Invite to Reception and Not Dinner?

dehaanpc

Hi - Our budget is limiting the invitation list.  

What's the etiquette on inviting some guests (would be mostly co-workers) to the reception only and not the dinner? 

saisongbird

There is no etiquette on it because it's rude.  It's really tacky - you're telling the guests you don't invite to dinner that they're good enough to buy you a gift and to dance but they're not good enough to be fed.

Don't do a tiered reception.  Plan a reception you can afford and feed EVERYONE you invite.

ExpatPumpkin

The etiquette is don't do it   Only invite the number of people you can afford to fully host. 

twilight.rose

PPs are 100% correct. Tiered invites are incredibly tacky and gift-grabby.

If you want these people to be formally informed of your nuptials, send wedding announcements the day of/day after the wedding. Do not, however, invite them to only part of the event.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

The dinner is part of the reception. People go to the ceremony, then the reception, where they eat either a meal or some apps (at a non-meal time) or cake. Everyone goes to everything.

iamjoesgurl

I agree with Mery - the dinner is part of the reception.  Either you invite your guests to a reception after the ceremony or you don't invite them at all.

[Deleted User]

Don't do it. What are you going to have them do - leave before dinner is served? Rude

PharmacyBride

People will understand they can't be invited.

Tiered receptions are far worse than a smaller guest list.  It is the equivalent of ranking people and then showing them where they fell on the list.  (I realize your intent to offer them something over nothing- but this is not how it will be received!)

There are ways to have a more affordable reception.  Your local board and the budget board are great places to go for these ideas.

quotequeen

This is on my list of the rudest things one can possibly do.

ARod22

"Come to our momentous wedding, and celebrate how awesome we are... but no food for you!"

Sorry to be blunt, but if you invite some people for food and others for everything but food, this is how you sound to them.

redheadfsu

Please don't do it. An invite to a wedding is an all or nothing type of thing. If you do anything like a tiered invite, you will offend them.

They will understand if you can't invite them.

gailpete

Why do people seem to get this backwards.  You don't decide what your meal and reception costs are and then figure out how many people you can invite in order to stay within your budget.

You are supposed to figure out who you want to invite, figure out your budget (what you can afford to spend) and then figure out what kind of reception you can have so that you can invite all the people on the list and stay in budget.  If that means steak and lobster and top shelf liquor, great.  If it means cake and punch in the church basement, that is great too.

The idea is having the important people with you is the highest priority, not that you have a fancy dinner, with huge flower centerpieces and a full bar.  

alexirom

I am always amazed at how many people consider this an option.  I'm sorry to be rude, but you just can't do this.  Guests are invited to everything or nothing.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-reception-not-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:302bafad-6987-4cd3-a418-d2344f7a6a51Post:6f73770e-f2b4-40bd-884d-1dfcef5ea6a5">Invite to Reception and Not Dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi - Our budget is limiting the invitation list.   What's the etiquette on inviting some guests (would be mostly co-workers) to the reception only and not the dinner? 
Posted by dehaanpc[/QUOTE]

terribly rude - don't do it

SparrowSong

This is one of those things I never heard of, or even imagined before the knot. I can't believe this is done!! So rude!

SandiJames

this is a response to all the people who are telling the OP how "rude" she is being. It's a guestion she needed an answer to and there is a way to answer without being so "blunt". I asked a similar question and was floored at the rude responses I received. Isn't the idea of having these boards so that we can ask legitimate questions in a safe environment? I for one don't want to be berated for asking something I sincerely did not know the etiquette for and did not know. I was not born Emily Post.
Just my two cents.

Mrs.B6302007

She's not being berated.  She asked what the etiquette is and people are telling her that it's rude to do that.  People are trying to help her from making a huge faux-pas and embarrassing herself in front of her guests.

[QUOTE]this is a response to all the people who are telling the OP how "rude" she is being. It's a guestion she needed an answer to and there is a way to answer without being so "blunt". I asked a similar question and was floored at the rude responses I received. Isn't the idea of having these boards so that we can ask legitimate questions in a safe environment? I for one don't want to be berated for asking something I sincerely did not know the etiquette for and did not know. I was not born Emily Post.
Just my two cents.
Posted by SandiJames [/QUOTE]

irshis20

Also, this is common sense to me. You don't have to be born Emily Post to know when something is rude or will hurt people's feelings. Wouldn't you be insulted to be told that you should come two hours into the reception, after everyone has finished their cocktail hour, dinner and cake? I sure as hell would be.