Wedding Etiquette Forum

Paying for our own wedding

Our parents are deceased and there's no one to help pay for our wedding, so we're on our own. We figure we can scrape together enough money to pay for an outdoor ceremony with no bridesmaids or groomsmen -- just a BM and MOH -- and a nice dinner reception for about 50 close friends.
We will have to limit our rehearsal dinner to just the wedding party and their spouses, because that's all we can afford. And we won't have an after-party at all.
I feel badly that we can't do more, because all of our guests will be traveling from out of state. Fortunatelly, we live in Las Vegas, so they'll have plenty of other things to do. (In fact, they might be happier partying on their own than hanging with us all weekend.)
My concern is this: Are we breaking any etiquette rules by not including all the out-of-towners at the rehearsal dinner? We don't want to start our marraige in debt, and it seems to me that it's more important to put our resources into the ceremony and reception.

Re: Paying for our own wedding

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-own-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:81dbc988-574b-48f1-9dd9-13df41e398d6Post:22501b60-4837-46da-b193-b29dcd28c756">Paying for our own wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our parents are deceased and there's no one to help pay for our wedding, so we're on our own. We figure we can scrape together enough money to pay for an outdoor ceremony with no bridesmaids or groomsmen -- just a BM and MOH -- and a nice dinner reception for about 50 close friends. We will have to limit our rehearsal dinner to just the wedding party and their spouses, because that's all we can afford. And we won't have an after-party at all. I feel badly that we can't do more, because all of our guests will be traveling from out of state. Fortunatelly, we live in Las Vegas, so they'll have plenty of other things to do. (In fact, they might be happier partying on their own than hanging with us all weekend.)<strong> My concern is this: Are we breaking any etiquette rules by not including all the out-of-towners at the rehearsal dinner?</strong> We don't want to start our marraige in debt, and it seems to me that it's more important to put our resources into the ceremony and reception.
    Posted by gownmaker[/QUOTE]

    Absolutely not.  If all the guests are OOT and you have them at the rehearsal AND the reception, that is, effectively, TWO recepetions.  And just silly.

    If you wish to host a "Welcome to Town" cocktail party after the rehearsal dinner that would be nice,but again, not necessary.

    In fact, with just a B/G/MOH/BM...do you even need a rehearsal and dinner?  I'd skip all of that.
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  • I don't think you have to invite all of the OOT guests to the RD.  You are hosting a dinner for them the following night and since you live in Vegas I'm sure they will find plenty to do.  Honestly if I was visiting Vegas for a wedding I think I would rather go out than go to a RD.  I'm only inviting the WP, their spouses and our immediate family to the RD.
  • With such a small wedding party, I think your RD can easily be pizza at your place the night before the wedding.  Congrats on your wedding!
  • We had a 30 person restaurant wedding and everyone but 4 people were OOT guests.  We each had 1 person stand up for us (MOH & BM) and had an outdoor ceremony so we just simply didnt have a RD.  They are not required, just a nice thank you for people who put up with long church rehersals for your ceremony when really, walking down an aisle is pretty freaking straight forward.

    And we had a pub after party where we just paid for some late night food but people got their own drinks, you might think about doing something like that because it turned out to be a lot of fun!
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  • Our wedding was about the same, and honestly, we didn't do a rehearsal OR rehearsal dinner.  The day of, while we were having pictures taken, a friend of ours ran everyone through a quick rehearsal.  Voila! 

    However, because everyone had to be there so early, we did provide snacks and drinks for the WP (we actually had 7 people) so they wouldn't be famished by the end.
  • Nope you don't have to invite OOT guests, and like others said, a rehearsal and dinner is not even really necessary, esp. in your case. If you have to or want to have one, just do something low-key like pizza and beer.


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    Vacation
  • No, you do not.  As you mentioned, living in LV is definintely a bonus because your out of town guests can also treat it like a vacation.  I would!  Sounds great.  Enjoy your wedding.



  • We are tight on money and paying for everything ourselves too so we are thinking of not having a RD.  We will run through the ceremony with the officiant beforehand but other than that I'm just making cards for each person in the WP explaining to them basically every detail and at what time it will roughly occur so they know.
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