• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Etiquette

Name change - professional vs. personal?

Anyone here use their maiden name professionally, and their husband's name socially?  How did you manage this?

I'm halfway through medical school and am obviously registered at my school under my maiden name.  All my official standardized test scores (Step 1) are in my name as well.  I'd like to practice under my maiden name if I can, and know several doctors who do this.  BUT -- all of them got married during or after their residency, when they were already MDs!

I'm not sure if it would be too complicated to wait until I finish medical school and THEN change my name, so that my MD will be in my maiden name, or if this will just be too complicated and I need to decide once and for all if I'm going to keep or change my name.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?  Any suggestions?

Re: Name change - professional vs. personal?

  • A lot of places require that you practice under your legal name, so make sure you know if that's the case in your state. 

    My cousin uses her husband's last name socially, but professionally and legally she uses her maiden name, because that's what she got her MD with and that's how her colleagues/patients knew her. 
  • Thanks for the input!  Sorry I wasn't entirely clear -- I was thinking of changing my name legally to his, but using my maiden name profesionally, not keeping my name legally and using his socially.  But I suppose you're right that it's probably not possible to do that and would be much easier the other way around.

    In general, I'm pretty torn about the whole name change issue, and I want to have my cake and eat it too!  Sadly that's usually not possible . . . and I don't think I'll find an ideal solution in this case.  But I think you all have very helpful input -- I really appreciate it!
  • In Response to Re: Name change - professional vs. personal?:
    Thanks for the input!  Sorry I wasn't entirely clear -- I was thinking of changing my name legally to his, but using my maiden name profesionally, not keeping my name legally and using his socially.  But I suppose you're right that it's probably not possible to do that and would be much easier the other way around. In general, I'm pretty torn about the whole name change issue, and I want to have my cake and eat it too!  Sadly that's usually not possible . . . and I don't think I'll find an ideal solution in this case.  But I think you all have very helpful input -- I really appreciate it!
    Posted by elplute

    I'm pretty sure you can't do this.  I'm not changing my name, but socially I will be referred to by my married name.  Professionally and legally I will still have my maiden name.

    May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations

    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • URIbride2013URIbride2013
    10 Comments
    member
    edited November 2012
    In Response to Re:Name change professional vs. personal?:In Response to Re: Name change professional vs. personal?:Thanks for the input! nbsp;Sorry I wasn't entirely clear I was thinking of changing my name legally to his, but using my maiden name profesionally, not keeping my name legally and using his socially. nbsp;But I suppose you're right that it's probably not possible to do that and would be much easier the other way around. In general, I'm pretty torn about the whole name change issue, and I want to have my cake and eat it too! nbsp;Sadly that's usually not possible . . . and I don't think I'll find an ideal solution in this case. nbsp;But I think you all have very helpful input I really appreciate it!Posted by elpluteI'm pretty sure you can't do this. nbsp;I'm not changing my name, but socially I will be referred to by my married name. nbsp;Professionally and legally I will still have my maiden name. Posted by melb2013 I'm an MS4 and you definitely can't do this your legal name is what you practice under, it's what your medical license will say. I'm hyphenating maidengroom so my name can be shortened professionally. I'll be called dr. maiden but sign dr. maidengroom and be mrs. Groom for short socially. That was the best compromise I could come up with! ETA for clarity! Apparently posting from my phone removed my punctuation.
  • In Response to Name change - professional vs. personal?:
    Anyone here use their maiden name professionally, and their husband's name socially? 
    Posted by elplute
    I use my maiden name professionally and socially go by my husband's name.  I didn't change one blessed document, but answer to Dr. MyLastName, Ms. MyLastName and Mrs. HisLastName.  They are are all my name but I kept my original name for all legal documents.  Just easier!
  • In Response to Re:Name change professional vs. personal?:
    In Response to Re:Name change professional vs. personal?: I'm an MS4 and you definitely can't do this your legal name is what you practice under, it's what your medical license will say. I'm hyphenating maidengroom so my name can be shortened professionally ie be called dr. maiden but sign dr. maidengroom and mrs. Groom for short socially that was the best compromise I could come up with!
    Posted by URIbride2013
    Ohhh, interesting!  I haven't heard of this before :)  Unfortunately my name and his sound pretty awful together . . . but I do like the idea!
  • As PP's said you can go by a name socially without changing it legally.  You can't go by a name professionally unless you change it.  If you want to go by your maiden name professionally, then you have to keep it your legal name. 

    I know that there a million reasons to keep your name or change it.  It is a very personal choice to make.  Good luck finishing med school!
  • Legally I added DH's name to my name.  So now I have 2 last names.  As time goes on socially I just use his name.  It's easier.

    I would recommend not changing your name, but not caring how people call you socially.  

    FWIW  - I know a  lot of prominent women who didn't change their name.  Most (almost all actually) of them don't care if people call them Mrs Hislastname socially.  On the same note most of their husbands are called Mr Herlastname at some point and they don't care either.
    image
  • mj8215mj8215
    10 Comments
    member
    edited November 2012
    Debating the same questions. I'm an MD PhD and have published a bunch of papers under my current name... On the other hand, I really would like to take my fianc's last name, I love the idea of us being the hisname family.. I'd love to keep mine and add his name without hyphenating and just go by either depending on the setting.... Is that at all possible?? Lynda is that your situation?
  • My maiden name is on my law degree and bar admission certificate so I don't want to lose it (plus, I really love my maiden name!) so I am going to take his last name and make my maiden name my middle name. That way I still have both but don't have a ridiculously long last name like if I hyphenated and will have the same last name as our children. Plus, we've discussed possibly giving one of our children my last name as their middle name too.
    image Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I did the same thing- legally changed my name to mylastname-hislastname, professionally I go by my last name for short, but on publications/signed documents I list the full hypenated name. Socially, I go by his last name. Its just on tax documents/contracts/etc I sign both last names. I think the easiest is to change your middle name to your maiden name, but I didnt want to lose my middle name (some states, not mine, do let you have two middle names though,so that may be an option too). But I know for my license I have to practice under my legal name, however my patients, etc just call me by my maiden last name in work situations.
  • I guess I'm having a hard time understanding why you'd even want to do this.  I know a lot of women who kept their last names; many for personal reasons - but it sounds like personally you WANT to change your name and it's professionally that you don't.  All the women I know who kept their maiden for professional reasons it was because everything (like their MD) was already in their maiden name and/or they had built a career and reputation and didn't want to lose that.  You're in the perfect position to change it without losing anything professionally since you don't actually have your MD yet.  I'm sure your school has dealt with changing a name before and won't lose your test scores in the process.  So if personally you want to change it and professionally there's nothing lost then why confuse things with two names?

    But like PPs have said if you DO want to practice under your maiden name and socially go by your husband's then the way to do that is to not change anything at all. 

    For what it's worth I went the First Maiden Married route and dropped my middle name.  It eased the transition; as for a while I just used all three names.  I changed my name on my professional certification accordingly (I'm still a year from being able to get my final professional license) - I just mailed in a form and a copy of our marriage license. 
  • In Response to Re: Name change - professional vs. personal?:
    I guess I'm having a hard time understanding why you'd even want to do this.  I know a lot of women who kept their last names; many for personal reasons - but it sounds like personally you WANT to change your name and it's professionally that you don't.  All the women I know who kept their maiden for professional reasons it was because everything (like their MD) was already in their maiden name and/or they had built a career and reputation and didn't want to lose that. 
    Posted by Kate61487
    My oooooonly hestiation to this line of thinking is the future.  I went to graduate school with a good friend who published all under Haley HisLastName.  Her whole career was her married name.  They got divorced.  Now, to continue her career, she has to carry his last name with her even though she's married to someone else now.  What a dang mess. 

    If you work in a profession where last names can't easily be changed, I'm really an advocate for using your maiden name.
  • In Response to Re:Name change professional vs. personal?:
    Debating the same questions. I'm an MD PhD and have published a bunch of papers under my current name... On the other hand, I really would like to take my fianc's last name, I love the idea of us being the hisname family.. I'd love to keep mine and add his name without hyphenating and just go by either depending on the setting.... Is that at all possible?? Lynda is that your situation?
    Posted by Janka718
    I found having 2 last names without a hyphen to be on big PITA.  There are a ton of computer systems who do not recognize a space in a last name.   All the airlines for example do not.  So my name is all smashed together.  I can not scan my passport or a credit card to pull up my reservations because they may have a space, but since the airline doesn't they can't find my name. 

    I also fine some places think the first part is my middle name, so they put me under my husbands name.  Others will drop my husbands name.   

    While it's all just annoyances and not real problems, it's  so inconsistent I wish i  had made a different choice.


    image
  • I did what you are saying and it has been fine (though a tad schizophrenic in the beginning).

    I am a journalist who had built up a good reputation with sources etc. for more than a decade. I met and married a bit later in life and wanted my husband's name but also wanted to continue using my maiden name for writing and reporting so that people would know who was calling and quoting them etc.

    I changed my name legally and use that for all the bills etc. Also use it for internal paperwork at my work. But I write under my maiden name and that's how my sources know me.
  • kaos16kaos16
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited November 2012
    In my office there are many woman who use their maiden name at work, and married name everywhere else.  Legally, their name is their husband's.  This is what I am doing as well.  I am in the process of changing all of my important , outside work, documents over to change my last name to DH's legally, but I will leave my registration with the bar, and all of my certificates, diplomas, etc. as my maiden name. 
  • In Response to Re:Name change professional vs. personal?:

    I'll be called dr. maiden but sign dr. maidengroom and be mrs. Groom for short socially. That was the best compromise I could come up with!  

    - I like the idea of this.  I too am trying to figure it all out getting married before I finish my Ph. D. but already published.  A slight difference, I want to change it to GroomMaiden.  Do you know if that works?  

    I want to be called dr. Maiden, sign GroomMaiden and be Mrs Groom.  My last name is quite silly if you hyphen it before anything.  I guess this means that I would more or less be changing my middle name.  

    Anyone have an input on the legality/formality of this?

    Thanks

  • Have any of you even considered keeping your name and having your fiance take your last name? 

    I'm a PhD and had published under my name and LOVE my name. My fiance had the choice to keep his own or take mine, but I wasn't going to change (both for professional and name-awesome reasons). He was thrilled to take mine.

    It's not for everyone, but particularly in cases with a professionally titled woman, I think it should be on the table.
  • If you go by his name socially, you can change your last name on facebook, be introduced as "John and Jessica Brown," and sending and receiving mail under his last name. Then you'd legally keep your last name and use that to practice.

    This is assuming your FB is social and not professional and that your personal and professional lives don't constantly overlap.

    I just kept my last name fully, but I still get people who call me by my husband's last name. NBD.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
  • I am also a physician.  So all of my licenses, diplomas, etc are under my maiden name.  I just got married in Sept, so I am new at this too.

    Since I have been in practice for alost 10 years, my patients know me as Dr. Maidenname.

    I have changed with the SS and hyphenated mine and his. 

    I still need to find out if my licenses need to reflect the hyphenated name or not. 
  • edited November 2012
    In Response to Re:Name change professional vs. personal?:
    Debating the same questions. I'm an MD PhD and have published a bunch of papers under my current name... On the other hand, I really would like to take my fianc's last name, I love the idea of us being the hisname family.. I'd love to keep mine and add his name without hyphenating and just go by either depending on the setting.... Is that at all possible?? Lynda is that your situation?
    Posted by Janka718
    This was my rationale for not changing my name when I get married next year - I'm midway through surgery residency and already have papers and book chapters under my maiden name, as well as my medical degree and licenses in two states.  Though I'm sure I could legally change my name it just seemed like too big a hassle.  Also, I don't know if this is the case for you OP, but my FI is also a doctor and there's a chance that at some point we could end up working in the same hospital.  If we end up referring patients to each other, etc, I was more comfortable having different last names so not everyone knew right off the bat we were married.

    Socially, it doesn't matter to me what I get called.  We also agreed that any future kids would have just his last name (no hyphenates) - probably important to discuss ahead of time.  I did leave the door open to perhaps doing a change down the road when we have kids.....I may feel different about it eventually but for now I'm staying with my maiden name.
  • i personally have never understood going by two different names.  i say you either keep your maiden or take your husbands and just go by one name.  it confuses people, IMO, when they dont know what name to call you when you use X in some situations and Y in others.

  • In Response to Re: Name change - professional vs. personal?:
    In my office there are many woman who use their maiden name at work, and married name everywhere else.  Legally, their name is their husband's.  This is what I am doing as well.  I am in the process of changing all of my important , outside work, documents over to change my last name to DH's legally, but I will leave my registration with the bar, and all of my certificates, diplomas, etc. as my maiden name. 
    Posted by kaos16
    Is this approved by the bar?  I would think they want your law license in your legal name.  I'm going to have to check in my state.... this is a big decision for me, too!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Name change - professional vs. personal?:
    Anyone here use their maiden name professionally, and their husband's name socially?  How did you manage this? I'm halfway through medical school and am obviously registered at my school under my maiden name.  All my official standardized test scores (Step 1) are in my name as well.  I'd like to practice under my maiden name if I can, and know several doctors who do this.  BUT -- all of them got married during or after their residency, when they were already MDs! I'm not sure if it would be too complicated to wait until I finish medical school and THEN change my name, so that my MD will be in my maiden name, or if this will just be too complicated and I need to decide once and for all if I'm going to keep or change my name. Has anyone been in a similar situation?  Any suggestions?
    Posted by elplute
    I would just keep your name. I kept mine and I feel like it was just 1000 times easier not to have to deal with changing it.  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • lauralynn83lauralynn83
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    member
    edited November 2012
    In Response to Name change - professional vs. personal?:
    Anyone here use their maiden name professionally, and their husband's name socially?  How did you manage this? I'm halfway through medical school and am obviously registered at my school under my maiden name.  All my official standardized test scores (Step 1) are in my name as well.  I'd like to practice under my maiden name if I can, and know several doctors who do this.  BUT -- all of them got married during or after their residency, when they were already MDs! I'm not sure if it would be too complicated to wait until I finish medical school and THEN change my name, so that my MD will be in my maiden name, or if this will just be too complicated and I need to decide once and for all if I'm going to keep or change my name. Has anyone been in a similar situation?  Any suggestions?
    Posted by elplute
    In most states you can add the new last name to the old one and use either or both...totally up to you, but check out what the laws are for your state to be sure. Or you can always wait to do the name change until after you finish school...just another option



  • I'm a resident and will be getting married right after I finish in 2014. I'm planning on changing my name which will be right before I start a real job, but my med school and residency diplomas will have my maiden name. The only complicating issue is that I'll have to apply for a medical license with my maiden name (I'll need to do this before the wedding in order to start my job on time), then change it to my married name practically right after I get it. Oh well.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Re: Name change - professional vs. personal?:
    In Response to Re: Name change - professional vs. personal? : Is this approved by the bar?  I would think they want your law license in your legal name.  I'm going to have to check in my state.... this is a big decision for me, too!
    Posted by nextrightthing
    It is approved by the bar.  I guess technically it's Mrs. married name DBA Ms. Maiden name.  In my line of work it can also become a safety aspect when I have children.. . . . they will have the same last name as my husband and I outside of work. . . . .therefore it will be more difficult to connect them to my work name.  (we aren't always the most liked people around, lol)
  • My husband adopted our daughter after she started college. She changed her name legally at that time.  It ended up being a mess with the college.  Finally we have it fixed but it took 6 months before it was done right and all her credits were back in place.  Now was it the person that was fixing it?  No idea but it was a hassle.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards