Is this inappropriate?

mbmcnally4

I wanted to do something different for my walk down the aisle, but I'm getting some opposition from my family.  I was raised Catholic, but am having a Non-Denominational ceremony which has already rocked the boat.  So, when I suggested that I wanted to walk down the aisle to my grandparent's wedding song I was told that it was inappropriate for a church ceremony...and that I should just walk down to the traditional Wedding March.  Is this inappropriate for a church wedding or is my family being over-sensitive?  Any thoughts?

danieliza1127

What's the song?  As long as the church you're getting married in is okay with it and the song is appropriate for a wedding, then it's fine.  Obviously your parents don't  like non-traditional stuff, but that doesn't mean non-traditional is wrong. 

shellybeth

I think it is fine, but then again I am in no way religious. It is yours and your FI's wedding and you want to do what makes you happy, but sometimes it is just easier to please other people then having an angry mob at you.

ffmaid

1. depends what the song is 2. Catholics do not use teh wedding march as it is from a musical and is secular  

trix1223

ditto pps about checking with the church. I am an organist in a Presbyterian Church and our church doesn't allow secular music for wedding ceremonies. If your church is okay with it, then remind your parents that this is your choice, and the church has agreed that it's okay.

Mommy2Ciara2007

The traditional "Wedding March" cannot be used in a Catholic wedding. It's a secular song and the Catholic church doesn't allow secular songs to be played inside the church during a wedding, so your family wasn't paying all that much attention. My family is being rocked a little bit (the older generations) that I'm getting married under a tree by a minister rather than in a Church with a priest, but it's my marriage and I didn't choose a) a Catholic to marry and b) to get married in a church at all. I would direct any and all "appropriate" questions to the church and report back to the family that the church is fine with it and so that's what you'll do. I am going to do my best to fit in plenty of Catholic elements for MYSELF and I think it will please my parents and pacify my grandmother a little, but the point that it is not in the Catholic church is going to be the biggest pill to swallow (not to mention the lack of a church at all) but I think everyone knows I'm not traditional and I'm living a "sinful" live as it is. FI and I did not marry before the birth of our daughter and she will be three before we are married. But it's our life and they love us so they had to accept it.

mbcdefg

Are you referring to the popular "Here Comes the Bride" tune (Richard Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" from Lohengrin)? If so:* Many Catholic churches don't even allow this song to be used because it's frmo a secular opera and not religious in nature. Some churches do allow it (I heard this song used as the processional at a Catholic wedding last year), but not all. * The song is actually used AFTER the wedding in the opera, not as the processional. So it's not even a traditional processional song, technically. And the couple's marriage pretty much ends as soon as it begins. * Richard Wagner has been rumored to be an Anti-Semite. So I think your family needs to do some research before they go around telling you that your choices are "inappropriate."

stacrb98

I would run it past both the church and your grandparents (if you can ask them).  I think being that it is their wedding song i would want to clear it past them.

adnapidna

MBC = you're great.  Thanks for that.  It made me smile.

Lasairiona

You have to talk to the church. A rare few do allow it but the majority don't because it isn't religious at all. Some churches even go so far as to use the argument that the composer was anti-Semite which is why they may not allow it.

jchapman330

You said you are having a non-denominational ceremony? I am assuming in a non-denominational church? Most non-dem churches are not very "religious" at all. AS in they don't follow man written doctorines and such. Denominations/religion are all man made and usually have little to do with the Bible, Christ etc etc so I am betting a non-denominational church doesn't have a particular list of whats appropriate, not appropriate...unless it has cursing or suggestive language, and if it does I am betting you wouldn't even be asking

shortkake

I think you should do what YOU want to do! I was also raised Catholic and am getting married by a judge (unheard of in my family) and I'm walking down the aisle to an Elvis song. I think its nice that you picked out a song that reminded you of your grandparents. That's more special than a generic song just to keep the peace. Good luck!!

dldrm

Depending on the church where you get married, you may or may not be able to use secular music.I know in Baptist churches that's usually frowned upon, but if you're getting married in a non-denominational church I would assume they would be okay with it.I feel your pain on the traditional family though.  I am getting married in a loft/art lounge and hardly any element in our wedding is going to be traditional.  Luckily, my traditional family is in Illinois and I am in Florida, so I hear very little of the complaints.

ootmother2

The traditional "Wedding March" cannot be used in a Catholic wedding. It's a secular song and the Catholic church doesn't allow secular songs to be played inside the church during a wedding, so your family wasn't paying all that much attention. Wrong.  The traditional "Wedding March" is up to the discretion of the priest or diocese. It is NOT church rule

britab

We got married at a Southern Baptist church and the only requirement was that the pastor approved of the music before we used it. That was to make sure there was no cussing etc. in the music. I don't think it's inappropriate at all to use the music you want.

rafaam96

the traditional wedding march is also used in an orgy scene of a very popular play that premiered in the 70's i beleive. let them know about that and see what they say....we're using canon in d

jonandlauren

I got married in a Presbyterian church which is pretty traditional, and I didn't walk down the aisle to the traditional wedding march. I think that as long as the words (if there are words) aren't questionable, its totally appropriate!

klkuczynski

Ha!  I feel your pain!!!  My mom totally flipped when she heard that we weren't using "here comes the bride".  She said "no one will know you're going to come in you know!"Some people are just stuck in their own era.  I think is a beautifu tribute to your grandparents to honor their marriage at your wedding by using their song.Best of luck!

whit017

I think that you should do whatever makes you happy. I was originally going to walk down the aisle to a non-traditional song that I really enjoy. I've since changed my mind and will have my bridal party walk down the aisle to it, and then I will walk down to "here comes the bride". Is that an option because then you could please everyone?

mbmcnally4

Thanks for all of your ideas and suggestions!  I am getting married in the chapel on campus where we went to college and our minister is actually a friend who was ordained through his Non-Denominational church.  The song I wanted to walk down the aisle to is "Always" which is sung by Frank Sinatra.  No profanity...just a good old fashioned song which was my grandparent's wedding song and I love it!  My parent's and siblings have been very open to all of our other non-traditional aspects to the wedding (except for the non-Catholic ceremony) so I'm not sure why this one caused such an uproar.  But like many of you said, as long as the church is ok with it, it's my wedding and I'm gonna do what I want!!  Thanks again!

smg09

honestly, i am sick of the wedding march and cannon. my fi is a percussion major and he is in charge of choosing relevant beautiful music. and we even talked about walking out to the 1812 overture just bc it would be hilarious! we went to a wedding last year where they marched out to a punk tune and the wedding we went to last week had a marimba quartet for the preludes, processional and recessions and special music during the ceremony instead of a string quartet. they got so much hell when they told people their plan and everyone was blown away by how awesome it sounded.

Nikkiesix

To note what others have already said, as long as the Church is okay with it. Are you having a non-denominational cerenmony in a church???? I think that it is very touching and special that you would use your grandparents wedding song! I wish you luck! In the end, it will not really matter, but it is your day!

themidge

if it's non denominational why does it matter? geez you'd think family would be touched by a gesture to honor your grandparents. i suppose it depends on the song.