Does anyone else feel incredibly overwhelmed/anxious? (vent)

femmepink

I feel like I am going to have a breakdown, and I really can't pinpoint why, but I just need to vent and see if anyone else can relate. There is just a combination of a bunch of little things... -my FMIL finally handed over her guest list after taking months to contemplate who to invite. We originally wanted 130 guests, we are now at 170. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. -my DIY invitations I thought would be cheaper, easier, and nicer. Well they turned out to be nicer than I can imagine, but def not cheaper! I got all my supplies from cards and pockets and I've still managed to spend hundreds. I think it's because I'm in Canada and the shipping fees butchered me. And they take an hour to make 10. So with 85 that will be 8.5 hours! I'm nowhere near done, and I don't trust anyone to take the time to be precise as I am, so I can't even ask for help. -my ceremony venue contact NEVER writes back to my emails! I have to end the same email 3 times before she writes back. All I want is confirmation that my ceremony will take place on the right day and time!!! -CHRISTMAS! -new years! My FI and I decided to stay in for new years for the first time in 6 years and his friends are giving him a guilt trip about it. I know they think I'm the reason he's not seeing them, but he really doesn't want to go. There are more things but I can't think of them right now because I'm so flustered. I just hate people making judgements of me, like I am keeping my FI from his friends or my other friend tells me he "doesn't think that we're ready for kids" because my FI and I talk about it so much, he says that he never had a doubt in his mind that he was ready for kids and because we talk about the changes we will have to make, etc, he thinks we're not ready. I HATE being judged like this. Agh okay, sure you've all had enough of me like I've had of myself. Have a great New Years!! ETA: I suspect that there are autocorrections or bad formatting because I'm typing this from my phone.

jml1981

First off - BREATHE!

And then I'll say, Yes. I'm feeling completely overwhelmed. I only have 2 months, 3 months to have my destination wedding. I have tons and tons of little things to do and I feel like nothing will get done until the last minute (grr). I have pretty much worked everyday (except Sundays) since Thanksgiving and I'm sick of it. I just need some time to get stuff done! I think I also need to follow the "breathe" statement.

As far as his friends judging y'all - who cares. It's your decision to do what you want and FI is a grown man. He can decide to stay home if he wants to. Don't let his friends get to you.

faithlady

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_anyone-else-feel-incredibly-overwhelmedanxious-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:4468a477-a977-4425-b203-a0b38fa8ac34Post:d314f6b1-523f-4df1-8914-46045e5c581c">Re: Does anyone else feel incredibly overwhelmed/anxious? (vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]First off - BREATHE! :) And then I'll say, Yes. I'm feeling completely overwhelmed. I only have 2 months, 3 months to have my destination wedding. I have tons and tons of little things to do and I feel like nothing will get done until the last minute (grr). I have pretty much worked everyday (except Sundays) since Thanksgiving and I'm sick of it. I just need some time to get stuff done! I think I also need to follow the "breathe" statement. As far as his friends judging y'all - who cares. It's your decision to do what you want and FI is a grown man. He can decide to stay home if he wants to. Don't let his friends get to you. :)
Posted by jml1981[/QUOTE]

<div>This completely! </div>

femmepink

I'm trying, but I feel like I'm drowning in all things wedding....

I cannot WAIT until this is over.

w+c3

Try to forget the uninportant stuff and only deal with the most important. Remember as long as you work on them, the invites will get done. Even though it matters to you no one will notice if they get them a day or two later than the date you had in your head.

As far as the your FI's buddies hounding him about not going out- screw them. The thing about people on the outside is the don't know sh*t. Sadly enough the groomsman standing up at my wedding 2 years ago told my FI to dump me and that we weren't right for eachother after we had a bad fight. They don't know jack, because look where we are now. Walking down the aisle. Look where they are-- all single with no sign of a significant other.

And as far as being bad parents there is nothing that feels better than showing someone just how wrong they are!

cmac3504

I'm with you on being overwhelmed.  I agree with w+c3... Try to focus on the important things and forget the unimportant things... both with the wedding & outside of the wedding.  Try to get together with your FI's friends and get to know them so that they'll hopefully judge you less.  It's time to get excited about the wedding and not dread it!!!  It only comes once!!!

brittandjp

I agree with a lot of what's already been said. I know it's easier said than done and I'm still struggling with this one myself, but definitely try to focus on the important things. Yeah, it sucks that you're spending more than you wanted on the invites, but you're putting all of your love and effort into them. I love my invitations, but I think I would have loved them even more had I designed them and they were truly my own. Take your time on them and if you send them out a few days later than you planned, no big deal. It's not going to change anyone's response by having a few less days to think about it and RSVP.

That's really frustrating about your FMIL's guest list and the fact that you have so many more guests than you originally intended. I know this is totally horrible to say, but at least they're not people you REALLY know or are close to. You won't have to spend much time (if any) really talking to them, you know?!

I totally understand your frustration with the venue coordinator. Mine sucks at life when it comes to communication. I have to resend emails several times. I always go back to the last one, so that they can see I'm forwarding them the same email for the 3rd time. It's so annoying, I've gone as far as just showing up. You could always try that option.

As for your FI's friends, they don't know anything. That's really rude of them to make judgements about you and/or your fiance. When JP and I started getting more serious and we started going on more dates or just staying in, rather than going out with friends, there were a couple of his friends that were less than thrilled and I think they gave him a hard time about it. It really bothered me at first because I was so eager to please everyone and I wanted everyone to like me, but over time, JP realized he didn't care what they thought either. They still go out multiple times a week, get wasted, they always have a new flavor of the week, and they show no signs of foregoing their 21 year old life style (they're 30). Thankfully, JP totally agrees with my opinion of them and they now don't really hang out or go out together. He does still go out, but with friends that understand him, his lifestyle, his age, his commitment to me, and personality. So, clearly, those guys are just tools and try not to let their opinion weigh too much on you. They're totally not worth it. Eventually, your FI will probably see this too and realize that perhaps he doesn't need or want people like that in his life. As for the children, when you do have children and you're amazing parents, they'll realize they were idiots and didn't know what they were talking about.

So, again, sorry that you're going through this. I honestly think that the nerves and anxiety of the wedding is getting the best of all of us. I am SO on edge about everything right now, it's ridiculous. JP and I totally got into the dumbest argument today and looking back, I sort of feel like an idiot. I'm totally overthinking and analyzing things lately and it's because this wedding has me stressed to the max. I can't wait until the day itself, but this whole planning process and final weeks leading up to it are SO overrated. It's all totally getting the best of me and making me a little crazy. So, try to keep that in mind, all things wedding are just tough right now. When the slightest thing doesn't go right, just try to let it be and make the most of what is important. It's all going to come together in the long run, but take one day and task at a time, you will get it all done. You will have an amazing wedding. You will still be marrying the man of your dreams, even if it does involve late invitations, annoying FMILs, and crappy friends.

Finally, breathe. Have a glass of wine and go cuddle with your adorable little puppy and fiance. Hope you feel better!

shaneikaw

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but as you can see from the pp alot of people are feeling the same way you are feeling.

Honestly I feel like I haven't done anything that I need to do just think at least you have gotten your paper for the invites I haven't even picked out the invites I'm on the websites now looking, I haven't put the deposit on the venue, i haven't even confirmed a time with the church for the wedding, so yes I am really feeling it just like you. Just stop and get a glass of wine and put your feet up some where and relax do what you can when you can and don't stress.