What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.

MrsJoshuaParker4

Hi Everybody!
My FI and are writing out our guest list and we're hitting a few speed bumps.

1) His Parents.
His parents were married & divorced by the time my FI was 3. His parents do not get along and don't even go to/come to mutual family gatherings. My stepdaughter ended up having two birthday parties this year (a LONG story) and his mom went to one and his dad went to the other. His Dad didn't even come to this high school graduation because his mom was there. and his mom didn't come to his college graduation because his dad was there. we have a feeling that his mom isn't going to come to the wedding now because his dad is actually the best man in the wedding. (petty, i know) any ideas on how to keep the peace? we really want both of his parents at the wedding, but they argue within 1 hour of being around each other. i kind of think that his mother may still be in her feelings about the divorce (that happened over 20 years ago, by the way).

2) my Dad's Family.
my dad's family is complicated. my dad has his parents and this his real parents. (he was taken from his real parents at age 4 and placed into foster care and adopted at age 8). my grandfather (my dad's adopted father) is actually marrying us. i actually have no idea where my real grandfather is and my real grandmother is nothing but a stone alcoholic (which is why my dad was taken from her to begin with). I don't want them there. I honestly feel like it's going to cause problems. is that wrong?
the other issue with my dad's family is my "cousins." i'm bi-racial. my mother is Puerto Rican and my father is black. as a child, they practically tormented me because of it. they picked on me about my skin complexion (i'm light skinned), about my hair (i[m naturally curly and a brunette), my eye color (it changes, i'm naturally hazel) and anything else they could pick at. i decided not to invite them to my wedding. however, i have a cousin who is my cousin on both sides (her dad and my dad were twins, her mom and my mom were twins) and i did invite her. she's more of a sister to me (she lived with us after her mom died when she was younger). and invited most of my cousins on my mom's side. i guess word of mouth went around and i started getting nasty emails, phone calls, facebook/twitter messages from the cousins on my dad's side telling me that's me being who i've "always been, thinking that i'm better than them.' i've never thought that all lol. am i wrong for not inviting them? i just prefer not to be bullied on my wedding day and i don't want the drama. it's actually embarrassing to me.
aunts and uncles is also a problem too. again, on dad's side. i actually don't like most of them. the blood aunts & uncles and the adopted ones. between both families of dad's, i have 9 uncles and 7 aunts. i only like 4 of those uncles and 2 of those aunts. would it be rude for me not invite the others? again, i feel like if i do, it'll be a problem waiting to happen. they never actually treated any of my father's children right while we were growing up. and ever after my father's death, still haven't. my father has been gone almost a year and they still don't treat us right. it's pretty sad. i personally, keep my distance. again, am i wrong for wanting to be happy on my wedding day?

3) this ridiculous guest list my mother gave me!
so, when it was all said and done, my FI had a guest list of about 325. we left room for his mother to invite 10 people, his father to invite 10 people, my mother to invite 10 people and a few people that i think my dad would have invited too. his mom gives us her list, it's fine, it only have 6 people on there. his dad gives us his list, again it's fine. his list at 4 people. i could only figure out 7 people my dad would invite. that's 17 people right there. my mother submitted her list and it have 50 people. 30 of them, i've NEVER even heard of! the 20 that I have heard of, i think i met, like once?? i'm not even so sure if i really met them, or if i made that up in my head lol. then got mad because i told her no. i'm not having people at my wedding that i don't even know and she needed to narrow it down. She told me that I was being selfish by not inviting all of her wanted guests. I'm sorry, the last time I checked, this was MY wedding. It's really not my problem she's had 3 and still can't get it right!

I'm just flat out irritated at this point in time.

OliveOilsMom

Who is paying?

StephBeanWed61502

If someone else is contributing to the wedding, they get a say in the guest list. If only you and your FI are paying, you get to set the guest list yourselves, and there's no need for it to become a group project. Finally, with all of the family stuff, the solution is simple: if you and your FI are the only ones paying, you get to invite (and not invite) whoever you want. And to heck with everyone else's opinions. Feel free to leave the rotten cousins, the alcoholic grandmother, and the 50 people your mom listed off the guest list. The only way anyone other than you and your FI gets a say in any of this is if they're contributing to the wedding, and you can always just turn down the money offered if you really don't want those people there.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

Who is paying?
Posted by OliveOilsMom

me. my father had a "Wedding Fund" set up for all of his daughters before he died. my mother was supposedly going to buy my wedding dress, but acted out and was un-invited to dress shop with me. i don't need her to buy it anyway.

artbyallie

In Response to What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

Hi Everybody! My FI and are writing out our guest list and we're hitting a few speed bumps. 1) His Parents. His parents were married & divorced by the time my FI was 3. His parents do not get along and don't even go to/come to mutual family gatherings. My stepdaughter ended up having two birthday parties this year (a LONG story) and his mom went to one and his dad went to the other. His Dad didn't even come to this high school graduation because his mom was there. and his mom didn't come to his college graduation because his dad was there. we have a feeling that his mom isn't going to come to the wedding now because his dad is actually the best man in the wedding. (petty, i know) any ideas on how to keep the peace? we really want both of his parents at the wedding, but they argue within 1 hour of being around each other. i kind of think that his mother may still be in her feelings about the divorce (that happened over 20 years ago, by the way). 

Unfortunately, you can't force them to behave like rational adults. Tell them you want them both there and if one refuses, they will be missed. Call their bluff.

2) my Dad's Family. my dad's family is complicated. my dad has his parents and this his real parents. (he was taken from his real parents at age 4 and placed into foster care and adopted at age 8). my grandfather (my dad's adopted father) is actually marrying us. i actually have no idea where my real grandfather is and my real grandmother is nothing but a stone alcoholic (which is why my dad was taken from her to begin with). I don't want them there. I honestly feel like it's going to cause problems. is that wrong? 

I'm not sure I'm seeing the problem here. Just don't invite them. Is there someone pressuring you to do so? It's not wrong at all to not invite people who are not part of your life. Frankly, it's not wrong to not invite people who are in your life. Budget/space limitations exist, after all.

the other issue with my dad's family is my "cousins." i'm bi-racial. my mother is Puerto Rican and my father is black. as a child, they practically tormented me because of it. they picked on me about my skin complexion (i'm light skinned), about my hair (i[m naturally curly and a brunette), my eye color (it changes, i'm naturally hazel) and anything else they could pick at. i decided not to invite them to my wedding. however, i have a cousin who is my cousin on both sides (her dad and my dad were twins, her mom and my mom were twins) and i did invite her. she's more of a sister to me (she lived with us after her mom died when she was younger). and invited most of my cousins on my mom's side. i guess word of mouth went around and i started getting nasty emails, phone calls, facebook/twitter messages from the cousins on my dad's side telling me that's me being who i've "always been, thinking that i'm better than them.' i've never thought that all lol. am i wrong for not inviting them? i just prefer not to be bullied on my wedding day and i don't want the drama. it's actually embarrassing to me. aunts and uncles is also a problem too. again, on dad's side. i actually don't like most of them. the blood aunts & uncles and the adopted ones. between both families of dad's, i have 9 uncles and 7 aunts. i only like 4 of those uncles and 2 of those aunts. would it be rude for me not invite the others? again, i feel like if i do, it'll be a problem waiting to happen. they never actually treated any of my father's children right while we were growing up. and ever after my father's death, still haven't. my father has been gone almost a year and they still don't treat us right. it's pretty sad. i personally, keep my distance. again, am i wrong for wanting to be happy on my wedding day? 

This one depends on your family. Some people can get away with inviting only some aunts and uncles. For others, it would cause lifelong resentment. Up to you and your judgement.

3) this ridiculous guest list my mother gave me! so, when it was all said and done, my FI had a guest list of about 325. we left room for his mother to invite 10 people, his father to invite 10 people, my mother to invite 10 people and a few people that i think my dad would have invited too. his mom gives us her list, it's fine, it only have 6 people on there. his dad gives us his list, again it's fine. his list at 4 people. i could only figure out 7 people my dad would invite. that's 17 people right there. my mother submitted her list and it have 50 people. 30 of them, i've NEVER even heard of! the 20 that I have heard of, i think i met, like once?? i'm not even so sure if i really met them, or if i made that up in my head lol. then got mad because i told her no. i'm not having people at my wedding that i don't even know and she needed to narrow it down. She told me that I was being selfish by not inviting all of her wanted guests. I'm sorry, the last time I checked, this was MY wedding. It's really not my problem she's had 3 and still can't get it right! I'm just flat out irritated at this point in time.

A. It's not just your wedding, especially once you start making a guest list. B. Judgy much? C. Who is paying? Whoever coughs up the dough has input for the guestlist. If she's not contributing a share larger than everyone else, she doesn't get more guests. If, however, she's paying the biggest chunk, she can invite whoever the heck she cares to pay for.

Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4

ETA: I see you're paying. Tell her to cut her portion of the list or you will do it for her.

AddieL73

I would not invite the cousins. I am always in the camp of not inviting people you don't have a relationship with. 

As for his parents, it sounds like it's possible mom may not come, but that's on her. They don't really have to interact at the wedding anyway. If a set of parents can't set aside their differences and be civil to one another for a few hours on their child's wedding day, that says everything about them and nothing about your groom. 

Regarding the guest list,  I would talk to her about the people you have never met. Again, I'm in the camp of not inviting people you don't have a relationship. There is no reason to invite people that have never even met the bride or groom. 

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

If someone else is contributing to the wedding, they get a say in the guest list. If only you and your FI are paying, you get to set the guest list yourselves, and there's no need for it to become a group project. Finally, with all of the family stuff, the solution is simple: if you and your FI are the only ones paying, you get to invite (and not invite) whoever you want. And to heck with everyone else's opinions. Feel free to leave the rotten cousins, the alcoholic grandmother, and the 50 people your mom listed off the guest list. The only way anyone other than you and your FI gets a say in any of this is if they're contributing to the wedding, and you can always just turn down the money offered if you really don't want those people there.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502

the only person who honestly contributed anything toward this wedding was my Daddy. and they was money he left me when he died in February. i invited the people that i think he would want there. and my grandparents (my dad's adopted parents) did give me a couple of thousand dollars towards the wedding and aren't even trying to control anything. they just requested to invited two close friends (a married couple they're really good friends with) and i said yes. just because you're giving me money, doesn't mean you're controlling MY wedding.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : ETA: I see you're paying. Tell her to cut her portion of the list or you will do it for her.
Posted by artbyallie

I think even this is giving mom too much control. I'd just cut the list. Then again, we didn't let our parents make a list for our wedding. H made his list, I made mine, and we ran them by the parents just to make sure we hadn't accidentally overlooked someone we intended to invite (i.e. I had 3 out of 4 cousins on my list because the 4th moved away 10 years ago and I accidentally forgot about him).

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : ETA: I see you're paying. Tell her to cut her portion of the list or you will do it for her.
Posted by artbyallie

she hasn't contributed anything. quite frankly, don't need her to and don't want her to at this point. call me judgy, but you'd have to know her history and understand why she pissed me 4/7 day of the week when i was younger. that's why after her and my dad divorced, i stayed right in Georgia with him when she went abck to New York. how is not my wedding when i made a guest list? i don't get it?

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : the only person who honestly contributed anything toward this wedding was my Daddy. and they was money he left me when he died in February. i invited the people that i think he would want there. and my grandparents (my dad's adopted parents) did give me a couple of thousand dollars towards the wedding and aren't even trying to control anything. they just requested to invited two close friends (a married couple they're really good friends with) and i said yes. just because you're giving me money, doesn't mean you're controlling MY wedding.
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4

When you accept someone's money to pay for a party, they become at least a partial host of the party, and it's not just "your day" anymore. Ideally, people shouldn't use their money as a weapon of control, but plenty of people do, and that's the price you risk paying when you accept someone's cash to pay for "your" day. And I'm sorry about the loss of your father.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

I would not invite the cousins. I am always in the camp of not inviting people you don't have a relationship with.  As for his parents, it sounds like it's possible mom may not come, but that's on her. They don't really have to interact at the wedding anyway. If a set of parents can't set aside their differences and be civil to one another for a few hours on their child's wedding day, that says everything about them and nothing about your groom.  Regarding the guest list,  I would talk to her about the people you have never met. Again, I'm in the camp of not inviting people you don't have a relationship. There is no reason to invite people that have never even met the bride or groom. 
Posted by AddieL73

i'm definitely not inviting the cousins. lol. she nasty emails and texts i'm getting i just keep laughing at. most of them are a few yeras older and i'm like.. really? you're 30+ and you're acting like this? his parents--we thought about tricking his mother into thinking her father isn't going to be there after all. his father doesn't have a problem being civil with his mother fo rthe day. it's his mother still in her feelings. smh. my mother's guest list i shredded last night. i told her she needs to start over and narrow it down. i was nice enough to extend her list to 15. or she's just not inviting anybody. it's pretty sad, i have to treat the matter like a child having a tantrum.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : I think even this is giving mom too much control. I'd just cut the list. Then again, we didn't let our parents make a list for our wedding. H made his list, I made mine, and we ran them by the parents just to make sure we hadn't accidentally overlooked someone we intended to invite (i.e. I had 3 out of 4 cousins on my list because the 4th moved away 10 years ago and I accidentally forgot about him).
Posted by StephBeanWed61502

i only let the parents invite people to be nice. i don't even want their friends/random long lost relatives there.

daveANDkristen

In Response to What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

Hi Everybody! My FI and are writing out our guest list and we're hitting a few speed bumps.

1) His Parents. There isn't much you can do.  If your FI is close with his parents (which it sounds like he is, at least with his dad), he will want them to put aside their petty differences and be there to support him.  They don't have to sit next to eachother, pose in pictures together, anything... you and your FI can make sure they have a comfortable distance between them.  But if FI's mom throws a tantrum and refuses to come because FI's dad will be in attendance, it will be her loss.

2) my Dad's Family. I would not feel obligated to invite your father's bio-mom if you are not close with her.  As for your cousins, it really depends.  People can change as they get older, but If your relationship with them has never been anything more than them tormenting you as a child and now they are attacking you for not inviting them to your wedding, it doesn't sound like much has changed.  I would not feel obligated to invite them.  That being said, only you can gauge how much fallout not inviting them will cause.  Some people choose to invite all cousins to avoid this drama.  I had no problem picking and choosing among my cousins, and there may have been hurt feelings (I doubt it) but no fallout.  If you do invite them, I doubt that they would taunt you or make a scene though.  They would have to be pretty awful people, not just brats, to intentionally ruin your wedding day.

3) this ridiculous guest list my mother gave me! I'm sorry if you have already addressed the who's paying question.  But, if your mom is paying she can pretty much invite whoever she wants.  If she's not, I think you're within your rights to request that she at least invite people you know.  Is the problem that she doesn't have any friends (besides the family members you are already inviting) that you do know?
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4

ETA: Spacing/bolding issues

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : When you accept someone's money to pay for a party, they become at least a partial host of the party, and it's not just "your day" anymore. Ideally, people shouldn't use their money as a weapon of control, but plenty of people do, and that's the price you risk paying when you accept someone's cash to pay for "your" day. And I'm sorry about the loss of your father.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502

craziness! like i said, my mother hasn't contributed ANYTHING but headaches lol. she swore she was buying my wedding dress (but she was under the impression she was picking it out--NOT) but decided to act crazy a few days before i got to New York to go dress shopping and was un-invited. i was glad i hadn't told her where i was going. i went with my grandmother. 

and thank you. i'm better about my father's death now.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : craziness! like i said, my mother hasn't contributed ANYTHING but headaches lol. she swore she was buying my wedding dress (but she was under the impression she was picking it out--NOT) but decided to act crazy a few days before i got to New York to go dress shopping and was un-invited. i was glad i hadn't told her where i was going. i went with my grandmother.  and thank you. i'm better about my father's death now.
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4

My post wasn't about your mother, I get that she's not paying and I agree that means she has no say. It was in response to your statement about not letting anyone control "your" day even if they're contributing. Money=say. That's how money works.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. :
Posted by daveANDkristen

my FI's parents are just a mess lol. his dad is willing to be civil. like i said, i think his mom is still in her feeling about the divorce that happened 22 years ago lol. my FI's sister suggested perhaps tricking his mom into thinking that his dad's isn't coming after all. i can put his mom at the same table with my mother & stepfather and his dad and step mom with his grandparents.

i talked to my uncle (dad's twin) and he told me don't worry about my real grandmother. he told me he didn't even invite her to his wedding because all of her drinking. the cousins are 30+ plus still acting like the 7 & 8 year olds who used to pick at me so bad when i was 5. smh. definitely not invited.

my mother hasn't contributed anything. so her little hissy fits, are dismissed at this point. the problem with her guest list is the random family members and her "friends." i don't like her friends and i don't want them there. mom did this to my sister when she got married last year and her "friends" are crazy. they got drunk and we're obnoxious at the reception. no thank you!

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : My post wasn't about your mother, I get that she's not paying and I agree that means she has no say. It was in response to your statement about not letting anyone control "your" day even if they're contributing. Money=say. That's how money works.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502

and like i said in a previous post, my grandparents gave me a couple thousand dollars and aren't trying to run the show the way she is. i understand how money talks.

sydaries

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : my FI's parents are just a mess lol. his dad is willing to be civil. like i said, i think his mom is still in her feeling about the divorce that happened 22 years ago lol. my FI's sister suggested perhaps tricking his mom into thinking that his dad's isn't coming after all. i can put his mom at the same table with my mother & stepfather and his dad and step mom with his grandparents. i talked to my uncle (dad's twin) and he told me don't worry about my real grandmother. he told me he didn't even invite her to his wedding because all of her drinking. the cousins are 30+ plus still acting like the 7 & 8 year olds who used to pick at me so bad when i was 5. smh. definitely not invited. my mother hasn't contributed anything. so her little hissy fits, are dismissed at this point. the problem with her guest list is the random family members and her "friends." i don't like her friends and i don't want them there. mom did this to my sister when she got married last year and her "friends" are crazy. they got drunk and we're obnoxious at the reception. no thank you!
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4

THIS IS BAD. Do not do anything sneaky like this. As you said, she's still emotional about it. That's ok, and if she decides not to go thats on her. Imagine what would happen if she sees him and has a spaz attack?! It will be terrible and make for a horrible day! You FMIL would have to be escorted out because she'd be a wreck (escorted by a family member or security, whover it takes) and you and FI will be thoroughly embarassed. If this woman is still emotional, don't create a time bomb with her.

thurmanpowell

I wouldn't trick FI's Mom into coming. Have your fiance sit down with her and tell her how important it is that both his parents be there and leave it up to her. It's not worth the drama.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : THIS IS BAD. Do not do anything sneaky like this. As you said, she's still emotional about it. That's ok, and if she decides not to go thats on her. Imagine what would happen if she sees him and has a spaz attack?! It will be terrible and make for a horrible day! You FMIL would have to be escorted out because she'd be a wreck (escorted by a family member or security, whover it takes) and you and FI will be thoroughly embarassed. If this woman is still emotional, don't create a time bomb with her.
Posted by sydaries

this is CRAZY. even my FI's grandmother told his mother (her daughter) get over herself, it's been over 20 years! my FI is an adult and has a child of his own! i have a problem with she can't act like an adult for a few hours on one of the most important days in her ONLY CHILD's life, but she expects him to okay with all of her crazy antics. is it too late to un-invite her to the wedding?

Burtonbaby145

Don't invite the cousins. The bullying emails they are sending about not getting invites is even more proof they should be left off the list. As for your mom, tell her she was given 10 spots for her personal guests. She can choose the 10 she wants there and it she doesn't, chose 10 out of the 50, as send them invites and call it done.

daveANDkristen

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : THIS IS BAD. Do not do anything sneaky like this. As you said, she's still emotional about it. That's ok, and if she decides not to go thats on her. Imagine what would happen if she sees him and has a spaz attack?! It will be terrible and make for a horrible day! You FMIL would have to be escorted out because she'd be a wreck (escorted by a family member or security, whover it takes) and you and FI will be thoroughly embarassed. If this woman is still emotional, don't create a time bomb with her.
Posted by sydaries

I agree with this completely.  I understand that you want to sort of force FI's mom to deal with her issues by not giving her a choice, but this has strong potential to backfire on you.  I would just have FI explain to his mom that he would like both of his parents there to witness his marriage, and assure her that she will not have to interact with her ex-H (as I said, seated far from each other, not in photos together, etc).  If FI's mom would rather miss her son's wedding, that is her (ridiculous, IMO) choice. 

StephBeanWed61502

Just invite her and tell her your FI's dad will be there, and it sounds like she'll make the decision not to come herself. Uninviting her would be unimaginably rude.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

I wouldn't trick FI's Mom into coming. Have your fiance sit down with her and tell her how important it is that both his parents be there and leave it up to her. It's not worth the drama.
Posted by thurmanpowell

is it too late for me to say i want a destination wedding and not invite any of them?

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re:What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

Don't invite the cousins. The bullying emails they are sending about not getting invites is even more proof they should be left off the list. As for your mom, tell her she was given 10 spots for her personal guests. She can choose the 10 she wants there and it she doesn't, chose 10 out of the 50, as send them invites and call it done.
Posted by Burtonbaby145

the list she gave me got shredded last night. i told her she needed to start over and narrow it down, or she doesn't get to invite anybody.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : is it too late for me to say i want a destination wedding and not invite any of them?
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4

You could cancel your original wedding and start over, and that would give you free rein to re-set the guest list.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

Just invite her and tell her your FI's dad will be there, and it sounds like she'll make the decision not to come herself. Uninviting her would be unimaginably rude.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502

her acting like and immature high school who's boyfriend from 9th grade is in her 11th english class is rude. she's gonna end up getting the same talk my mother got, grow up and act right.

thurmanpowell

Have you invited people yet? It's a little unclear since you said you're working on the guest list but later you said you invited your cousin already. If you've already invited some people you still have to invite them, but if nothing formal has been planned or sent out go ahead and have a destination wedding!

The farther away the less people you invite who will come.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : her acting like and immature high school who's boyfriend from 9th grade is in her 11th english class is rude. she's gonna end up getting the same talk my mother got, grow up and act right.
Posted by MrsJoshuaParker4

Because lecturing her like she's 14 is TOTALLY going to get her to stop acting like she's 14... SMDH. I'm getting the feeling your mothers aren't the only drama llamas in this family.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : You could cancel your original wedding and start over, and that would give you free rein to re-set the guest list.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502

i shouldn't have to do that. smh. i can already see this getting worse between my MIL acting like a baby about my FIL and my mother trying turn this into the "Tina Show." (Tina being my mother) we're all (MIL, my mother, FI and me) supposed to get together December 27 and i'm gonna end up so mad i'm gonna blow and lay down rules. at this point i honestly don't even care who's feelings get hurt.

MrsJoshuaParker4

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long.:

In Response to Re: What Do I Do? Vent/kind of long. : Because lecturing her like she's 14 is TOTALLY going to get her to stop acting like she's 14... SMDH. I'm getting the feeling your mothers aren't the only drama llamas in this family.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502

call it what you want :) i don't have time/patience for craziness and i never have. this is complete craziness to me. at this point, i don't even care if she comes. my FI wants her there.