how did you get your fiance to say yes

dolfin782

We have become engaged in March.  We have our venue. We are marrying in a year and a half.  When it comes to looking for other things for the wedding he tells me to write it down and keep looking.  How did you get yours to say yes to a dj or photographer?

smiles62309

Surprisingly my Fi was very into planning with me. From the first day he said he wanted to be included in the plans. So I make the calls, we visited possible vendors together, then discussed them and booked them together. We take everything one at a time. First we looked at halls, (booked the hall), then we went to photographers (booked the photographer) now we are onto video and DJ and are probably booking them next week. Maybe it would help by doing one thing at a time. I try not to jump around because it just gets more stressful. Just sit down and talk with him about plans.

mscutieri

I have done the same as smiles. Have not had any problems.

kewltif

I didn't have to get him to "say yes." He was interested in the path of least resistance. Within reason, I booked whatever I wanted.

jaimelody

FI and I are pretty much like smiles and mishie. I do most of the legwork and we see 3-4 options. So far flowers and my gown have been the only decisions I've made without his consent. But we do almost all of it together.

rinski04

I have to agree with your fiance.  When we were about 1 year out, FI and I were looking at DJ/band combos and I kept pressuring him to make a decision. He insisted that I hold off and continue looking and we ended up getting an amazing band at a great deal.  From then on I have been taking my sweet azz time on every decision. IMO, you have plenty of time. Enjoy the process of planning and don't feel pressured to book everything right away.

cvl105

I was like Tif.  He really hasn't cared about anything.  He has the wrong outlook, but always says "this is your day, do what you want".  So I do! )

cherylanddan0706

I brought him to 2-3 different people, I did all the leg work.  FI was also working a weird shift, so he actually was pretty upset that he couldn't do a lot with me.  No need to "get him" to say yes, we agreed on all things without an issue.

Karma01

I did all the research and we went to a visit a few vendors. I hated going around to each one so I would narrow it down to like 2 and we had to decide. But we always went with my top choice.

Karma01

oh the only thing he didn't go to: florist, invitations and dress.

yankees320

I did a lot of our planning online and over the phone. I researched and narrowed most things down to 2-3 and had him choose. The only appointment he came with me to was flowers. He was miserable looking through books and books of flowers. He only came because we were stuck in traffic and there was no time to bring him somewhere else

anotherNJbride

ditto Tiff... also, instead of saying, "Do you like "X"?" I found it easier to say, "Do you like "X" or "Y"?" When I gave MH options he had an opinion, and if he didn't, he said do whatever you like. I didn't bother trying to force him to be "into" wedding planning.

itsme32985

I listened and took his opinion but both he and I knew that my decision would prevail.  He only cares about the food.

brad1431

I do all the research, narrow it down to 10-15 of each vendor, then FI and I go visit, then we narrow it down to top 3 and sit down and discuss who we like and why and so far every time we both like 1 vendor far more than the others.  Video has been tough though, it is getting annoying.....

cvl105

damn_brad....10-15...where do you find the time to visit that many vendors. Good for you! At least you'll know you left no rock unturned.

DMLJ

FI came with me to book some of our vendors, but ultimately, he's a very laid back guy so I picked what I wanted and he'll enjoy every minute of it. I think after the planning of our engagement he figured he was done- which is fine by me.

mbcdefg

I've done the legwork, narrowed the choices down to about 3-5 and then asked his opinion. He either chose one or narrowed it down even further. For example, I ordered 3 invite samples and he gave his opinions on that. I showed him some flower pics and I eliminated anything he didn't like. I researched about 10 photographers, we met with two and he liked one right away (we would've met with more if necessary). We did go to about 7 venue halls together, though, as our first WR-project. If he says something is too expensive, I tell him what people on this board are paying and that usually convinces him that I gave him a good figure.

alliecarrie41

never had an issue.  i am the planner in our relationship.  DH wanted to be kept in the loop but the planning was all me.

brad1431

chelsea, for reception I contacted about 30 places, narrowed it down by price per person and minimum for a Saturday in season, and we visited I think 16 or 17 reception halls, we visited about 12 or 13 photographers, and so far 4 videographers.  How do I have time, I dont...  I work 45-50 hours a week, spend all my free time with my nieces and nephew, and do wedding research during work or late at night, and schedule things as work permits, that is why we planed a 2 plus year engagement cause we knew it would be tough to fit into my schedule.

uppereastgirl

You still have a good amount of time, which is maybe why he isn't anxious to complete tasks-- no time pressure.  I would conquer one task at a time, finish it and move on to the next one.  That way there's a reason to finish a task. I did all the identifying of candidates, but then when we visited with the people we booked with, we just knew-- we both felt comfortable and knew they'd do a great job.  That's how I got him to say yes.

kdimartino98

haha - my fiance really didn't get into planning the wedding.. he left most of it up to me, he just advised me to stay within reason on a budget.  I just went out... did the legwork, picked the one I liked and said "here is what I like" and gave him all the details and compared to others to show why I liked "xyz" the most.   Then he agreed.

I <3 Seabass

I agree with your FI. Start writing down the vendors you like and keep researching and looking at all of your options. Like pp said you have the luxury of time. With a year and half to go no wonder he's not jumping up and down to get things booked, I wouldn't be either. The earlier you book the earlier you have to put down deposits, and I'd much rather hold on to my money as long as possible.

kewltif

Damn Brad! That's a lot of appointments. I think in total over our entire engagement DH maybe attended 10-15 or so appointments total including what we had to do for the church.

brad1431

it was easier with reception hals cause we could see 2-3 on a saturday or sunday morning, not so easy with photo or video, now it is one a night, and I am starting school this week, so that is two nights that are out.  It is going to be tough now

FutureMrsDuda

I want him involved in the wedding planning...I want him to come with me to ALL the appointments (other then my dresses), so the day of the wedding there are no surprises we both know what we are getting...Granted I do all the talking, and I ask all the questions but in the end I need to know that he agrees with my decision on who we pick out for our wedding. Just let him know that you want to start planning other things, Time flies!!! and there are certain appointments that need to be done early... Just make appointments around your honey's hours that are free. Just check out websites and reviews and pick 3 vendors and limit yourself to the amount of vendors so you dont bore him to much...lol