Indiana

Open Bar/Cash Bar

Hey everyone! I hope the wedding planning is going well. I have a kind of ettiquete question on the bar. I was wanting to have a cash bar because I don't want my parents spending too much on the reception. My mom was wondering if that was the norm. I want everyone to have a good time, but I don't want to be paying for it the next 10 years! What are your opinions on this issue? Thanks for your time!

Re: Open Bar/Cash Bar

  • edited December 2011
    I think a cash bar is fine if you truly cannot afford it, but there are ways to make it more affordable. Can you do beer and wine only? We are doing beer and wine free, but a cash bar for other drinks (since our venue has a WONDERFUL bar it would be a shame to waste it.) It tends to be a lot cheaper and also a little safer in my opinion- no shots every half hour!!
  • edited December 2011
    If alcohol is going to be served, then at the minimum you should cover the beer and wine and make liquor optional.If your guests do drink and you have a completely cash bar then don't expect them to stay long. Is this something you and your FI can cover since you don't want your parents to pay for it?
  • edited December 2011
    We are doing what pugs and chrissy said: just doing open bar for beer and wine and cash for liquor. Check with your venue as well. You still might have to pay for a cash bar!! It might not be much more to have it open. That's the way it was at my venue (and it was cheaper for a sit-down meal too rather than a buffet) so ask any questions to your vendors too. They are definitely open to them.Chrissy - CUTEST SIGGY PIC EVER!!! There is a white boxer at the Hamilton County Humane Society right now that has gorgeous blue eyes and I want him soooo bad but FI says no. =( He is deaf too and knows all kinds of signs!! They said he loves other dogs!!! I keep telling my MOH to get him for me as our wedding present. ;)
  • edited December 2011
    Personally, I have never been to a wedding that didn't have an open bar. I don't think that anyone will have cash on them in order to pay for drinks. If you are worried about the price, I would just serve beer and wine. Totally skip the option to buy liquor, it's too confusing. Someone might order a mixed drink not knowing that they have to pay for it. How embarrassing would it be for them to tell the bartender that they don't have the money on them to pay for the drink. So either they start asking people for money to borrow so they can pay for it, or just walk away. They might even be hesitant to go back and get something they don't have to pay for. I would be expecting people to leave earlier than they normally would if they have to pay for things.I don't think that you should offer anything at your wedding that you expect your guests to pay for. Either pay for it or don't offer it at all.Ask your venue if you can put a cap on things. Say that you will only be willing to pay for X amount of bar service. When that price is hit, they stop serving. That way you get the open bar, but you also know exactly how much you will be paying for at the end of it. If they do this, it would be a great option!
  • edited December 2011
    Oh and we went to a wedding in January where before and during dinner the bar was open but after dinner it was cash bar. If that is a cheaper option, ask your venue ... although just know that a lot of us were pretty peeved bc we were not told that in advance (and we were IN the wedding party).
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks!  Boxers are the greatest!  We love them so much and they are so good.  I would definitely try and talk your Fi into it.  They are really loyal and smart and don't tear things up.  Our friends love them so we take them to cookouts, etc.  If I visit H at the fire house and don't take them with me all the guys are like "where are Max and Lola?"  Plus, we rescued Lola and it's such a great feeling.  That dog will love you forever for doing that.
  • silverbubblesilverbubble member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are doing beer and wine b4 and after, with cash bar for mixed drinks. Of course people ask me about it and i just tell em. We actually had to cut back on the bar some to help save on money for it. Yes, it is kind of unfair to ask them to pay for part of it, but we are not rich. There wasnt exactly a nice way to put that in the invitation. So we are telling people as they ask. The other wedding I went to similar to that, had a little sign that stated something about it. To avoid the ask-no money embarassment.
  • edited December 2011
    I have been to several with just open beer and wine, I think that is typical in our area so exceptable.Do make a sign letting people know what is and isn't compliments on the host.  (sometimes the venue will provide this, but I did because I wanted to make it look nicer and it didn't cost much).  We used a silver 8x10 frame we will not put a wedding photo in and printed it on a piece of pink paper from Archiver's.Ours was completely open, so the purpose of our sign was to let people know everything was compliments of us and what the liquor, beer, and wine choices were so they didn't spend forever deciding.
  • Married678Married678 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did open beer and wine also. I think it's more common for that in our area. Having a sign either way is a great idea!! We had 2 kegs and 12ish bottles of wine, I think. We had about one keg left and 2 bottles of wine left over.GL!(BTW...DH paid for the bar not my parents)
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