"Matron" of Honor

TKzilla

My best friend (who lives thousands of miles away) got married the day after I got engaged (FI surprised me by proposing on the plane ride there so she could be the first to see the ring). I was the maid of honor in her wedding, and of course I want her to be the maid of honor in mine.

The problem is my mother keeps insisting that because she is married, she must be introduced as (and listed in the program as) the MATRON of honor... she's 25... do I have to call her a matron? Because it just makes her sound... old...

Chrissymm88

My sister is not much older than your friend and is also married, but I am still calling her Matron of Honor because thats the "proper" term for a married BP member. I totally agree it sounds old, so I just keep shortening it up and calling her MOH

LizM61409

Yes. Technically maid = single, matron = married

misssunshine17

Yes, technically. However, my MOH is 24 and we decided she's not at all a maton. Some people think that marton doesn't incinuate old, but I think it does. 

daveANDkristen

Tell your mother than while "matron" is technically correct, both are acceptable, and you prefer to use "maid".  Most of your wedding guests probably don't know your MOH's marital status, so I can't imagine they would notice/care.

Maggie0829

What does your MOH prefer?  Matron is the appropriate term because she is married but if she really despises the term then you can always list her as Maid.  In the end this will have no affect on the outcome of your wedding.

bridalmarch

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:942b4ed4-1d93-415a-af02-ffeacbbdb94cPost:6f8db60a-3423-4758-8a6b-35016db40c5c">Re: "Matron" of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]You could list her as "Honor attendant" if you dislike the proper term.
Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what I'm doing. My (married) sister specifically asked not to be listed as matron of honor. </div>

libby18bell

I think your making a bigger deal out of it than needs to be.  Most people get that Matron of Honor means married and Maid of Honor means single.  Obviously your friend since she's the same age as you won't come off as overly "mature" in the years sense.  

renegade gaucho

Yes, technically "matron" refers to a married woman and "maid" refers to a single woman.  However, all wedding titles are made up and don't really mean anything, so it doesn't matter what you call her.

Kate61487

While I agree with PPs that you can call her maid if you want even though she's technically a matron you should definitely ask your MOH her opinion first.  I don't love the term 'matron', but I am married and would be kind of irritated if a friend decided for me to list me in the program as unmarried (just like it irritates me when people use Miss or Ms instead of Mrs for me).  She hasnt' been married that long and my be reveling in the 'I get to be a Mrs / Matron" feeling.

Switching to 'Honor attendant' is a safer bet if you truly hate the proper MOH wording.

Peledreamsofrain

Ask her what she prefers, and go with what she chooses. There's no wedding police waiting to arrest you for breaking with tradition or anything. But mke sure it's her decision that's honored, becuase you never know what people get offended about when it comes to their titles. I've had people get their panties in a knot at me when I addressed them as Ms instead of Mrs. weird.

daria24

I hate the whole distinguish between married and single women thing. I just called my sister my Best Woman.

mrsjoesmith

My MOH is 26 and I am listing and referring to her as my married maid of honor. She insisted that she is no matron. Lol

TKzilla

I asked her and she said "So help me God if you call me matron I will smack you. Yes, on your wedding day."

So I guess it's settled then!

PS: Stage, nobody's "freaking out". 

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:942b4ed4-1d93-415a-af02-ffeacbbdb94cPost:4d43d68d-0b18-47f1-9066-d87890c225d6">Re:quot;Matronquot; of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]My MOH is 26 and I am listing and referring to her as my married maid of honor. She insisted that she is no matron. Lol
Posted by mrsjoesmith[/QUOTE]

Hah!  My sister was my MOH and she did the same thing!  Maid of Honor she was then, despite being married.

kipnus

My sister got married 50 days after I did. Fortunately, she also decided against having programs, because I would have hated to be listed as the Matron of  Honour! Let's face it; the adjective "matronly" is never a compliment.

Amyzen83

I think you should ask your friend what she prefers?

TKzilla

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_matron-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:942b4ed4-1d93-415a-af02-ffeacbbdb94cPost:e2159e8d-9853-4d88-9f82-87f24369ccc2">Re: "Matron" of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should ask your friend what she prefers?
Posted by Amyzen83[/QUOTE]

<div>... I already did? Read the entire thread, please.</div>

WinstonsGirl

Thanks for asking your friend.  My best friend called me a Matron of Honour, which I technically am, since I'm married, but it made me feel old and frumpy.  I wish I had known about it before the wedding!!  Though technically correct, who really cares what you're called, so go with what she prefers