Community› Local Wedding Boards› North Carolina
North Carolina
New Discussion

How to Handle Those That Do Not RSVP

kaj1021kaj1021
First Comment
in North Carolina
We've gotten a lot of our RSVP cards but we're now past our return date--a week past actually!  We're really worried about those that have not RSVPed showing up and us not having enough food for them.  We heard about a couple of weddings that had a check-list and if you weren't on it, you could eat.  Should we do that and if they get mad, say "hey--it's your fault because I gave you the RSVP card along with a stamped, addressed envelope--how much easier could I make it?"  Or if we did a seating chart would they get the idea if their name wasn't on the list???

These are the people that I don't like! 
Report Reply to Post

Re: How to Handle Those That Do Not RSVP

  • kaj1021kaj1021
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Excuse me--that should say "if you're not on the check list, you can't eat."


    We can't afford extra--it's $15 a person!Yell
    Report Reply
  • clschnackclschnack
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I don't know how big your guest list is, but what I did is I split up the unanswered RSVP's between our two mom's and had them call the people- because every person counted for our reception.   Maybe see if some bridesmaids can help too????

    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • rebeccalynn410rebeccalynn410
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It totally understand, we're still 2 1/2 weeks out from our rsvp date but they're not coming in as quickly as I would have wanted!  Our cost is $37/person so I completely understand!!  If they're people you are close to, you could always send an email or call them and ask what they're planning to do and remind them to send the rsvp.  You could also have your mom or MOH do it too.  I might end up having to do the same thing....

    Good luck! When and where are you getting married?
    Report Reply
  • JemmessicaJemmessica member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    unfortunatly, people just suck at this.... I think almost all of us married delt with this.... I personally called or emailed everyone I'd not heard from. We banked on 115 guests, but I'm pretty sure we only had about 100... while it sucks to pay for people who don't come, I'd be mortified as a bride if people came and we ran out of food....
    Report Reply
  • katherineUTCkatherineUTC
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This was by far one of the most totally frustrating parts of the wedding planning process. I couldnt believe how many individuals I had that didn't RSVP. I dunno if they were uncomfortable with saying "no" (most of the ones that didnt RSVP wound up being "no's") or what the deal was. What I did was, the day after the deadline, I sent out a big email, blind carbon copying those that did not RSVP, and I basically said, "Hope you all are doing well. Unfortunately, we have not received an RSVP from you, if we don't hear back by October xx, we will have to assume you are not coming." It was very straight forward, but people who dont rsvp when they know they are coming or not coming, are kind of inconsiderate.
    Report Reply
  • andrea01012009andrea01012009 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    here's the andrea plan...i would try to contact all the slackers and get their answer.  it's just the right thing to do.

    i would by all means do a seating chart.  i would setup one extra table for incompetent family members that are RSVP challenged.  they get to sit there as well as eat last.  so if you run out of food due to their own ignorance, then the people to suffer are the people who were morons in the first place. 

    don't lose any sleep over silly things such as this.  it's 2010 and we are dealing with adults.

    Report Reply
  • rebeccalynn410rebeccalynn410
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_handle-those-not-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:d0717b46-f1c3-4fc1-86c7-796db85e8877Post:f256feee-bc9a-45d7-9893-22f85fb4fb43">Re: How to Handle Those That Do Not RSVP</a>:
    [QUOTE]This was by far one of the most totally frustrating parts of the wedding planning process. I couldnt believe how many individuals I had that didn't RSVP. I dunno if they were uncomfortable with saying "no" (most of the ones that didnt RSVP wound up being "no's") or what the deal was. What I did was, the day after the deadline, I sent out a big email, blind carbon copying those that did not RSVP, and I basically said, "<strong>Hope you all are doing well. Unfortunately, we have not received an RSVP from you, if we don't hear back by October xx, we will have to assume you are not coming</strong>." It was very straight forward, but people who dont rsvp when they know they are coming or not coming, are kind of inconsiderate.
    Posted by katherineUTC[/QUOTE]


    I like that.  Well said.

    Got 4 rsvp's in the mail today!  It was like Christmas!!  And they were all people that I wasn't sure what their reply would be!! :)
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards