Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rehersal Dinner without the rehersal?

The venue that we're having our wedding at does the rehersal the day of the wedding. They simply do a quick run through. Therefore, we won't be having a "typical" rehersal dinner. We were still planning on having a dinner the night before. However, our wedding party is a pretty good size with 7 attendants on each side, a flower girl and a ring bearer. My fiance and I are hosting, so we're worried about it getting too large. Who all do we need to invite since there won't be a rehersal beforehand? My FI mom wanted to include more people since almost all of our guests are OOT. Any suggestions on who all to invite and what to do for the dinner?

Re: Rehersal Dinner without the rehersal?

  • It's perfectly fine to have a rehearsal dinner without a rehearsal, although it's not required and you should probably just call it a dinner.  It's considered nice if you're able to accomodate OOT guests at this kind of thing, but it's by no means required.  If your budget doesn't allow for inclusion of OOT guests, it's not a big deal, you can keep it to immediate family (parents/siblings/granparents) and wedding party.  As for what to do for dinner, the short answer is anything you want.  Something as simple as pizza and beer is perfectly acceptable, but of course you could do something more elaborate if you wanted to/can afford to.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2012
    I suggest having a welcome reception.   Light snacks and some drinks.   

     100% of our guests were OOT also.  It was great being able to see everyone the night before.  Really took the pressure off the next day seeing everyone.  We still did table visits, but I didn't feel bad only spending a few minutes with them, since I spent time with them the day before.

    Not sure if you have a house big enough, but we did ours at the beach rental.  We got some food from a local deli and alcohol from the liquor store.   It wasn't too expensive doing it that way. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I think that if such a large portion of your guests are from OOT then I think you should do something similar to what Lynda suggested. Invite guests to a house and just relax. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehersal-dinner-without-the-rehersal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1105d77-4379-4741-bef1-9a91c3254d6bPost:f285214e-a839-4871-b652-d796e2aab254">Re: Rehersal Dinner without the rehersal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We also had a non-rehearsal rehearsal dinner.  We invited WP with SO's, immediate family, and family that had traveled from OOT.  We didn't invite non-family who had traveled from OOT.  We had ours in a private room at a local italian restaurant.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    This is what we plan on doing
  • My sister did this for her wedding, just with the WP and parents/grandparents/siblings.  My family is rather large and mostly OOT, but I have one aunt who's in the same area, so she hosted the other OOT family.  It was just a nice lunch at a good local restaurant.
  • We're doing a non-rehearsal dinner. We're only inviting bridal party, imediate family, and my Aunts, Uncles, and FIrst cousins. I asked FMIL if she wanted to invite FI's Aunts and Uncles but she said no. I originally was going to include OOT people as well but since its half our guest list it got to expensive. I would have taken out the AUnts/Uncles/Cousins too but my Uncle is the one who is hosting.

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  • non-traditional rehearsal dinner being done here, also :) We had to do it to accommodate FMIL's work schedule and she is also making our wedding cake the day before our wedding so that entails alot of time. We are having dinner the saturday before our wedding, at my FMIL's house, and she's doing BBQ style food....inviting wedding party, their SO, and immediate family of myself and FI.
    This way of doing the dinner eliminated OOT guests and saved on expense for my FMIL who almost couldn't host due to cost :) Its non-traditional, but at the same time it helps free of the evening the night before the wedding to get other things done!
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