Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Bride and grooms gift to their son???

I don't want to get him a ring or a necklace. He is so excited and I wanted to present this to him during our wedding... Any ideas?

Re: Bride and grooms gift to their son???

  • How old is he?
  • Why not incorporate him into a sand ceremony or the unity candle? IMO, it is inappropriate to give a child a gift during a wedding ceremony between two adults. I would give him a gift at the RD.
  • MissCM, I was thinking about presenting him with a "gift" for example... a bible with his new last name on it ( he has my last name until our wedding so this is a big day for us both). Do you think that is inappropriate?
  • angie:  I'm not being combative here, but his adoption, and thus, his name change won't be happening on wedding day will they?  Won't you have a court date after the wedding to finalize the adoption?If that is the case, then I'd save the Bible with his new last name in it for the day he's actually adopted by your FI and his name changes.I'm also not a fan of including minor children in wedding ceremonies.  Giving him a gift of some kind is fine, but I'd do it at the RD, perhaps after you give your WP and parent gifts, if you're doing them.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Ditto trix wait for the adoption ceremoney. A wedding is two adults making a commitment to one another this kid has no choice. It is great that you love your son but this is a day about romantic love not maternal/paternal love and thus including your son this way comes off as creapy. He could give you away, be your best man, do a reading. light a unity candle, but he should not be more then the attendant and child of teh bride and groom  
  • my sis had her daughter stand in between them and the minister said a special prayer to honor the new family "unit" but she gave her a gift at the RD
  • I just don't understand how giving your son a gift is part of a wedding ceremony. The ceremony is uniting two adults (by choice) and has nothing to do with the child, IMO. A wedding ceremony is not a gift giving event anyway.. you and your FI will exchange rings that symbolize your wedding vows, but the bible would just be a gift.
  • He is not really being adopted. My FI is his biological father... I just thought it would be sweet to include him at the very end of our wedding.  I thought of it as something similar to giving our parents a rose or doing a prayer with our son. A friend of mine ( who is a wedding planner) suggested the bible and I just thought I would see what everyone thought and apparently its not such a good idea. I am giving him and everyone else a gift at the RD but this is a special day for both of us. I guess I wil have to re think it or ask more people.
  • cew515cew515
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    I know it's different for everyone, but we are including my son in the ceremony. He will be 5 and is super excited about it. We are calling it our "family wedding". My son never had a dad, so to us, this is just as much about us being together as a family as anything else. I don't want to do a ring or necklace either, so I don't think he'll be receiving a gift, but we will have a special vow just for him.
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  • I love that. Very sweet! Yes, sometimes if you do not have children it is hard to understand why you would want to include them in the wedding. I am very happy for you. Congratulations! CEW515 do you think it's okay if we give him a bible or do you suggest we (his parents) pray together? I was thinking about vows for him but I have no idea what to do with that considering our situation.
  • cew515cew515
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    I think a bible would be lovely. We are not super religious, so it wouldn't work for us, but I am sure it would be extremely special to your son. I used google and just research ways to include children in the ceremony and children's vows. I found some great info. It's apparently a rather common thing. I have yet to find vows that I love, so we may be writing our own.
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  • angie:  I do have children.  I have 3 and 2 children-in-law, so I have 5 children.  I adore my children.  I understand the overwhelming and unconditional love that a parent has for a child.  I love being a mom.  But that has no bearing on my thoughts about including children in a wedding ceremony.  By all means make your son part of the wedding.  As ff said, have him walk you down the aisle.  Have him be his dad's best man or a GM.  Have him do a reading at the ceremony.I just would not give him a gift during the ceremony or have you all repeat "vows" to each other.I wish you all well.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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