Different RSVP dates on invitations?

Giaspo

Has anyone done two sets of invites with two RSVP dates? We are considering an A and a B list because we can't afford everyone but want to try. Someone suggested sending out the first set in the beginning of June with a mid-July date, and as the Nos come in, send out the second set with an end of Aug date (our wedding is 9/9). We'd try to do it so people that know each other don't get invites a month apart.

Has anyone done 2 invite lists?

uppereastgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_different-rsvp-dates-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:d1babaa6-f58c-4825-b459-ce35ef2d13edPost:87dd41e2-4d87-4636-8efc-49b6d21f1560">Different RSVP dates on invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]Has anyone done two sets of invites with two RSVP dates? We are considering an A and a B list because we can't afford everyone but want to try. Someone suggested sending out the first set in the beginning of June with a mid-July date, and as the Nos come in, send out the second set with an end of Aug date (our wedding is 9/9). We'd try to do it so people that know each other don't get invites a month apart. Has anyone done 2 invite lists?
Posted by Giaspo[/QUOTE]

<div>I think at least some people who receive invitations only a few weeks before the wedding with RSVP dates so close to the wedding will know they're b-list and may be offended.  I wouldn't do it.  Invite coworkers or something if you need to fill seats.</div>

felicia220

I am not a huge fan of "A" and "B" list.  I understand why people want to do them, but a part of me just feels weird about them.  Also I would find it strange if I got an invite and the RSVP date was almost 2 months before the wedding, I think that might cause a lot of missing responses.  

Giaspo

You are right. I think we need to take another look at the guest list and the budget. I wonder if we can really count on the 80/20 rule???

felicia220

I wouldn't count on "hoping" for a certain number of NOs.  I would invite as many people as a can afford/fit in the venue.  What happens when you don't get as many NOs as you expected?  Its just not worth putting yourself in a bad situation.  

JoBell123

My FMIL has some friends she wants B-listed, but I'm not sending any additional invites out to anyone else.  I agree that people will know they are B listed and be offended.

The only exception I may make is if our numbers end up being lower than we expected I may tell my co-worker that his gf can come.  I've met her maybe twice but they've been together for a while and he and I are pretty close since we share an office.  They don't fall into our engaged/living together/we know both well rule we were going with for plus 1s.

felicia220

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_different-rsvp-dates-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:d1babaa6-f58c-4825-b459-ce35ef2d13edPost:0aa78dc1-fd66-447d-b00a-d5f27ef1c5af">Re: Different RSVP dates on invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]My FMIL has some friends she wants B-listed, but I'm not sending any additional invites out to anyone else.  I agree that people will know they are B listed and be offended. The only exception I may make is if our numbers end up being lower than we expected I may tell my co-worker that his gf can come.  I've met her maybe twice but they've been together for a while and he and I are pretty close since we share an office.  They don't fall into our engaged/living together/we know both well rule we were going with for plus 1s.
Posted by JoBell123[/QUOTE]

<div>So your not okay with offending some of your FMIL friends (whom you probably don't know that well) but your okay with offending your co-worker, who your "pretty close" with.  That just doesn't make sense.  </div>

badkittyct

B lists are a bad idea. I understand why you would want it, but if you invite 100 people and only get 3 NO's, then what? Also, most people would be confused by the RSVP date being so far from the wedding. You could also end up with a good amount of YES RSVPs and because the respond date is so far off those people may not show because their plans changed.

KALAGHANDDAN

We also have a B-list. Main reason is that we both have an absurdly large family that lives out of state or out of country. My dad is 1 of 6 boys and I am the youngest and last of the grandchildren to be married and FI's mom is 1 of 8! Even though we expect many of them will not be able to make it to the wedding we didn't want to over invite in case they suprise us and are actually able to come. The B list isn't very large, we have cut it down a lot so only people remaining are people that we really would LOVE to have there but just can't fit in at the moment. We are getting married 11/4 and plan to send the out of state/country people invites with earlier RSVP dates for around late August and the rest of our list with late September that way if we do go to our b list they will have the same rsvp dates as the rest of the list.

LADY324

I82277 02n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_different-rsvp-dates-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:d1babaa6-f58c-4825-b459-ce35ef2d13edPost:84cd28ea-68a0-4f24-a8e5-fa52f1f3f0e9">Re: Different RSVP dates on invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Different RSVP dates on invitations? : So your not okay with offending some of your FMIL friends (whom you probably don't know that well) but your okay with offending your co-worker, who your "pretty close" with.  That just doesn't make sense.  
Posted by felicia220[/QUOTE]

I agree with this if they have been dating for a while it's rude not to invite your co-worker with his girlfriend.