Thank you note dilemma

KeithZ

I am writing thank you notes for wedding gifts and I am using my guest list, and the list of gifts with the names of the guests of who gave them as reference guides. I have come across relatives (one couple) who did give a card but their names are not on our gift list. I cannot remember if they gave us a monetary gift or not. I have been mentioning specific gifts in cards I have written to every other guest, so how should I word this one? Thank you for any advice!

jessicabessica

Did you open your gifts with someone else (maybe your H)?  I think you need to try to remember if they gave you a gift or not.

krizzo17

If you deposited all the monetary gifts at once, and you wrote down how much each person gave you (aside from this couple you can't remember), just check the deposit amount with your bank. If it's the same as the sum of the gifts you've already accounted for, this couple just sent you a card. If not, it would probably be safe to assume the gift they gave you was the difference between your recorded amount and deposit amount.

Peledreamsofrain

Many banks let you access electronic copies of your deposited checks with their online banking. I know Wells Fargo does.

Kate61487

Yeah I'd do everything you can to establish if they gave you a gift or not, first. 

If you really can't nail it down (maybe kept some cash out of the deposit for honeymoon spending cash or something) then I'd send a thank you and word it to include their attendance at the wedding and the "lovely / thoughtful" card.  Thanking them for a 'generous gift' and/or naming something you're planning to buy (which is how I worded monetary gifts) will seem super awkward if they didn't give you any money.  If you thank them for the card and they DID give money they'll probably read into it that you're thanking for the money too; or they'll call to make sure you got the money, either way better than potentially thanking for a gift that wasn't given IMO.

KeithZ

Thanks for all the responses! Unfortunately, we didn't keep track of the amount of money each person gave, so we can't do the math. But I will definitely look for electronic copies of checks. And if I that doesn't work I will probably just thank them for the card. All great suggestions!