Etiquette

Mother's Day wedding

We've been looking at May 12, 2013 for our wedding. We were pretty set on it actually. But then I just learned that it is Mother's Day.

I haven't had a chance to discuss with FI yet, but I'm leaning towards going for it as we need to keep our guest number down anyway. We want to have our reception in a bowling alley and it only fits 120-130 people. But I don't want to inconvenience people and I don't want the party to end early cause everyone needs to get to their mother's. I just want to be considerate. Any thoughts?

Re: Mother's Day wedding

  • pkontkpkontk
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    Talk to your VIPs - the people you absolutely need to have at the wedding - and see what they say.  If they're ok with it then go for it, but keep in mind you mght have a higher decline rate among those you aren't as close to.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    You need to pick the date that works best for you, your FI and your VIPs.  If May 12th is the date the works then go for it.  Honestly, it would be like any other date you picked, people will either be able to come or they won't.

  • Your venue shouldn't have anything to do with using a holiday to keep your attendance low. You should choose a venue based on your entire guest list.
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  • Ditto the others on checking with the VIPs for dates. However, are you planning on inviting more people than the bowling alley holds and hoping Mother's Day makes some decline? That's the gist I got from your OP, but correct me if I'm wrong.

    If you were planning on doing this, don't do it. You may end up with 100% attendance or close to it; there is no way to tell. If the bowling alley only holds 130, you only invite 130, or you'll need to find a bigger venue to accommodate every person you invite.


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  • In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding:
    Ditto the others on checking with the VIPs for dates. However, are you planning on inviting more people than the bowling alley holds and hoping Mother's Day makes some decline? That's the gist I got from your OP, but correct me if I'm wrong. If you were planning on doing this, don't do it. You may end up with 100% attendance or close to it; there is no way to tell. If the bowling alley only holds 130, you only invite 130, or you'll need to find a bigger venue to accommodate every person you invite.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride
    No, we wouldn't invite more that what could comfortably fit in the alley. I'm saying our A list will be smaller than we'd ideally like, but if people are not able to attend, we could dip into the B list and so forth. So perhaps having it on a holiday will make it all work out in the end.  But who knows? I am not good at this wedding planning stuff. It's giving me hives. Lol.
  • Just say no to the B list.
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  • When you say you're worried it will end early b/c people need to get to their Mother's I'm curious what time are you planning on doing the wedding?  Sunday weddings tend to end early regardless b/c most people work the next day. 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding:
    In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding : No, we wouldn't invite more that what could comfortably fit in the alley. I'm saying our A list will be smaller than we'd ideally like, but if people are not able to attend, we could dip into the B list and so forth. So perhaps having it on a holiday will make it all work out in the end.  But who knows? I am not good at this wedding planning stuff. It's giving me hives. Lol.
    Posted by akirahwy
    No, just no.

  • In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding:
    In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding : No, just no.
    Posted by Maggie0829
     No just no what? No B list?
  • In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding:
    When you say you're worried it will end early b/c people need to get to their Mother's I'm curious what time are you planning on doing the wedding?  Sunday weddings tend to end early regardless b/c most people work the next day. 
    Posted by Stackeye210
    I don't mind the wedding being earlier in the day, but I dunno if people would try to split their time between their moms and our wedding. They most certainly can do that, but if it's gonna add stress to a lot of people, I'd rather just go with another date.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding:
    In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding :  No just no what? No B list?
    Posted by akirahwy
    Yes, no to the b-list.  It is rude to have a b-list and everyone on the b-list will know that they are second strings.

  • My birthday was on mother's day a few years ago, and a lot of people said they wanted to come out for drinks with me, but very few people did when they realized it was mother's day.

    BUT a wedding is more important than a birthday.

    I live 2600 miles away from my mom, so I'm always free on mother's day.
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  • In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding:
    In Response to Re: Mother's Day wedding : I don't mind the wedding being earlier in the day, but I dunno if people would try to split their time between their moms and our wedding. They most certainly can do that, but if it's gonna add stress to a lot of people, I'd rather just go with another date.
    Posted by akirahwy
    I would say if you are this worried about your guests' scheduling, pick another date.  If you do pick Mother's Day, make sure it works for your VIPs, and then don't worry about your guests--they are adults that can figure out how to spend their time. 

    And ditto the others that a B list is not a considerate thing to do to your guests, so skip that. 

  • Skip the B list no matter what date you end up marrying on. People who are B-listed will know they are "second string" and it's very rude to rank your guests like that. It's fine to have a smaller guest list; people understand that you can't invite everybody to a wedding all the time. Or you can find a bigger venue and invite everyone as an "A list" guest.


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  • Also be aware that you may end up with a higher rate of guests who RSVP that they'll attend and then don't come once they realize it's the holiday.  I know people (DH, for instance) who don't keep track that it's Mother's or Father's Day until the Friday of that week.  Whoops!  Is it technically rude not to show except in cases of emergency?  Of course, but it will still happen.
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