My fiance and I have opted to have an adults only wedding. Absolutely no children will be allowed. We have chosen to do so for several reasons. One: While we love children, they are unpredictable, and we do not want to have to deal with the added stress of a tantrum or meltdown on our wedding day. Two: It is an evening wedding with an open bar, and we do not feel that is the right environment for children. Three: Allowing children would add 30+ people to our guest list. At roughly $100 a person, we cannot afford that added expense, especially since we are paying for the entire wedding without any help from our families.
The problem we are now having is that my fiance's mother doesn't agree with it and has said she is not coming to the wedding as a result. She has also taken it upon herself to call our guests with children to tell them we don't want kids at our wedding. This is something we had planned on doing before we sent out invitations, however, she has taken it upon herself to do this without getting our consent. We now have several people who are upset that we are not having kids at the wedding.
I really need some advice on how to handle this. This is a non-negotiable issue for us, so we will not be changing our decision, but I need some pointers on how to diffuse the situation, because what we have tried so far isn't working.