order of speeches at the wedding

marisas316

Hi everyone,

  I need help with the order of our bridal party speeches.  We have 2 best men, a matron of honor and my father may want to give a speech.  What is the order?

and when do you usually start the speeches?

Thanks!!

Kristin789

There are no speeches.

The reception begins with the host (your father) giving a toast, thanking everyone for coming.

Then the best man leads the guests in a toast to the newly-married couple.  In your case, I would see if just one of the two best men wants to give a toast and one does not, instead of doing TWO best man - type toasts.

And I've only been to maybe two weddings out of MANY that has had a toast from the MOH.  But you could.

LeiselEB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_order-of-speeches-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fde674da-0247-48f1-a367-088bf48e9806Post:eb45acbb-1573-4173-acf7-148fe4e13857">Re: order of speeches at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]As Kristin said (can't believe I'm agreeing) they really aren't speeches, they are toasts to the B&G. And they are completely optional for the person to give. Traditionally, the evening started with a toast from the father.  That can or doesn't have to happen anymore.  I think I usually see toasts during the first (salad) course.  At my sister's wedding, only myself and the BM did toasts.  I think we were done in under 5-6 minutes.  So we started after we ate a bit of the salad and then were done by the time we were ready for the meal. Toasts are usually earlier on in the evening (rather than 3 hours into the reception).  I think as long as all the toasting happens before the meal is served, you're fine. <strong>Just as an FYI, I would probably stand up and leave (to the bathroom, to the bar) if there were going to be  toasts.</strong> I think 3 is a lot.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>The bolded struck me as odd - are toasts really that difficult to sit through? </div><div>
</div><div>Otherwise, all of this sounds about right to me. If anyone offers to give a toast, I'd suggest they be done at the beginning of the meal.

</div>

LeiselEB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_order-of-speeches-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fde674da-0247-48f1-a367-088bf48e9806Post:9673a6df-144f-4ffd-9db2-5c089a535d8d">Re: order of speeches at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I just get really bored sitting though a multitude and/or long toasts.  Keep it short, keep it just one or two people.  I'm good.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I understand that, I hate long winded toasts/speeches, too. But even so it seems easier to just sit there and ignore it than walk out because someone's been rambling too long. That's just me, though :)

</div>

bonge

Where i am from there is a toast to the bride as well. 

Why is there one for the groom but not for the bride (other than the father thanking everyone for coming)?

I am not a fan of long speeches but i have been to weddings where they took over an hour. 

Where i live they also have parent speeches, where the parent welcomes the new daughter & son to their family. They are usually short & sweet though. 

I am hoping no one wants to do speeches & my grandma already talked to the mc about giving a toast to the bride (she is my 1st cousin who is 5 months younger than me) but she is a hoot so she will have everyone in stitches. 

Lisa50

The minister said the blessing.  Then, we had the speeches.  First, H's best man, then my best man, then H (thank you to all of our guests), then me (toast to my aunt and uncle, who were celebrating their 58th anniversary that day).

mica178

We had our toasts as the salad course was being served (so people could eat rather than listen to a ton of toasts).

First, a priest blessed the meal.
Then, my father (the host) thanked everyone for attending and gave the first toast to us.
Then both of my MOHs gave their toast (I gave them the encouragement not to, but both insisted).
Then both of H's BMs toasted.
Then H toasted me.

Yeah, by the time all that stuff was done, most people were done with their salads.

Summer2011Bride

We had 4 toasts--my father, two best men and my MOH. All of their toasts were probably 2 min or less; it truly wasn't that painful. We started them as soon as salads were served, and they were done by the time most had finished eating their salads. I think if you give people something else to do (like eat) during them, they really aren't that hard to endure. Having said that, make sure they all actually WANT to give toasts. If any are uncomfortable speaking in front of a group, I would not push them on it. I would also try to keep them short and sweet--I have been to weddings with 20 min "speeches" and it was not fun.

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_order-of-speeches-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fde674da-0247-48f1-a367-088bf48e9806Post:eb45acbb-1573-4173-acf7-148fe4e13857">Re: order of speeches at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]. Just as an FYI, I would probably stand up and leave (to the bathroom, to the bar) if there were going to be  toasts. I think 3 is a lot.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Really?  Most of them are short, it's no big deal.  This is beyond rude.</div>

Meegles4

We actually did things a little backward:

MOH toast
BM toast
FOB gave blessing (also said a few words of welcome)
WE EAT!

Our DJ asked the MOH/BM who wanted to go first, so that's how that was decided. I also liked ending things with my dad. Had the priest attended the reception, he would have given the blessing and my dad would not have spoken (I was pretty adamant about minimal toasts/speeches).

I liked that we did the blessing last because it was right before dinner was served, which is, you know, when blessings typically take place.

tpender13

FWIW, we didn't "plan" any of the toasts. At one point, our best man just grabbed the mic and talked, then MOH took a turn. My dad made a quick speech, then my brother did as well. We just let it happen without any kind of planning, and it worked out fine.

odustudent22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_order-of-speeches-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fde674da-0247-48f1-a367-088bf48e9806Post:29665060-b113-4818-b231-e494465c61d7">Re: order of speeches at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Where i am from there is a toast to the bride as well.  Why is there one for the groom but not for the bride (other than the father thanking everyone for coming)? I am not a fan of long speeches but i have been to <strong>weddings where they took over an hour.  Where i live they also have parent speeches, where the parent welcomes the new</strong> daughter & son to their family. They are usually short & sweet though.  I am hoping no one wants to do speeches & my grandma already talked to the mc about giving a toast to the bride (she is my 1st cousin who is 5 months younger than me) but she is a hoot so she will have everyone in stitches. 
Posted by bonge[/QUOTE]

I was at a wedding a couple of weekends ago and almost fell asleep the toasts were so long, drawn out, filled with personal refrences I didn't get, and just ugh.  Now, as for the father's part....i've told the DJ I would pay him extra to keep my father away from the mic....my dad, I love more than anything, LOVEs to hear himself speak. LOL

Kate61487

I've read that traditionally the BM's toast to the bride is first, so that's what we did

BM toast
both MOHs
then our priest did the blessing.

Each was under 3 minutes, it was NBD

emidle2008

At my sister's wedding, her dad did a thank-you to guests before dinner and introduced our grandfather who did the prayer before dinner. Before cake cutting, BM1 gave a toast, followed by MOH and BM2. Very sweet.

For my wedding, I plan on thanking our guests before dinner is served and asking my grandpa to say grace. I will of course run this by him before hand. If my MOHs and FI's BM want to give a toast and they've hinted that they would like to, the order would be Matron of Honor, Best Man, and then Maid of Honor. We will also probably do ours before the cake cutting. If any other family or BP wants to say something, we will probably have them do so at the RD.