Two weddings, one summer

TheBaysideBride

My younger brother is a competitive guy, and had been dating his gf for four years with no engagement in sight. my boyfriend told him when he planned to propose to me, and my brother decided to ask his gf a week earlier. Whatever. I was excited for them, withheld any snark, and just was thrilled for them.

Fast forward a month, we're now both engaged, they planned their wedding for June, and when I told him our August date, his response was that it was TOO CLOSE to theirs!! Two months later! I'm getting married in Maine, and can't wed during the September Jewish holidays, and the venue has one open Saturday for the whole summer.

There is absolutely no way he's correct, and i'm somehow planning to close to his, right? I'm not going to try to do an engagement party near his, or anything else to take away from his special events.  I just want my one day in Maine to marry my best friend.

thurmanpowell

I don't think you're in the wrong. 2 months later is perfectly fine. The only concern I see would be traveling guests, and if it would be problematic for them to travel twice. If that's an issue you may want to reconsider the month, but even if you don't are you aren't in the wrong.

Edie Bee

You also got good answers on SB.  Please don't post this on every board; that's considered spamming.

TheBaysideBride

Edie - sorry, after i posted i realized i might actually be wrong!!
we have almost none of the same guests.....

Peledreamsofrain

You're obsessing too much about something that is clearly incorrect.  Deep breathes, there are plenty of other constructive details that need your time and attention, and will make your wedding awesome.

Edie Bee

I think you're totally fine.  He is being silly.

sydaries

Ditto thurman. You only get one day- I will push it to one weekend with a one weekend buffer on each end.  Like if he got married on Saturday 12/1 I PERSONALLY think it would be too close if you did 12/8 but not necessarily if its 12/17, ya digg? It would not be against etiquette to do it so close, but it would be busy as all bejeezes.

I think that i your current plan is fine and he should cool his jets.

courtski2004

Brother gets a day and you get a day. To avoid any of this tit for tat in the future, you may want to keep quiet about any of your wedding plans moving forward. Since you will have many of the same guests that are family, I recommend sending out STD's 6 months out so that people can plan their travels accordingly. My cousin and I (who share 25 mutual guests) got married 2 months apart last summer with one wedding in Texas and one in Vermont. Everyone knew far enough in advance to plan for both and there were no issues.

ETA-I'm the slowest typer of all time today and you already mentioned that you share minimal mutual guests.

jcbsjr

He (nor anyone) gets to claim an entire season as being 'theirs' FFS.  He's being ridiculous.  People get married every damn day.  

Cortney1982

Gah, you brother cannot reserve an entire summer.  Keep your date.  If it bothers him so much he can change his.  I would not utter another word about any wedding details that can get leaked to your brother.

TheBaysideBride

Thanks guys! very good advice about not sharing other details, and I'll ask my well-meaning but very yappy mother to do the same.

TXKristan

My brother & I got married 3 months apart.  He pitched a hissy fit at first (because it looked like I was going to get married first), but he's now totally cool.  My SIL & I also found ways to make it work for both of us.  For example, I was a bridesmaid for her & she is mine.  She & I split the cost for sparkly bridesmaid shoes (we both wanted our bridesmaids in silver glittery heels).  Her daugther is the flower girl for both and will wear the same dress (with some different accessories).  Our weddings are totally different and so far it's working out fine.

(although it's funny since the Registry lady at our Bed Bath & Beyond knows both me & my brother now and makes sure when people ask for a registry, she clarifies "are you going to the brother's or the sister's wedding??")

Dreamergirl8812

Don't spill the details on your honeymoon!

random4180

My younger brother and I both got engaged in 2011 (June and August) and got married in 2012 (October and August.) Everything worked out fine; we're so completely different that nothing looked similar and there were only a handful of overlapping guests. Don't overthink it!

aquari0216

Brother shall get over himself....