in a bind

cocacolibear

so, I'm 5.5 months from my wedding and I found out today, one of my bridesmaids can not be in the wedding due to her finanical circumstances.  Is it ok to ask another of my friends to fill in for her? 

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b450788-a278-4969-a65e-7771429a307bPost:47b8b3f8-afc2-4b92-b89d-6e384356ed75">Re: in a bind</a>:
[QUOTE]additional question: Would it be ok to have her wear a corsage or something like that at the wedding as a way of honoring her and our friendship even though she was unable to be in the party or would that be weird and seem rude to other guests?
Posted by cocacolibear[/QUOTE]

I think that would be a nice gesture, that is if you don't think she'd feel awkward about it.  I had a bride drop out for financial reasons and I still listed her as a BM in the wedding program.

mrsamyjones

I wouldn't get her a corsage or anything, she's still an honored guest. It would be weird/confusing to me to see one other person wearing a corsage other then immediate family. It may lead to someone asking her about it, and putting her in an awkward situation.

MISSCOURTNEY20

I think that you should just help her out financially. If you give her a flower or list her in the program, someone might ask her why she wasn't in it, and open her up to embarrassment. Hopefully, her financial issues aren't too much that you and your FI can't help out.

HisCB

ditto mrsamy and misscourtney re:honorary BM.

have the bm dresses been ordered yet? can you go with another style that is less expensive?
what other expenses will she have? is it DW? cant she do her own make-up/hair? wear her own shoes or borrow shoes etc?
i would hate for any of my BMs to feel like she(or he) has to drop out because she cannot afford it, i would lower my expectations before letting her drop out.

as far as the "replacable" aspect, your original BM knows she was the 1st pick. if your replacement bm doesnt know that she was 2nd pick, it will be fine.  in my experience, most people who arent planning a wedding assume that there will be even sides. its possible that your replacement bm doesnt think of herself as a fill in.

i would rather have uneven sides than leave someone special out or include someone i wouldnt otherwise.