Warning: this is pretty long and really personal. I just really need some advice, and any that you can give me will be greatly appreciated.
Back story: my mom and dad got divorced when I was about 9. My mom raised me and my brother alone after that. Since then, he’s continued to steal from my mom, occasionally harass her via telephone, and the last time he even brought me into the middle of an argument. He has since moved thousands of miles away, but still occasionally contacts me via email and sends me birthday cards. I saw him this past summer because my grandmother (his mom) passed away, and my brother and I attended the funeral.
I’m getting married in 5 months, and am still completely undecided as to whether I should tell my father/invite him. I did not tell him that I was engaged last summer when I saw him (I wasn’t sure if I would invite him – didn’t want to cause conflict when his mother just died).
My mother has wanted nothing to do with him for years, and recently got remarried. She is paying for the wedding, and has told me she doesn’t want him there.
I just wonder if I’ll look back at my wedding and regret not having my father there. Even after all he’s done to my mom, I honestly feel like he loves me and my brother very much, but sucks at showing it (that kind of sounded like an enabling statement). Should I consider asking my mom to talk to him?
Any advice? Has anyone been in a similar situation?
May 2013 Brides February Siggy: Invites