How far is too far to ask your guest to drive?

Jake13

How far would you ask your guests to drive for your wedding.
The reception site we want to have is about a 1 hour dirve from our church. 
Is that too far? 
I am sooooo worried that people will be upset or may not come at all.

kristen8040

It's a bit much, if anything they'll just skip the church.  If that will upset you find another church or reception place.  

sgdc2011

agree with pp

grace_ann

is it an hour with traffic or without ...just something to think about because mine was about 45 but wound up being an hour and I wish I had left more time between

Faith2730

Agree with pp...I think a lot of people will skip out on the church.

cutiepie12702

That is too far of a drive, unless you don't care if people go to the church...

HobokensFury

I think a lot of people would skip the church.  I would.

demarcosjd

Ours was about an hour away. We had a few people skip out on the church but not as many as we thought. As pp mentioned about traffic it can also depend on the time of year you are having your wedding. The last 2 weddings we have been to have been around an hour drive and we haven't thought anything of it. Are majority of your guests located closer to your church or the reception?

Denise91980

Honestly...unless you were a close friend or family member, I would just attend the reception. You also have to factor in the gap in time between the ceremony and reception on top of the travel time. 

[Deleted User]

I drove an hour to a friends reception, and thought it was far, also she had a lot of time between, so most did skip out on the church. How much time gap do you plan on  having?

JandP51212

I never even thought of how long it would be for my guest. I know that most people won't come to church so it really didn't matter to me that the place I picked was that far. I live in Union County and I picked The Tides, that about 45min to an Hr drive. I don't think 1 hr is really far, but that's just me. I've gone to weddings that far and it didn't bother me.

Jake13

We are considering the Tides on a Saturday, early fall and the church is in Fords/Woodbridge.  It didnt' seem that far to me when I was coming home from there.  I am driving there on Saturday to see exactly how long it takes. 
Most of our guests are from the Middlesex/Union County area.

JerseyML

I originally was going to get married at SHU and have my reception at the pleasantdale chateau.  Easy Easy.  SHU is a whole 10 mins away from west orange.  I contacted SHU and they refuse to have any ceremonies during lent.  (Oops Terrible Catholic) So I contacted my church which is about 45 mins away from the Chateau and they have no problems having a wedding ceremony during lent.  So I am basically making my poor guests drive around northern and central NJ on the day of my wedding.  We are getting a few buses, one from Brooklyn another from where my FI lives and maybe another by me to help with the travel if people need it and want it.  Some people may choose not to take the bus because they want to stay for the after party and brunch the next day instead.  I am not going to stress if people don't show up to the ceremony.  As long as the show up to party when they RSVP'd that they will, I'm happy. 

Remember, especially is you live in Northern NJ, NYC or Conn, we are used to traveling.  Sitting in the car for an hour is no big deal for us.  Hell, my commute on a good day is 1 hour and 45mins ONE WAY!  Ask a few friends and fam what they think.  I know I wouldn't be mad but I am used to it.  Most of my family lives in Brooklyn and have their receptions in SI or Northern NJ.  Have you ever gone from Brooklyn to these places in under an hour?  I haven't. 

[Deleted User]

We're in the same situation but are absolutly okay with people skipping church - the most important people n our lives will attended mass and thats all that matters right?

We're getting married in NYC and it's about 25-30 mins without traffic to get to our reception site - with traffic is a whole other story and most ppl dont want to go into the city anyway.

FYI - I know it may sound selfish to pick a church that's inconvenient but it's the same church my parents got married in and FI and I met at a concert (non-religious concert - just an international band) in the church's basement - it means so much to us.

JerseyML

I see this on the etiquette boards so many times.  Why is it rude not to show up to the ceremony?  You don't RSVP to the ceremony, you RSVP to the reception.  Come to the ceremony, don't come to the ceremony.  Who cares?  Do people honesty notice these things. 

As long as my FI is waiting for me at the alter, I'm good.  Now if he isn't there, I might have to make a call to one of my uncles to take care of him. 

Danes983

I am not a huge fan of the 1 hour drive.  I really think its a lot to ask of your guests. 

kwilkinson14

I wouldn't mind the one hour drive. Just make sure to factor the right amount of time between church and reception. I know the people that matter the most would be at both regardless of how far the church is away from the reception.

Reilly626

I say its too far and inconvenient, plus the drive to The Tides isnt the best from Union Co.  Why not get married at The Tides then?  My friend's ceremony was out back?  Or find a closer venue.  I say stay under 30 minutes, esp. in NJ!

LADY324

We are going to a wedding next month that is going to be about an hour away.  I don't think an hour is terrible as long as that is with traffic.

I am having my ceremony and reception at The Tides.  I live in Union County so I think for most of my guests its going to take them about 45 to an hour to get there.

peaches85

Unless I was really close to the couple getting married, I'd skip the ceremony if it was an hour away from the reception... especially if I was living in Union County and had to go south to Woodbridge just to go back North to The Tides. 

Regarding convenience and timing, on the weekends the Woodbridge area (depending on where you are) can get SOOOO busy and the traffic is horrible.  If your ceremony is going to be anywhere near 1&9, I'd say move the ceremony or find a closer reception venue.