Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE)

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:c103135d-d56f-4f78-a9c7-7df590b89a20">Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE :  I'm not so much trying to tell the OP to wait as I am trying to get her to think about the strength of her claim.  Sure, she can call the police and say she thinks her cousin is sexually abusing her dog, but I don't know how much that will accomplish if she can't name any instances of it happening or she doesn't have anyone else to testify the same.  Marrying a dog does not = having sex with the dog. <strong> When my brother was very little, he made some comment that an adult decided to report to the school</strong>.  It was a harmless comment, but he had to go through therapy and all this other stuff to prove that he wasn't being sexually abused at home, and my parents had to spend a lot of money and go through a lot of heartache to prove that nothing was happening at home.  All for just one sentence he heard from a movie or something.  It was one of the worst things my parents went through.  We need to treat these matters seriously, and that means doing more than just having a knee-jerk reaction. I'm glad OP is going to get more information.
Posted by ladyomnipotent[/QUOTE]
Was it a school employee? 
Most states require by law that they report comments/suspicions to the school.<div>
</div><div>This is way different than the situation you are presenting IMO. Since, no one will stand up for the dog, and "it" has no way of communicating what is going on.</div>

ladyomnipotent

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:8a51a1c8-37e4-42ad-9c1f-445bd116e032">Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't really care if you have remained civil, lady. I think your ideas are ridiculous and you can take your ball and go home.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]
I'll take my ball home when I'm done on this court. 

Asking for someone to think of evidence before making a criminal complaint is ridiculous?  This is real life, not TV.  The authorities don't have the power that you think they do.  I want her to have the best chance that she can to help this dog and her cousin. 

StephBeanWed61502

LadyO, I think what happened with your brother is EXACTLY how situations involving possible abuse should play out. I am not particularly troubled by your parents' "heartache." Your brother indicated he was being abused and, whether he was or not, his statement indicated that he needed help and he got it. I am sorry you can't understand why that's a good thing.

musicalsunlight

In Response to Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE:I don't really care if you have remained civil, lady. I think your ideas are ridiculous and you can take your ball and go home.Posted by musicalsunlightI'll take my ball home when I'm done on this court.nbsp; Asking fornbsp;someone to think of evidencenbsp;before making a criminal complaint is ridiculous?nbsp;nbsp;This is real life, not TV.nbsp; Thenbsp;authorities don't have the power that you think they do.nbsp;nbsp;I want her to have the best chance that she can to help this dog and her cousin.nbsp; Posted by ladyomnipotent[/QUOTE]

Oh well aren't you snappy with your comebacks.

I'm well aware with what authorities can and cannot do, thanks. I just think that waiting is probably the dumbest thing to advise right now just because she doesn't have evidence of walking in on her cousin being banged by a dog.

ahhhitsshannyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:d7c3c7f4-cded-4913-a27f-094e043e7f5e">Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE</a>:
[QUOTE]LadyO, I think what happened with your brother is EXACTLY how situations involving possible abuse should play out.<strong> I am not particularly troubled by your parents' "heartache." Your brother indicated he was being abused and, whether he was or not, his statement indicated that he needed help and he got it</strong>. I am sorry you can't understand why that's a good thing.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with this. I would be much more troubled if an adult did NOT report a child saying stuff that would make it seem like he was being abused.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:1cf12a37-b016-4353-9e73-13ba136954cb">Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]I wonder what comment LadyO's brother made that warranted being investigated. I'm sure it was something stronger than "I've seen boobs."
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]
I know someone who got investigated a few years ago because her husband had oral surgery and was on Vicodin, and their son was talking to kids in class about "Daddy taking drugs."

ahhhitsshannyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:1cf12a37-b016-4353-9e73-13ba136954cb">Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]I wonder what comment LadyO's brother made that warranted being investigated. I'm sure it was something stronger than "I've seen boobs."
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

I was thinking this too. I don't think that the parents/brother would have to go through therapy and stuff for something benign. And if it wasn't benign, then the authorities were 100% justified in their actions against ladyo's parents. Too bad she cant see that.

ladyomnipotent

The reason I mentioned the story with my brother is because StephBean asked me if I felt the same way about child abuse claims.  To answer the other question, no, it was not a school employee who reported the comment.

I agree that it's better to err on the side of caution.  Unfortunately, animal abuse claims aren't treated with nearly the same speed and seriousness as others.  That's why I'm urging the OP to have a strong claim.  It will make the difference between someone knocking on the door and walking away, and someone actually examining the dog.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE:[QUOTE]The reason I mentioned the story with my brother is because StephBean asked me if I felt the same way about child abuse claims.nbsp; To answer the other question, no, it was not a school employee who reported the comment.I agree that it's better to err on the side of caution.nbsp; Unfortunately, animal abuse claims aren't treated with nearly the same speed and seriousness as others.nbsp; That's why I'm urging the OP to have a strong claim.nbsp; It will make the difference between someone knocking on the door and walking away, and someone actually examining the dog. Posted by ladyomnipotent[/QUOTE]

So to be clear, in your worldview, people shouldn't report the suspected abuse of animals OR children unless they have sufficient "evidence"? Is your other name Joe, by any chance?

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:679c08a3-bd06-469d-b3ff-51a669faa336">Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE) : Yeesh. But that would take like ... 2 second to clear up, right?
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]
You'd think.  Unfortunately the husband is an asshole and a reformed alcoholic, so DCF got involved and it was a real mess.  They did get cleared, but it was rough for awhile.

ETA since I forgot you can't say "former" alcoholic.  He doesn't drink anymore.  That's what I meant.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:9e6afaeb-e93e-4d5e-af2e-e42b61e39d4d">Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]The reason I mentioned the story with my brother is because StephBean asked me if I felt the same way about child abuse claims.  To answer the other question, no, it was not a school employee who reported the comment. I agree that it's better to err on the side of caution.  Unfortunately, animal abuse claims aren't treated with nearly the same speed and seriousness as others.  That's why I'm urging the OP to have a strong claim.  It will make the difference between someone knocking on the door and walking away, and someone actually examining the dog.
Posted by ladyomnipotent[/QUOTE]

<div>If it's better to err on the side on caution, why aren't you happy that the person cared enough about your bro to report it?</div>

willywally5

I am so ooged out by this. 

Seriously, OP, call the cousin; call the authorities and call the family. And FFS, don't go to this 'wedding.' The whole deal is nuttier than squirrel shiiiit. 

ahhhitsshannyn

If you say "it's better to err on the side of caution" then the best answer would be to report it now. "I heard my cousin is having a sexual relationship with her dog" is a pretty strong fucking claim I think, and the ONLY way that it will be investigated is IF SHE REPORTS IT. The authorities can never know unless there is someone out there who gives enough of a shiiiit to follow through.

pokepoke27

You guys are cracking me up today between the Steffi post and this one. 

OP - I seriously hope that this is not true. I hope the poor dog is not being abused and that the worst that is happening is that your crazy pants cousin is entering a celibate marriage with this dog. You've received excellent advice here. 

LadyO and Helleb - you're fighting a losing battle. 

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Even if there are no sexual things going on with the damn dog, um, pretty sure cousin is off her ass and needs some mental treatment.  People in their right mind do not make legit wedding arrangements to an animal.  A call to SOMEBODY is in order, here.

musicalsunlight

Uh yeah poke I wouldn't call a celibate marriage ok either, it still indicates something wrong with the girls head. I mean, I love my dogs to the end and back. But I love them like they are my children, NOT because they make me horny. Fuckno.

ahhhitsshannyn

Tell the cousin to watch Mr. Hands. That will scare her off of beastiality for good.

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:50da24ad-214d-49e2-a53a-7fae65830eeb">Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]Even if there are no sexual things going on with the damn dog, um, pretty sure cousin is off her ass and needs some mental treatment.  People in their right mind do not make legit wedding arrangements to an animal.   A call to SOMEBODY is in order, here.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, I totally agree. I was just saying that I hope that there is no sexual abuse going on for the sake of the dog. There probably is and that's sad and disgusting. Either way, the dog should be taken away and the cousin needs professional help. </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

ahhhitsshannyn

A marriage to a dog is not okay, sex or not.

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:58ed604d-d535-4c76-bca2-4290d90637c9">Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Uh yeah poke I wouldn't call a celibate marriage ok either, it still indicates something wrong with the girls head. </strong> I mean, I love my dogs to the end and back. But I love them like they are my children, NOT because they make me horny. Fuckno.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

<div>I know, I should have made that more clear in my post. The only reason I hope it's a celibate marriage is because it means that the dog isn't being abused. The cousin still needs major help. </div>

button6004

I go to a meeting and I come back to this crazy talk.  OP, you need to report this.  Anyone who thinks this isnt a problem needs to get their heads checked, too.

It's like when I ride the Metro. There's a little PSA that says if you see something, say something.  OP, its time to say something.

ahhhitsshannyn

Yeah, normal people don't say stuff like that Rach. That's fucking weird and creepy.

musicalsunlight

Omg ranchers that is so creepy. And mr hands dear god no.

pokepoke27

Rach - I would have thrown a fist in her face. What a messed up thing to say. 

ladyomnipotent

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:29efd510-0057-481a-a145-8fe1675461ae">Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE) : If it's better to err on the side on caution, why aren't you happy that the person cared enough about your bro to report it?
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
Because I don't see the world as black and white, with one response being correct in every situation, for every person, every time.  That's why StephBean's description of my worldview is incorrect.  I won't go any further than that.

I offered up a personal example to illustrate a viewpoint I was expressing.  I'm upset that this has led to people making negative assumptions about me and my family.  I'm also upset people have hurled curses and insults at me, as if I was rooting for her cousin to rape the dog.  I try to be measured in my responses, but some folks really just let their emotions run wild.

button6004

Also, to the people who dont think she should report this to authorities- the best help that can provided is for the dog in question to be removed from the home.  And to whichever crazyface referred to the dog as this woman's FI- seriously, you are off your rocker.

Girlie1030

Please listen to Janeane:


You can love your pets, just don't love your pets. 

If the crazy is this bad now, Thursday's going to be interesting. 

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to Re:Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Strange and cryptic question sorry for the AE:In Response to Re: Strange and cryptic quesition sorry for the AE : If it's better to err on the side on caution, why aren't you happy that the person cared enough about your bro to report it?Posted by Megbo2012Because I don't see the world as black and white, with one response being correct in every situation, for every person, every time.nbsp; That's why StephBean's description of my worldview is incorrect.nbsp; I won't go any further than that.I offered up a personal example to illustrate a viewpoint I was expressing.nbsp; I'm upset that this has led to people making negative assumptions about me and my family.nbsp; I'm also upset people have hurled curses and insults at me, as if I was rooting for her cousin to rape the dog.nbsp; I try to be measured in my responses, but some folks really just let their emotions run wild. Posted by ladyomnipotent[/QUOTE]

Perhaps some folks "let their emotions run wild" because some folks are deeply disturbed by the possible sexual abuse of animals?

ZombieNates

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_strange-and-cryptic-question-sorry-for-the-ae?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eff5f159-869b-4f34-bfc6-543b887aa44aPost:18c33da3-c533-4f63-87b0-18bd64d25004">Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Strange and cryptic question (sorry for the AE) : Because I don't see the world as black and white, with one response being correct in every situation, for every person, every time.  That's why StephBean's description of my worldview is incorrect.  I won't go any further than that. I offered up a personal example to illustrate a viewpoint I was expressing.  I'm upset that this has led to people making negative assumptions about me and my family. <strong> I'm also upset people have hurled curses and insults at me, as if I was rooting for her cousin to rape the dog.</strong>  I try to be measured in my responses, but some folks really just let their emotions run wild.
Posted by ladyomnipotent[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry, but this made me laugh.

Rach--that is gross. I would be freaked out by that.

I don't know what Mr. Hands is.

Snippylynn

BIZZARE.