Should I send out paper invitations?

luckylynndee · May 2012

I know this question probably seems insane.. so let me explain. I have a huge family.. not necessarily all close to me, or tight.. but it rambles on forever.. Most of my FIs family lives in MASS and we live in Montana.. We have been together for 6 years and have 2 daughters together and full custody of his daughter from a previous marriage.. we have been engaged since 2007. He has been married before.. I have not. We decided about a month ago to just go to Vegas and get hitched once and for all.. I made an event on my facebook page to announce it..and invited everyone on my friends list. We basically made it like "Hey, if you can be there, we would LOVE to have you..but we understand if you can't" Most people didnt even comment on it. In fact it hurt my feelings so much that I deactivated my facebook page for the time being. I know people saw it, because I heard that people were talking about it. A few people declined without comment and a few people that I wouldnt even expect, said that they would LOVE to be there.. For the most part everyone in our family is up to date with the times and has a FB page.. and we arent necessarily a formal or fancy family.. so I didnt think I needed to send out STDs or actual Invites.. Now Im wondering if I should? Like easy, simple ones? Maybe not only to be more of a formal invite, but maybe also so it becomes a BIG deal to those who should think so.. Im just wondering if it was so easily dismissible because it was just an online event? I understand that not a lot of people can just plan a trip in 3 months.. but we also chose Vegas because from where we live, it probably is one of the cheapest vacations to go because of the airfare.. and I chose about one of the cheapest hotels to stay too. My dad wont be making it because he is watching our kids.. I asked him before we made our plans if he would like to come and he said he would, but that he would rather let us go and enjoy ourselves and watch the girls for us.. Not a whole lot about this wedding is going to be traditional.. so I know I probably shouldnt let it bother me.. but being on this board and seeing everyone else's plans..and family and friends being involved it makes me think. Should I just stick with the fb invite and go, have a great time and say EF em.. or take the time to invite people the traditional way.. and if they still refuse to acknowlege it, well then I will know that they are the a-holes, not me. LOL.. Thanks ladies

FrankensteinsGirl · May 2012

I won't even do a FB event for my son's bdays. I send out (or pass out) physical invitations. It's too informal (and believe me, we are not fancy over here either

). If you want to invite people to go with you to celebrate and witness your marriage you should do actual invites. If you wanted to more 'announce' your plans then I guess facebook would be ok for that.

lanamilo · May 2012

We told everyone we wanted at the wedding verbally. We are sending more of an information type invite to them so they have the information on what is happening when.

At this point we know we have 14 people coming and maybe a few more. Many have bought tickets already even though we haven't sent the "invites" yet.

We have some maybes because of military duty. My FI is recently ret USMC.

krisstyle12 · May 2012

We are not traditional at all, but I am with FrankensteinGirl in that I don't even use FB for my kids bday parties. I am a lttle old school in that I still mail out paper invitations for the kids' parties. It's just a nice touch that I, personally, think is becoming obsolete.

With your small guest list, it would not be expensive to order a few nice invites. I used zazzle.com and love mine (50 invites for $60, I think). I am trying to keep expenses, tradition and drama as low as possible, but I DO think there is something to be said for putting forth a little more effort and $$ for your first and last wedding.

Plus, not everyone is your family may be as un-traditional or FB savvy as we are and won't take it as seriously off of just an FB invite. I wouldn't. I'd make a list of the people you really want to be there and send them something. You still have time...

HTH.

petitmonstree · May 2012

I agree with others. Make a list of who you really want there and send out physical invites. Half the time I don't even pay attention to FB events tbh. I'm not trying to intentionally hurt someone's feelings it's just I don't use FB that much and I have certain notifications turned off.