How to say thank you without offending...

mldelacerda79

My mom believes that per tradition the brides family pays the majority of the wedding. So she has stepped up and paid for almost everything. My mom has even offered to pay for the Rehearsal dinner but we are going to pay for that. How do we politely thank my mom for everything that she has done without offending my fiancés parents. We understand that they are in no way obligated to help us with our wedding and we are not upset. At the same time we don't want my mom to feel like she isn't appreciated. Help please.

dumdumfroggie

Give her a gift at the RD.  Don't make a huge presentation out of it, however.

You can also have her as the host on the invitations.

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-say-thank-you-without-offending?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb5330ed-1549-449b-9bb2-83e9e167059fPost:840824a4-8802-408c-923b-91d54cb2f158">Re: How to say thank you without offending...</a>:
[QUOTE]Give her a gift at the RD.  Don't make a huge presentation out of it, however. You can also have her as the host on the invitations.
Posted by dumdumfroggie[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this.  Along with the gift, you can also write a nice, heartfelt note in a card that they can read privately.</div>

Kate61487

Unless you make a huge announcement and really gush about it I don't think your ILs will be offended.  I'd write them a nice thank you note and give them that with a gift at the RD.

If you're planning a groom/couples speech at the wedding I'd probably make sure to also mention your ILs.  You could say something like "We want to thank Mr & Mrs BridesParents for all of their support and for their help putting together this beautiful day, we're so grateful to you for helping us celebrate..... We also want to thank Mr & Mrs InLaws for supporting us and making Groom the man he is today"  or something like that.

FTR - H's BM mentioned my parents in his speech for hosting.  It was a very brief little interjection (like "I'd like to start by thanking Mr & Mrs Smith for having us here and hosting this beautiful reception." and then on with the rest of the speech) I don't think MIL was offended at all, he didn't make a big deal of it, it just was what it was.

mbody

You can always give your parents their gift in private. Or it doesn't have to be a complicated thing. But, do you think they'd actually be offended by you giving them a gift?

Personally, I plan on thanking my parents at the R.D. They paid for the entire wedding and I don't see why giving them a gift would offend my FI's parents. I mean, it is what it is, and if they're offended by that, then it's on them. (We're also going to give FI's parents something too though.)

pokepoke27

Why would your FILs be offended by you thanking your parents? You don't need to do it infront of them.

If it were me I would take my parents out to dinner with my FI and give them a small gift and heartfelt note. But I love going to dinner : p