Invitation stamp question

TheMissusLia

We're having our invitations designed from scratch, and begun initial discussions with our designer. She has suggested that we purchase a return address stamp (and I'm all for it. The less I have to hand write, the better IMO), but I'm left with an etiquette question.

The stamp will be used for our invitations, yes, and probably Christmas cards moving forward over the years we're living where we are, so it doesn't make sense to put my maiden name when it won't be my name anymore after 5 1/2 ish months from now. But his name isn't my name yet, so I can only imagine Miss Manners says that using what will be my married name or a monogram is a no-no. Am I correct in that assumption?

What is the solution here? To just use our first names? Or just our address?

AddieL73

I would just use your address. We had our envelopes pre-printed with the return address, and that's how we did it. 

jcbsjr

Yeah, our envelopes came pre-printed with our return address.  Why can't you do that?  I don't think I'd use a stamp.

G2SoccerTaz

I also agree with just having the address printed on the envelopes. Or just having return address labels printed. I do not see the need for a stamp.

Liatris2010

Your assumption is correct, no monogramed stuff until after you're married. It sounds like your wedding is formal, so I wouldn't do first names only.

If you have to buy the stamp, why not do it with your married names, and use it after the wedding? You'll have just as many thank you cards as invites (more or less) so you can use it then, and have the invitations printed with a return address.

TheMissusLia

Printing the envelopes is an option, I suppose, but I'll be handwriting the "to" addresses, and I just like the idea of a stamp. I've found some really cute stamps I like. Our wedding is not at all formal, so using our first names is a viable choice.

I've certainly got some time before any real decisions about this have to be made, so I may very well end up printing the return address, after all.

It's good to know my thoughts about using his last name / a monogram were correct. Thanks! 

thurmanpowell

Be careful with only using your first names. If you're inviting any distant relatives/family friends they may not recognize you by first name alone.

TheMissusLia

In Response to Re: Invitation stamp question:

Be careful with only using your first names. If you're inviting any distant relatives/family friends they may not recognize you by first name alone.
Posted by thurmanpowell

Our wedding is relatively small, and we're only inviting close family and friends, so that wouldn't be an issue, but a good point.

thurmanpowell

Ah, nvm then.

tlc35

I bought a stamp with just our first names that I found on etsy. If the person is not sure who we are our full names are in the invites themselves

lwoehlk

In Response to Re: Invitation stamp question:

Be careful with only using your first names. If you're inviting any distant relatives/family friends they may not recognize you by first name alone.
Posted by thurmanpowell

While I think this might be a concern with other pieces of mail, the invitation inside would have your full name within it.

OP, our Etsy invitation designer made matching return labels that we used on our envelopes.  Our initials were used through the STDS, invitations, etc, so it just had our initials (with the cute lovebirds sitting on them) and our address.  Since you want to get a stamp to use afterwards, I would only have the address on it (although then I would actually have Thurman's concern about people not knowing who mail is coming from afterwards).  Or you could have them printed on the envelopes as others have added.  Or another option would be to just invest in a cheap version from Vistaprint with your maiden name.  It's a little wasteful, but at least it doesn't have the big cost.  Then you could still get the nicer stamp with your new name on it to use for your thank yous and the rest of your married life.  Sorry for this being so long winded!

msmerymac

We had ours preprinted on the envelope - just our address.

I also bought a stamp from Vistaprint with a little picture/symbol and our address, no names. I didn't change my last name and, honestly, it's hard to get both our names to fit. :) I used that stamp for the STDs and for Christmas cards and things sent from both of us since then.

TXKristan

I'm with PPs.  I just orderd labels for thank-you cards and Christmas cards and just put my address (He will move in with me after the wedding.)

I'm old-fashioned (and so are our families), so we didn't put our first names on the return label and risk giving the impression that we are living together before marriage.  I'm not sure what you & your families think, but if you're sending a card to more conservative relatives, it may be better to just have the address and not raise questions about your living situation.

TheMissusLia

We're living in sin.

abl13

Although we live together, I got the return envelopes pre-printed with just my name and then our address. I didn't want to chance some not making it to our house since there was no name.

Edit: Just like the PP, I also didn't want distant relatives to judge us for living together.

TXKristan

In Response to Re: Invitation stamp question:

We're living in sin.
Posted by TheMissusLia

zero judgement.  really.

Just thinking about a super-uptight aunt that may not know and will give you unnecessary grief.

lwoehlk

In Response to Re: Invitation stamp question:

We're living in sin.
Posted by TheMissusLia

ha, so were we.  Just do whatever you feel comfortable. Most people won't balk at the fact that both names are on there.  

erinlin25

Another sinner here, lol... I did our first names with address for our save the dates.  My parents are sending the actual invitation so they come back to them though so I don't have to worry about that.  I hand addressed the Save The Dates and it wasn't too painful (but I'm the girl who loves hand addressing so it doesn't bother me).  However, for after the wedding, we are getting printed address labels or a stamp with our married name/monogram . 

waywardgirl

In Response to Invitation stamp question:

We're having our invitations designed from scratch, and begun initial discussions with our designer. She has suggested that we purchase a return address stamp (and I'm all for it. The less I have to hand write, the better IMO), but I'm left with an etiquette question. The stamp will be used for our invitations, yes, and probably Christmas cards moving forward over the years we're living where we are, so it doesn't make sense to put my maiden name when it won't be my name anymore after 5 1/2 ish months from now. But his name isn't my name yet, so I can only imagine Miss Manners says that using what will be my married name or a monogram is a no-no. Am I correct in that assumption? What is the solution here? To just use our first names? Or just our address?
Posted by TheMissusLia

I just bought a return address stamp - we just used our first names. :)

waywardgirl

In Response to Re: Invitation stamp question:

Be careful with only using your first names. If you're inviting any distant relatives/family friends they may not recognize you by first name alone.
Posted by thurmanpowell

You know, I'm so glad you say this, because we're inviting so many of my fiance's distant relatives that I hope they get confused. Because I honestly don't know why we're inviting them. Oh wait, we're inviting them because his family wants them to send us gifts.

StageManager14

We had just our address preprinted on our invites, but our return address labels just have our last name and address, no first names. Would you be more comfortable with this? Personally, I'd buy the stamp you want and use it without a second thought, but I just wasn't all that worried about things that didn't impact my guests directly.

Kate61487

We did a stamp and just did first names.  Used it with black ink for the return address and with silver ink on our RSVP envelopes (which were dark purple).  I didn't really think about pre-printing and stmaping seemed like a fun psuedo-diy type thing to do. I was really happy with how it came out.

Even though we used just our first names I still didn't get to use it for anything after the wedding b/c we bought a new house a few weeks before the big day; oh well! 

Oh - and I don't think you need to worry about people not knowing who it's from.  Most will know the wedding's coming up and recognize it right away, but even for those who don't: that's really not the function of a return address.

amymaysa

We used a stamp with just our first names and address. I used it on our thank you's as well and plan to continue to use it till we move.

I don't think you have to worry about just first names, people are more likely to recognize your first names and address than just your address.

RetreadBride

We're living in sin.

We are bound for hell, too.  I slept with the minister!

We lived together, too, and he's a UU minister.

Hand-written invitations are a rule I'll be glad to see expire.  It was designed because typed envelopes and labels are for business correspondence, not personal correspondence, and look like form letters.

Today, though, we have laser printers with beautiful fonts that rival the finest engraving.  WHAT is so wrong with selecting an elegant script and running them through the printer?

That's one rule that I truly believe just hasn't caught up with the times.   It's not rude to the guests (like asking for money), and looks more elegant.

Liatris2010

In Response to Re: Invitation stamp question:

We're living in sin. We are bound for hell, too.  I slept with the minister! We lived together, too, and he's a UU minister. Hand-written invitations are a rule I'll be glad to see expire.  It was designed because typed envelopes and labels are for business correspondence, not personal correspondence, and look like form letters. Today, though, we have laser printers with beautiful fonts that rival the finest engraving.  WHAT is so wrong with selecting an elegant script and running them through the printer? That's one rule that I truly believe just hasn't caught up with the times.   It's not rude to the guests (like asking for money), and looks more elegant.
Posted by RetreadBride

This made me laugh out loud. Good thing my office mate is gone for the holidays. Sleeping with the minister!