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Etiquette

Divorced parents/ walking down the aisle and dances

Alright so like a fair amount of people my parents are divorced.  They separated probably when I close to 5 I have no memories of them ever being together.  My mom has been with my stepdad now for about 20 years.  So as far as I can remember both my dads have always been in my life.  I was wondering does anyone think it is rude if I have both of them walk me down the aisle and have both of them have a private dance with me.  My stepdad only had a son in a former relationship and was obviously a big part of my life because I grew up with him and he considers me his daughter. Thanks for any advice
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Re: Divorced parents/ walking down the aisle and dances

  • auriannaaurianna
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited June 2012
    Lots of people have two people escort them down the aisle.
    I think if you have two father figures than it makes sense to want both to escort you down the aisle. The ony thing would be take care to take biological dad's feelings into account. Do you think he'd feel slighted if step-dad also participated? If the answer is clearly no, and they're cool with it, I think etiquette is cool with it. (if you don't think he'd be ok with it, then that's a decision you'll need to make on your own. Unfortunately you're on your own for that one).

    As for the private dances... I don't know. I considered having a private dance with my step-father, but in the end we opted for a more casual one. If you aren't doing a wedding party dance and a dollar dance and lots of other "special dances" that's probably cool. Too many "special dances" gets excessive though.
  • I think your ideas are great. I would be careful about the length of the dances, but otherwise I say go for it.
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  • I was thinking it is okay.  My dad is okay with it all.  He says all the time that my stepdad really did a good job raising us with my dad not being there all time.  I just do not want to hurt anyones feelings.  Like there are people who never knew my stepdad wasnt my dad because of how long they have known my mom and him until they realized I didnt call him dad.  But Thanks guys I just hope it runs smoothly when everything happens!
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  • I think having 2 people walk you down the aisle, no matter which two, is a very sweet way of signifying who the important ones in your life are!

    In regards to the dance, would you consider having one cut in?  Of course, it wouldn't be a surprise, both of them would know ahead of time, but that may be a way to have the best of both worlds and still be mindful of the time and your guests' attention span.
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  • I am battling this issue as well.  My parent's have been divorced since I was a baby and my step-dad has been as much as a father to me as my biological father.  Problem is, my biological father would take HUGE offense if I decided to have a dance with both of them.  My sister was married 4 years ago and had both Dad's walk her down the aisle, and my biological Dad was hurt (she did not have dancing at her reception, thus avoided this issue).  I think I have pretty much decided I will walk down the aisle by myself (since the tradition is old and masochistic anyway).  At the reception, I don't want to have a dance with my Dad but not with my step-dad, yet can't do that without hurting my Dad.  I feel like the only solution would be to not have the special dances at all.  It's always been my favorite part of weddings and I don't want my fiance to miss out on a dance with his Mom, but I feel like it's the only choice.  Thoughts on no special dances with parents??
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