Wedding Etiquette Forum

Unplugged Ceremony: How to communicate

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Re: Unplugged Ceremony: How to communicate

  • In Response to Re:Unplugged Ceremony: How to communicate:[QUOTE]
    I am not saying taking pictures at something going on in a church is inherently rude. I'm saying telling someone to "shove it" at a baptism is.

    Personally, I've witnessed a lot of baptisms and I've never seen a single person take photos at one. It's just not something done at any of the churches I have been to. So, if you were at a baptism in one of those churches, chances are good one of the church members would ask you not to. Telling an 80 year old deacon to "shove it" because you want to take photos and the beliefs of that congregation be damned is what is rude. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Clearly, the 40 other people taking pictures at the baptism were a sign that the church was okay with it. Would I have done it during a regular Sunday service? No. During special occassions for which I want a memory to keep? Absolutely. And please, I DO have enough tact and respect to not tell an elderly church member to "shove it" in so many words... but some 40something clutching her pearls because I'm taking pictures in a courteous manner? Yeah, I would have no problem telling her to mind her own business.

    And I agree with whoever posted above that I'm not about to pay 20 for a 4x6 from a professional photographer when I can print my own for less than a dollar. I like to scrapbook, so I don't necessarily need the quality of a professional photo; my own do quite nicely.

    And I also agree with whoever just stated that its also incredibly ignorant to think that focus will be 100 percent undistracted, on the couple if no photography is allowed. I don't even remember half the details of my own ceremony, let alone someone elses.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unplugged-ceremony-how-to-communicate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ae5f808-e176-4326-b62f-7b51919302efPost:28c06382-267a-4f55-b9b4-8b9f33b67ce9">Re:Unplugged Ceremony: How to communicate</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Unplugged Ceremony: How to communicate: A. A high school graduation is not in and of itself a religious ceremony, and it's a PUBLIC event, so that's apples and oranges. It's not about the venue, it's about the type of ceremony. B. I don't think it's about anyone being surprised or offended. It's simply about a preference, because again, I just don't get telling someone that because they invited you to a private event they relinquish the right to their privacy completely, regardless of their beliefs. If I invite someone over to my home for a movie, am I required to allow them to take whatever photos they want because they love me? C. I do agree that saying guests are unable to focus if they take photos is silly. However, as someone who could not actually PRAY during my own ceremony because the air was filled with the sound of 20 people using the moment of prayer to snap shots of me, I don't think saying "I would prefer not to have photos taken of me while I'm praying, taking communion, calling the quarters, etc isn't out of the realm of reason. I don't think every ceremony should be photo free. But I think the insistence that friends and family have the right to disregard someone's spiritual beliefs because they want photos is pretty audacious.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Regarding A: My HS graduation was a religious service. It was a full Mass, actually. And by that same logic, marriage ceremonies are not necessarily religious either. I have been to many weddings that didn't take place in a Church or incorporate religious aspects at all. So I guess I don't see it as apples vs. oranges. And weddings in Churches are usually public events as well. In my Church, any Church member who wants to attend a wedding (and technically ANYBODY, member or not who wants to come in during a wedding) could.

    Also, all the times I Mentioned when I take photos at a wedding were not during moments of silent prayer. Again, I think it's putting faith in people to know when it is acceptable/respectful and when it's not. To me it goes back to things like dictating dress. In my Church, it's not acceptable to wear jeans. People dress up. I would hope that my guests would have the common sense to dress nicely seeing the venue, but some did not. I still did not want to put "no jeans" on my invitations or elsewhere and offend those who were totally capable of knowing how to dress appropriately.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unplugged-ceremony-how-to-communicate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ae5f808-e176-4326-b62f-7b51919302efPost:43dc82af-0f63-438c-9395-4eb5986d1936">Re: Unplugged Ceremony: How to communicate</a>:
    [QUOTE]I went to a wedding recently where the couple asked for this. Are you having any ushers, or anyone greeting people at the door? My friends had someone handing out programs (they did not list the request on the program), and he simply said welcome, the bride and groom have asked that guests not take pictures during the ceremony, and that they will be happy to share the professional pictures on their wedding web site after the wedding. I didn't think anything of it, I took plenty of pictures at the reception.
    Posted by stephie25[/QUOTE]

    To me, this seems like "buy the professional photos, so WE can end up getting more free stuff from our photographer" as that is very true for many photography companies..  THAT would bug me that I am being forced to pay for pics I could have taken for free.

    I just don't understand why "no pictures". to me, I would feel extremely LOVED if I saw people taking my picture.because it means I am important enough to them for them to want to take my photo to remember my wedding day.....If nobody wants to take pictures, they probably don't care that much..Isn't that worse?!?

    I say, feel honored that you have friends and family who love you enoguh to care to even WANT to take your picture...Some people on earth are lonely and have nobody in their lives. They would die to have someone care enough to want to snap their picture...
  • There's a great how-to article about it over at Offbeat Bride:

    http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding-templates
  • Thanks SOO much to the 6 posters who READ my original question and answered what I asked: how to ask this to those who agree is it possible to ask politely. I really appreciate your advice and experiences.

    Thanks also to the other 30 some odd who apparently didn't read it, but instead expressed their opinions about how rude, inappropriate, ridiculous, unreasonable, condescending, etc etc, my request is. I've read your opinions before and I read them again now, and I do understand them! I just disagree.

    Just to reiterate what wasn't read in my original post: this decision has nothing to do with pictures. Neither having them with no screens NOR having them fast or variety, or anything else photo related because the ceremony is not about pictures. And if someone thought, as many posters her do, that the ceremony is boring, that focus is not necessary, that is is self-centered to want guests to focus exclusively on what is happening instead of taking pictures of what what is happening (how is that any less "all about me"??)  that you don't know "what" they're supposed to be focusing on, well, we have different priorities in our wedding planning. The clear message for me is that the ceremony is NOT about what it looks like. It's not about how many pictures I can have or they can have. It's not about screens or capturing the moment. It's about what is being said and the sacredness of what is happening in that moment. That's why I asked what I did, and thanks so much to those who answered it!

    Martita
  • edited October 2012
    Here are some polite sign ideas you can have:

    However it doesn't guarantee anyone will, but you won't notice. If it's the flash that bothers you, you can politely request that flash be turned off. 

    Here's a great article about unplugging:
  • In Response to Re:Unplugged Ceremony: How to communicate:[QUOTE]Thanks SOO much to the 6 posters who READ my original question and answered what I asked: how to ask this to those who agree is it possible to ask politely. I really appreciate your advice and experiences.Thanks also to the other 30 some odd who apparently didn't read it, butnbsp;instead expressed their opinions about how rude, inappropriate, ridiculous, unreasonable, condescending, etc etc, my request is. I've read your opinions before and I read them again now, and I do understand them! I just disagree. Just to reiterate what wasn't read in my original post: this decision has nothing to do with pictures. Neither having them with no screens NOR having them fast or variety, or anything else photo related because the ceremony is not about pictures. And if someone thought, as many posters her do, that the ceremony is boring, that focus is not necessary, that is is selfcentered to want guests to focus exclusively on what is happening instead of taking pictures of what what is happening how is that any less "all about me"??nbsp; that you don't know "what" they're supposed to be focusing on, well, we have different priorities in our wedding planning. The clear message for me is that the ceremony is NOT about what it looks like. It's not about how many pictures I cannbsp;have or they can have. It's not about screens or capturing the moment.nbsp;It's about what is being said and the sacredness of what is happening in that moment. That's why I asked what I did, and thanks so much to those who answered it!Martita Posted by martha783[/QUOTE]

    See, the beauty of a message board is that you don't get to dictate the responses. You know how people feel about what you're asking, but asked anyway. People aren't going to give you "polite ways" to be rude, sorry. That doesn't make us all illiterate idiots, just because you didn't like the responses you got. And I believe YOU also missed the point: if you think telling people "no photos" will focus their attention one hundred percent SOLELY on you, you're delusional.
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