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Etiquette

Budget etiquette help?

I am trying to begin planning for my wedding roughly one year from now. I am a student so now is better than mid sumester. Anyway, I have having trouble figuring out my budget. My fiance and have save up some money, and both of our parents are willing to chip in. Is there a polite way to how much they are wanting to help with so that I know just how cheap I'm going going to have to be?

Sorry for the long post
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Re: Budget etiquette help?

  • If both sets of your parents have already volunteered to help, which is sounds like they have, you could say something along the lines of: "Mom and Dad, I know that you guys mentioned you are willing to contribute to our wedding.  We are trying to set up a budget and we are just wondering how much you would feel comfortable helping us out with."  

    Just be warned, though, unless you actually have that money in hand, don't rely too heavily on it.  You wouldn't believe how many brides post on here about how they don't know what to do because someone was unable to contribute money that was promised.  I'm certainly not saying your parents would promise money and then take it away, but circumstances can change, so be cautious when factoring in money from others.
  • Definitely ask the parents in a straightforward but polite manner. 

    Also, make sure you ask questions about their vision for the wedding so you can determine the level of control they expect to have over everything.  Some parents believe that if they contribute money then they get to have complete control over the event, so consider whether your parents or his parents may feel that way.  
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Good luck with this.  I had a similar situation with my parents and tried the straight-forward approach PP have suggested and I got a flustered "oh, well what were you guys thinking of doing" (as in, give us all the details and then we'll give you a number.) This has frustrated my FI to no end as his parents are very up front about money things whilst mine are not.  Our plan is to come up with a couple options and get price estimations and then discuss with my parents so it feels more concrete to them.

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