP!

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    lizzywizlizzywiz
    First Comment
    Just don't register anywhere.  People will get the hint.  If they know you and know you are moving, they're not going to want to give you physical gifts anyway.  Don't put any registry info on your website.  It will spread by word of mouth that you would prefer cash.  Don't directly ask for money!
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    gurrlballa10gurrlballa10
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    Just don't put anything.  Outright asking for cash like that is rude.  If people ask where you're registered then you can say "oh we aren't, but we are saving up to set up house when we move to Canada".

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    OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    Have your wedding in NJ or LI... surefire way to get cash! Not kidding. No one gives gifts in this part of the country. Every wedding I have been to has been cash gifts.

    Good luck with your move.

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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    Thanks, everyone. :) I guess word of mouth is the best option. I just thought it might be necessary to to address it in some way so that people wouldn't be wondering. I guess they'll just figure it out!
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-gifts-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:19fc4fd0-44a7-4273-a0ec-9cec2c43d0e0Post:81e0a73e-bd7b-4006-83ef-97deee7145bc">Re: Cash gifts - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have your wedding in NJ or LI... surefire way to get cash! Not kidding. No one gives gifts in this part of the country. Every wedding I have been to has been cash gifts. Good luck with your move.
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    You've got to be f-ing kidding me!

    OP, don't register and for the love of all that is holy, do not put anything about wanting cash on anything regarding your wedding.  Asking for cash in any form is rude, rude, rude.  If you don't register people will get the idea that money is wanted.

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    wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Most people give gifts at the shower and cash at the wedding, so if someone offers you a shower, just turn them down gracefully and say you don't care for a shower since you aren't registering for gifts.

    If someone asks where you're registered, just say, "Oh, we haven't registered anywhere. We're moving to Canada after the wedding, so we want to minimize the amount of stuff we need to pack/ship." They'll get the hint. You can have your mother/sister/attendants answer the same way if someone asks them.
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    daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-gifts-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:19fc4fd0-44a7-4273-a0ec-9cec2c43d0e0Post:81e0a73e-bd7b-4006-83ef-97deee7145bc">Re: Cash gifts - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have your wedding in NJ or LI... surefire way to get cash! Not kidding. No one gives gifts in this part of the country. Every wedding I have been to has been cash gifts. Good luck with your move.
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    How does that help the OP?

    Anyway, I agree with PPs, just don't register (or have a very small registry for those that would like to buy a physical gift). You should probably also turn down any showers you may be offered, because most people would not give cash at a shower.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    I don't endorse asking for cash at all and do recommend at least a small registry. Owning is correct though that physical gifts are very, very rare for weddings in the Long Island area. I have a wedding with over 230 people and received 2 physical gifts.
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    ChristineNBChristineNB
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    Perhaps you could have an address listed on your website for a relative's house in Canada where people that wish to give actual gifts could mail them. 

    I got married 250 miles from home and had a very small registry on Amazon, so that further encouraged people to mail the gifts instead of bringing actual gifts
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    lahlah12bklahlah12bk member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-gifts-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:19fc4fd0-44a7-4273-a0ec-9cec2c43d0e0Post:989483b7-ccdb-4e92-a2a4-04067d0a5f2b">Re: Cash gifts - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash gifts - HELP! : You've got to be f-ing kidding me! OP, don't register and for the love of all that is holy, do not put anything about wanting cash on anything regarding your wedding.  Asking for cash in any form is rude, rude, rude.  If you don't register people will get the idea that money is wanted.
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]



    This! For the love of all that is holy! And I do think she was kidding-but she's mostly right :)
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    pkontkpkontk member
    First Comment
    PPs have given you great advice about the cash and how to ask for it.  If there is a store that ships to Canada, you could always register there if you already know the address where you'll live - that way you can start building your new home!
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    jcrmcjcrmc member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-gifts-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:19fc4fd0-44a7-4273-a0ec-9cec2c43d0e0Post:21c2796b-b904-4ebe-b862-8fe0e6789713">Re: Cash gifts - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]PPs have given you great advice about the cash and how to ask for it.  If there is a store that ships to Canada, you could always register there if you already know the address where you'll live - that way you can start building your new home!
    Posted by pkontk[/QUOTE]

    I second this exactly. Most places will ship wherever - maybe even register on amazon? There are some lovely things there!!
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-gifts-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:19fc4fd0-44a7-4273-a0ec-9cec2c43d0e0Post:712940d1-c126-488e-9a73-2fd9b39ac318">Re: Cash gifts - HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash gifts - HELP! : This! For the love of all that is holy! And I do think she was kidding-but she's mostly right :)
    Posted by lahlah12bk[/QUOTE]

    I know she probably wasn't kidding, but how the heck was that suppose to help OP who lives currently in California and then moving to Canada?  So I guess a destination wedding to NJ should be in the works.

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    brommelbrommel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I would still make a small registry, as we did.  Even though you are moving, surely there are a few items you need, or would like to have.  If the part of Canada you're moving to is colder than what your used to (especially since our SoCal summer this year has been incredibly hot), maybe a room heater or a plush blanket.  Or even suit cases, ski's or some other item that you may not have needed here in Cali, but do need in Canada.

    You can put in your tagline that you're asking for a few items to complete your move to Canada, so that way they (ideally) will get the hint that you aren't setting up your nest here.  

    Good to note though... I would find a store to register that is based in Canada though, but accepts 'foreign currency' or US credit cards, that way there is no extra fee in "int'l shipping."

    Congrats on your pending nuptials & good luck with your move!  :o)
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    KimbyKKimbyK member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I had the same issue. My wedding was in Vegas, and we live in Ohio. We already lived together and owned a house so we really didn't need anything. So, we didn't put anything on the invites. Many friends did ask us what we wanted, and we kindly put it to them that we didn't register and cash / gfit cards would be easy for us. It was a small wedding with only close friends and family - so they totally understood.
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