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Obligated to invite someone who wants to throw a shower?

One of my former dance students, whom I've known since I was in high school but am not close to at all (as in, we've never hung out socially -- ever), sent me a private FB message when she found out we were engaged. She wanted to congratulate us, and she offered to throw me a shower or host a party for us or something. (No, I have never spoken about my wedding plans on FB.) Since then, she has been texting me and posting on my wall about random things, just being friendly. She even called me this morning to ask for vet advice from FI, apologetically, though she told me that I'd have to get used to it, because she, as a chiropractor, has people ask her opinion all the time. Then she asked to hang out sometime. Okay, that's fine.

However, I was not planning to invite her to our wedding next June, because she is random compared to the other guests we're inviting (college friends, roommates, teammates, family, etc.). Her offer to throw a shower is a little out of the blue (and unnecessary, as my best friend and her mom have generously offered to throw me a shower). I kind of said to my old student, "Oh, thanks for your offer! It's a little soon to be thinking about that right now, but I really appreciate it." I hope that was okay.

What do I tell her as the wedding comes up? Should I just plan to invite her to the shower and to the wedding so that I don't hurt her feelings? We have room on the guest lists and in the budget. I would have to give her a +1, because she won't know anyone.

Edited for clarity, because verb tenses are tricksy

Re: Obligated to invite someone who wants to throw a shower?

  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think your response was perfectly fine.  Hopefully she will drop the subject now.  I think if she brings it up again later, you can thank her again but let her know your family already has something planned and decline gracefully.  She'll get the hint hopefully when she doesn't receive an invitation.  Sounds to me like she's fishing for one.
  • Next June? Give it time, maybe she will be your bff by then. It is a year away. :
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  • You handled it perfectly!  Hopefully with time her enthusiam will wane a bit and she won't push as much.


  • In Response to Re:Obligated to invite someone who wants to throw a shower?:
    Next June? Give it time, maybe she will be your bff by then. It is a year away. :
    Posted by nextrightthing
    That's kind of what I'm thinking. I willing to keep an open mind.
  • That said, though, if you guys don't get closer and she wants to throw a shower, I would politely decline unless you want to invite her to the wedding.  She may just be excited because she loves wedding planning.
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