I posted this in the pre-wedding parties board but I decided to post it here too...
Ok so after having lunch with his father today FI just informed me that his paternal grandparents want to throw us a "Jack and Jill" and have a dinner/BBQ thing in their backyard a few months before our wedding for all of their friends and VERY distant family members and these guests would give us money (as said by my FFIL).
While we haven't finalized our guest list none of these distant family members or FI grandparents' friends will be invited to our wedding.
Isn't it bad etiquette to invite people to pre-wedding parties that are not invited to the actual wedding? Upon telling FI this he said that his distant family and grandparents' friends wouldn't care and probably do not even know what wedding etiquette is.
Another thing is that FI's dad said that my whole family would be invited to this party and he and FI assumed they would all come. The thing is my parents live about 6 hours from FI's family and probably only my parents would come. FI was confused that the rest of my family wouldn't be coming to the party and I explained that it is kind of far for them to come for a BBQ with people they will see/meet a few months later. His parent's have met my extend family members and my parent's have met his, so only our extended family members will meet for the first time at the wedding.
He got upset saying that his family would be traveling 6 hrs to our wedding (which is happening where my parent's currently live, where I grew up, where FI and are moving to in about a year) and was upset that my family wouldn't make the trip to his hometown for this pre-wedding party.
I was very confused by this because I am thinking that people are more likely to travel a long distance for a wedding than a pre-wedding party regardless of where the wedding is...?
I don't know, what does everyone think about this?