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Etiquette

Who writes Thank You notes?

Is the bride supposed to write all thank you cards, do bride/groom each write to their own friends and family, or something else altogether?

I sort of think it doesn't matter tremendously as long as everyone gets properly thanked by someone, but I thought I'd check.

Re: Who writes Thank You notes?

  • It doesn't matter so long as they are written.

    I did most of them.  H ended up helping me in the end with the wedding ones, but I did all the shower thank yous.
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  • aragx6aragx6
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    You should write all the thank you notes for your bridal shower, but otherwise it's fine to split them in half, him to do them all or you to do them all.

    I think it makes sense for him to write the notes for his family and you yours.
    Lizzie
  • I wrote the cards to my family and friends and H wrote the cards to his family and friends. I've noticed that all the thank you cards we receive are written by the bride, however. 
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  • pkontkpkontk
    500 Comments
    member
    I'm likely doing all of them, only because my handwriting is MUCH better.  I'll make FI sign his own name and put stamps on the envelopes though.
  • I wrote all the thank you notes for my shower and for the wedding.  I knew if I left it up to H to do they would never get done (kind of like the thank you note I have been asking him to write since February).
  • I wrote most of ours, but there were a few I had Ben write.  Like his two best friends from childhood, a few family members, the groomsmen, etc.  But yeah, because I'm a control freak and wanted to get them finished, I was the one who did thebulk of them.  It doesn't matter who writes them, as long as they get done.
    panther
  • Fiance and I plan to do them together.  I will write the ones for my shower though.
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  • erolliserollis
    1000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    One night we sat down, put on a show and wrote all of our wedding thank you notes. He ended up writing to everyone he knew well and was close to. I wrote thank you notes to my family and close friends, and anyone left over from his side. 

    I wrote the thank you's to both of my bridal showers. 
  • Avion22Avion22
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited May 2012
    So far I've written all of ours. He's not good at writing stuff like that (they would all say "Thanks for the gift.  Love, B and E")  and I don't mind it.  I sign both of our names, but he reads them before I seal them up, mostly so he knows that we sent a note and remembers who sent what gift:-)    


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  • I have written all of them because FI and I aren't living together and it was just easier to do it as soon as we got the present.
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  • I have much better penmanship so I imagine I'll end up writing most (if not all) of them. FI will write the ones for his immediate family though.
    image
    Anniversary
  • Thanks everyone!

    I'll write for the shower (if the person who offered does in fact throw one, not sure of it lol), and we'll each write for our own lists.

    The FI writes an awesome ty note, actually, even though his handwriting is dismal. <3
  • I will likely be doing all of them for my wedding. FI has almost illegible handwriting and his hand cramps up much too quickly. Plus, his idea of a proper TY is "Thanks for the gift - Mr. Poke"


  • I wrote every single one of ours. For the shower (held on a Saturday), I had them in the mail on Monday. For the wedding (also held on a Saturday, followed by our HM that ended the following Sunday), I had them out by Thursday. 

    I hate not getting a TY note, and I really didn't want anyone to think I'd forgotten about them. Also, H works 60 hours a week, and I was on a break at school, so I had plenty of time.
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  • kfraskfras
    100 Comments
    member
    It's easiest to split them up. Especially with the BP. This is a big deal because I just remember my sister being in a friend's wedding (who she was friends with since high school) and the girl's husband wrote all the thank you notes for her bridesmaids. This was so weird because since they are the Bride's friends they all thought the thank yous would be from her. So I understand if my FI doesn't feel like writing them out for his extended family and parents' guests, but I will make him write something to each of his groomsmen, He chose them to stand up there with him, he can write them a note and say thank you for that. (Although I do understand that the rehearsal dinner/gifts are the thank you for being in the wedding and the TY cards for thank yous for the gifts). But still. I think there is no problem with you writing them out, but if it is one of his friends, it would be nicer if he could write it. Like for instance, an OOT guest who was his friend from college who you barely know.. it's way better for him to write and thank him for making the trip over you and vice versa for your guests.
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