Etiquette

NWR but Etiquette story I had to share

I recently got a baby shower invitation from my first cousin in Ohio. We're friends on Facebook but she doesn't use it much. I DIDN"T KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT. 

It felt way too gift grabby to me, to announce a pregnancy like that. She's due in March btw.

Re: NWR but Etiquette story I had to share

  • Maybe she figured you heard in through the grapevine. I'm not super close with every one of my first cousins i still I'm still inviting them to the wedding. Just decline and be done with it
  • It's not that weird. If you think it's a gift grab, don't go.
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  • If you don't want to go and don't want to give a gift, then don't.  I don't think it's gift grabby, though.  I agree with PP that she probably thought you would have heard it from others in your family by now.  She's probably announced the pregancy to the people she's close to, and there's no rule that she has to do a FB announcement.

  • edited January 2013
    I don't think it's rude, but you are not obligated to attend. Pregnancy can be a really private thing for people. We didn't even tell our parents until 12 weeks. We announced on Facebook so that people would know, in case the "grapevine" didn't work, but a Facebook announcement is not required. Announcing is a really personal decision, and I wouldn't take offense to it. ETA: wonky TK mobile grammar.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    In Response to Re: NWR but Etiquette story I had to share:
    If you don't want to go and don't want to give a gift, then don't.  I don't think it's gift grabby, though.  I agree with PP that she probably thought you would have heard it from others in your family by now.  She's probably announced the pregancy to the people she's close to, and there's no rule that she has to do a FB announcement.
    Posted by jessicabessica
    This.

    Don't jump directly to the conclusion of gift grabby.  She most likely already thought you knew about her pregnancy seeing as she is about 7.5-8 months along at this point.

  • I'm with everyone above.  It's your first cousin - not a distant relative.  And kudos to your cousin for NOT annoucing the pregnancy on FB.  I feel like some people can put TMI on there (both for weddings and babies).
  • I put NOTHING on facebook.  I've been engaged for over 1.5 years, and I've never put it on facebook, and anyone who doesn't know me very well and sees me frequently would have no idea I was engaged.  Just because it's not on facebook doesn't mean that sending you a baby shower invite is at ALL against etiquette, and it certainly doesn't sound like a gift grab to me.  She's including you because you're FAMILY.  If this were a wedding invitation, would you feel the same?
  • In Response to Re: NWR but Etiquette story I had to share:
    I put NOTHING on facebook.  I've been engaged for over 1.5 years, and I've never put it on facebook, and anyone who doesn't know me very well and sees me frequently would have no idea I was engaged.  Just because it's not on facebook doesn't mean that sending you a baby shower invite is at ALL against etiquette, and it certainly doesn't sound like a gift grab to me.  She's including you because you're FAMILY.  If this were a wedding invitation, would you feel the same?
    Posted by freebread03

    As a matter of fact, I would be offended if I heard she was getting married, by receiving a wedding invitation. 

    To other posters, I declined because it's a 12 hour trip I couldn't make in such short notice. 

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