Etiquette

Save the date etiquette?

I am addressing our save the dates and running into sticky situations with the names. How do I address long term couples that are not married? Do I address the card to our friend "and guest" or just the name of the friend we are inviting? Also, do I need to add "and guest" for those who are not in a relationship but are welcome to bring a date? Help please! Is the "guest" even relevant on the save the date?

Re: Save the date etiquette?

  • I don't think "and guest" is at all relevant for the STD, especially since the wedding is 8 months away and relationship statuses can change drastically in that time.  I doubt any of your friends will be looking for a date this soon!

    If the long term relationship couple lives together, do 
    Ms Jane Doe
    Mr John Smith
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    Do not put them on the same line with an "and" as that denotes marriage.

    If they do not live together, you have a choice - you can send one to each, you can send one addressed to both but to one person's house.  I would decide based on what I think my friends would prefer.
  • I don't know if it's proper, but when we knew both people well, we listed both on the STD, but if we really only knew one of them we just sent it to them. We figured etiquette and defining "and guest" or not were more important on the actual invitation.
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  • Don't put "and guest" for now. Save that for the invitation. Like PP said, you don't know what people's relationships will be closer to the wedding. Also, if you run into any budgetary constraints it will be easier to decided not to give single friends "and guests". Once you give it, you shouldnt take it back.
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  • The one exception I would say would be for out-of-town guests who would need to make travel arrangements well ahead of time. They need to know their sig. other is invited in order to do that.
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