FMIL more stress than helpful

tiffielynn91

my FMIL came over yesterday and she said she wanted to "talk" about wedding stuff at that point i just wanted to leave home she dosent help all she does is shoot orders. when she leaves i just feel more stressed and and want to elope more and more. please tell me after the wedding she will stop being like this. if not i may move to china. thanks ladies. 

Stunner380

Hang in there but don't be afraid to stand your ground cause after all its not her wedding but if she paying for stuff then just kindly tell her that what she doing isn't helping anyone in the end.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_fmil-more-stress-than-helpful?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:703aa7ce-378d-4b54-b367-c00210a26cb8Post:86278e1d-91bf-4312-a1dd-b7ba17c204a5">FMIL more stress than helpful</a>:
[QUOTE]my FMIL came over yesterday and she said she wanted to "talk" about wedding stuff at that point i just wanted to leave home she dosent help all she does is shoot orders. when she leaves i just feel more stressed and and want to elope more and more. please tell me after the wedding she will stop being like this. if not i may move to china. thanks ladies. 
Posted by tiffielynn91[/QUOTE]

Chances are, after the wedding, it will be the same, or worse. Just prepare yourself for that fact.  And try to set boundaries NOW, so she doesn't get comfortable interacting with you in this way.

Your best bet is, "oh, I already have that taken care of".  or "we have already picked that out".   Also, if they are paying, you may want to try to figure out a way to pay for it yourself.  When people pay, they get a say.  Which sucks, but it's just a fact.  So, if you don't want her involvement, don't take any money.

tiffielynn91

we have yet to see any money. or atleast i have. after the wedding i have no problem being a bad ass and telling her off. i know that she is not a fan of mine. 

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_fmil-more-stress-than-helpful?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:703aa7ce-378d-4b54-b367-c00210a26cb8Post:0c1e0b01-4755-475a-ac38-d6adde7b4bbc">Re: FMIL more stress than helpful</a>:
[QUOTE]we have yet to see any money. or atleast i have. after the wedding i have no problem being a bad ass and telling her off. i know that she is not a fan of mine. 
Posted by tiffielynn91[/QUOTE]

I think your best bet is to NOT tell her off acfter the wedding, and learn to set some solid boundaries now.   Once the wedding is over, you still aren't going to want her as an enemy.  She is going to be in your life a LONG time.

You have to learn the "bean dip" rule.  "Thanks FMIL.  I have that part covered.  Can you pass the bean dip".

aoideeos

I kinda understand what you mean. My fiances mom is passive aggresive but she will say things like "that doesnt belong on a wedding registry" and nit picked at my wedding website until i just decided to friggin change it. My fiance has now told her a couple times that it isnt her wedding, its ours. She backed off after a couple times of saying that. Stand you ground and tell her what YOU want, thats its YOUR wedding.

tiffielynn91

its almost like she is trying to make this her wedding or my Fi's little sisters wedding. (shes the same age as me) both are kinda not angry but almost jelous about us getting married.