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Etiquette

Minister Invited to Rehearsal Dinner?

So I've seen a lot of posts asking who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, but none regarding the minister.  Is it customary to invite the minister to the RD?  My FMIL is asking and I'm not sure what the answer is.

Thanks!

Re: Minister Invited to Rehearsal Dinner?

  • I think you should invite him. Seems like common courtesy to me to.
  • apple_greenapple_green
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited September 2010
    It's my understanding that if you know him personally (i.e. he's the pastor of your church, a family friend, etc.), then he should be invited.

    Our officiant is just a guy we found online, and hired as any other vendor. We're not inviting him because that would feel weird.
  • We did, along with his wife, because he attended the rehearsal and helped us plan the ceremony.  Part of our appreciation for his role in everything was inviting him to the RD.
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  • We invited ours (and his wife, of course) since he is the pastor of the church H grew up in.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
  • LoveBugBabyLoveBugBaby
    100 Comments
    member
    edited September 2010
    I think it's the polite thing to do since he is taking time out of his evening to attend the rehearsal, not to mention he has put in some work with helping to plan your wedding ceremony. 

    We know our officiant (he's my SIL's father) so for us it was an obvious yes to him and his wife being invited to dinner... had we not known him very well, I think we'd still be inviting him to dinner.

    ETA:  And yes, if you do invite him, you should def. be inviting his wife/SO as well.
  • We are inviting ours too. She was my Sunday School teacher growing up.
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • We're inviting the priest. I've yet to meet him since my regular priest will just be getting back from Europe that night and won't be doing our ceremony.

    I thought it was pretty much mandatory to invite him/her?

    image
  • If the minister is involved in the rehearsal, you should invite him/her.

    My priest has to give Mass during my RD, but he'll at least get the invitation.
  • apple_green has a valid point, I suppose if you are just meeting him it could be awkward. I think I might still invite him though since he's taking the time out of his day to do the rehersal. I remeber last year the bride and groom didn't invite their priest (from the church they go to every week no less) and I thougt it was kinda rude
  • I'd say yes, invite him/her. Unless you have a relationship beyond officiant/couple, he/she'll probably decline, but if they'll be at the rehersal, it's nice to ask.
  • Of COURSE you invite the minister and SO to the RD.

    Could you really look the minister in the eye after your rehearsal and say,

    "Hey thanks for putting all this rehearsal stuff together, and for helping all of us understand what we're going to be doing tomorrow.  Most of us have only been in a few weddings and each one is different, and having you teach us was really helpful.  And thanks for meeting with just FI and me to talk over stuff.  That opened some communication that's been good for us, and good for us to build a solid foundation for our marriage.  Oh, and thanks for everything you've done and will do to make tomorrow go really smoothly, and be really special just for us.  Well, gotta go.  FI's parents are hosting a really big dinner tonight for everyone involved in the rehearsal - well, I mean everyone except YOU because well this is your JOB really and you know.  So have a nice night eating PB&J and watching PBS or whatever you minister people do.  See you tomorrow!"
  • edited September 2010
    Of COURSE you invite the minister and SO to the RD. Could you really look the minister in the eye after your rehearsal and say, "Hey thanks for putting all this rehearsal stuff together, and for helping all of us understand what we're going to be doing tomorrow.  Most of us have only been in a few weddings and each one is different, and having you teach us was really helpful.  And thanks for meeting with just FI and me to talk over stuff.  That opened some communication that's been good for us, and good for us to build a solid foundation for our marriage.  Oh, and thanks for everything you've done and will do to make tomorrow go really smoothly, and be really special just for us.  Well, gotta go.  FI's parents are hosting a really big dinner tonight for everyone involved in the rehearsal - well, I mean everyone except YOU because well this is your JOB really and you know.  So have a nice night eating PB&J and watching PBS or whatever you minister people do.  See you tomorrow!"
    Posted by Kristin789
    If she's never seen it, it's probably not so obvious to her. fwiw, the officiant at my cousin's wedding was surprised to be invited to the reception - never happened before, she said - and was happy to attend.

    OP, I'm just guessing here that you'd been unsure of whether clergy or whatever typically go to these, and they might feel awkward or obligated to stay if they don't usually? I'd say invite him or her and SO if there is one. Your officiant might not typically join in RDs and might decline but it's a nice gesture to invite them - they will appreciate it all the same.
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