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Maine

Reception Before Wedding...

My fiance and I are doing a destination wedding in Decemeber. We really wanted to have a reception here in Maine though during the summer/fall before the wedding, when the weather is more enjoyable. We wanted to do a bbq. What do you think, does it sound too outrageous or does it sound ok to do? His family does not agree with it.

Re: Reception Before Wedding...

  • edited December 2011
    Are you thinking of inviting people to this bbq who are not going to be at the wedding ceremony? If so, then I think that could be okay-- but I would wait until after the wedding ceremony if at all possible (I know the spring is the Mud season, here)...But if you're going to be inviting people who are coming to the wedding in December, that just seems like you're throwing a really big Jack and Jill shower...
    "Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky." -- Ranier Maria Rilke BabyFruit Ticker image Me:37 MH:38 TTC since Oct 2011 BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12; MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12 S/PAIFW
  • edited December 2011
    I think any excuse to have a party is a great thing, but a reception is really a "thank you" to your guests for witnessing your wedding. I know that 'at home receptions' (AHR) are very common these days, but I've never heard of one taking place before the wedding.  As the prior poster said, that's more like a jack and jill shower. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Most at home receptions are really done after the actual wedding. Also are you only inviting close family/friends to the destination wedding, or are you inviting anyone who can/willing to come? I would just be careful w/ the invite list for the AHR as it can look a little gift grabby if you are inviting everyone and anyone. GL
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  • edited December 2011
    I say, your wedding- your way!  Sure, it isn't traditional, but hey, if you want to have a celebration where you can invite your whole fam, do it when you want to!  You could even do a mock ceremony to make it fun. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I dunno, Bethany. Normally, I'm a strong proponent of the "your wedding, do what you want" philosophy, but there are certain forms it is best to observe-- like not seeming money-grabbing.I have been invited to some pre-wedding parties where I was offended because it seemed so clearly a gift-grabbing tactic. I mean, a pre-engagement party, an engagement party, a jack-and-jill shower, and then the wedding! Seriously, how many times do I need to buy you a present for your wedding?!? I really feel strongly that for this situation, you really should have the party after the ceremony-- unless you know that your guests COMPLETELY understand that the destination wedding is going to be an extremely intimate affair... and that they won't take it the wrong way.
    "Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky." -- Ranier Maria Rilke BabyFruit Ticker image Me:37 MH:38 TTC since Oct 2011 BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12; MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12 S/PAIFW
  •  I totally agree with you. I am about to get married myself and do the same thing. I live in Lubbock Texas and want to have my wedding ceremony at a lake nearby. But we are both from Amarillo Texas and I want to have  our Reception in Amarillo for a couple of reasons. The main one is because alot of people cant afford to make it to our wedding ceremony so I would like to give them the opportunity to partake in our wedding still. I think that the Traditional way is so Traditional and I am the type of person that likes to be different and Create my own traditions for my family and I. You do what is best for you; as long as you and your husband to be agree on it I see no problem. It is not his families wedding, its you and your husbands wedding. Congrats on your wedding and Good Luck!!!
  • Wow - nothing like replying to a thread that is 4 years old!
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