Dress Regret... (LONG)

AmJam04

So I just got a call from my bridal salon telling my dress has come in, and it got me back to thinking...

When I purchased my dress, I was definitely caught up in the moment. My "dream" dress at the time was a Vera Wang Diana which I got to try on but definitely did not meet my expectations -- so I was deflated and saddened. Then every dress I tried on just didn't look good on me, or wasn't what I wanted, or looked wrong, etc. I got to a point where I was frustrated and getting desperate. Then we went to "the" salon, where I found a dress that was strikingly similar to the Diana dress I had been dreaming about but was half the price and looked just as "fluffy" as I was hoping.

Problem?
Well, for starters, my mom passed away awhile ago, so during the dress-searching process I relied heavily on my father. One of the dresses I tried on was inspired by a Dior gown -- but it was SO untraditional! It was grey/blue, no train, very intricate piping, and it looked like a red carpet gown... but it wasn't remotely close to making me feel like a bride. Well, my dad LOVED that dress. He continues to talk about how amazing I looked in it, and blah blah blah.
Part TWO of this is that I've always wanted a fashion-forward gown. I have never wanted a cookie-cutter "typical" or "expected" gown. Yet, at the same time, I wanted to feel like a bride when I was in the dress. I interpreted this as an unconventional design while still being generally white in color and some sort of silhouette similar to a ball gown.

So, long story short...
I don't feel like my dress is up to every standard I had hoped for. I broke down and showed FI the dress (not with me in it) and he likes it and says it isn't worth trying to find another one... but I still can't help but feel anxious about it. I don't know if it's really "me" -- and ESPECIALLY since my dad won't stop freaking talking about that other dress... it just has me feeling so insecure about my decision. But at the same time, it is a really pretty dress and there's nothing wrong with it... I know it'll be beautiful and nobody will have any idea about my dilemma... but ugh.

I guess I'm part venting and part hoping for advice...
Any dream dress that I would be willing to go through the effort of selling my current dress for would be at LEAST twice the price. I just can't decide if it's worth it.

Anyway, here's a pic of the dress on a mannequin (but it'll be converted to a sweetheart neckline):



Here's an example of maybe a dress I'd trade it for:



Please convince me I'm crazy and I don't need to do this. ;_;

RMcDougle

I think dress regret is common and you are only going to make these feelings worse by looking at other dresses. Stop it! (I was the worst about looking at other dresses.. So I know. Stop it!)

With over a million women in the US getting married each year.. for hundreds of years.. There have been billions of wedding dresses created. if you wear anything "bridal" - i.e., a (big fluffy) white dress - you are going to look typical. Even the "fashion forward" idea is a trend now: very backless, lace or illusion backs, crazy volumes, ruffles like mad.

Now, regarding the dresses, the first dress is beautiful!  The draping of the skirt looks very soft and elegant, and the volume of the skirt and the underlay look great. The skirt on the second dress looks kind of unfinished/sloppy compared to the first. The next time your dad mentions that other dress, tell him "Geez.. quit mentioning that dress, you're making me feel like you don't like the dress I bought.." and then he will likely stop and start gushing about your actual dress, and you will feel better.

Candicejae

I think both dresses are very pretty!  But, you really don't won't to "break the bank" if you can't afford to.  It's seems like you are in between on whether you like the dress you chose or not because the dress you really want would be out of your price range?Am I correct? 

Well, I was in that same situation, but I KNEW I didn't want to spend boocoo dollars on a dress.  I  So I went with a happy medium.  I set a price range, tried on dresses in that price range and above it.  And to my surprise, all of the dresses I tried on above my price range (although very pretty), did not satisfy me the way the dress I chose (that was in my budget).  Mainly, because I was satisfied financially, physically (the way I looked in it) and mentally (knowing I was spending too much on the dress I chose and it was just as pretty as the "expensive" dresses.  And I think the dress I chose is much prettier than the "expensive" dresses I tried on.   

So I guess what I'm trying to say is go with your gut.  If you are satisfied with the dress you chose in more than one way, I'd say keep it.  But, if you are not, look at other options.  Maybe you can have it altered a little bit more to you liking rather than buying a whole new dress?  That may be less expensive.  I know I'm rambling, but hope I helped.

OH, and after I ordered my dress, I STOPPED LOOKING AT DRESSES! Looking at more dresses will definitely make you indecisive.   Believe me, I know! LOL

WalkersFurMama

I think the dress you bought is GORGEOUS! It's not "typical" while still being very bridal at the same time. And there has to be a reason you were enamored with it and bought it in the first place, right? Can you go back and try it on. Maybe seeing yourself in it again will help solidify the reasons you bought it in the first place. I know whenever I start having dress doubt, it really helps to put it on and have "the moment" all over again. 

Personally, I don't think it's worth trying to sell it (if you can at all) and spending 2x as much on another dress. And let your dad know that his going on and on about a different dress is not helping you feel good about the one you bought. 

keyaira04

I do agree with PP. 

I don't think you are crazy but while I can understand your disappointment, as many bride appear to have dress regret, I do think there are other things in your planning to worry about. FI likes it. Its a check off your list. Your dad loves it and we know you will be amazing in it. I also agree that you should stop looking and thinking about other dresses. That will only make it worse and only provides anxiety.

I also think you would go into the store, try you new idea for a dress on above and still not be 100% sure. And thats OK...That's how I feel. But I know at the end of the day, I'm marrying this great guy I've blessed with and he thinks I look pretty today. Done, over, end of story. I trust your FI will see it that way too. 

AmJam04

Thanks everyone...

What's weird is I actually HAVE stopped looking at dresses! Problem is when I go on pinterest to the wedding category -- I try not to look at the dresses, but some always do catch my eye.

I guess I should stop worrying about it until I try the dress on again. I just have one of those "type A" personalities where I want things to be a certain way and if they're not, then I get all panicked. lol.


:-/

eas1223

I know I'm going against the grain a bit on this one, but I feel strongly that every bride should feel like her dress is the perfect one.  With that said, I would go try on your dress first.  If after trying it on, you don't have that special feeling about it, then I would go dress shopping with your dress in hand to compare (and maybe without your dad this time).  Seeing how you feel in other dresses will give you a sense of whether there is a different dress out there that makes you happier.  Like others said, you have to keep your finances in mind, but this is one time where it's ok to be selfish and make sure you get exactly what you want.

Knottie1450123632

i agree with all the ladies. 

feel special and make sure its what u want.  dont take dad lo but i say 1sst dress retry it on and see if u can add a bit of bling or see how u can jazz it up hopefully that helps

shilotony2012

Love the first one!! It is gorgeous!!! Second one is just too much. I would try it on and see how you feel. from watching SYTTD this happens all the time!

kerryberry13

You aren't the only one with dress regret! I blame Pintrest too. I won't be able to see my dress until February and sometimes in the middle of the night I will wake up and need to look at pictures of my dress to reassure myself. I purchased the first dress I tried on and only put on 2 other styles after it, so I definitely rushed in to the decision.

I also think your dress is gorgeous and that its not worth the money to start all over again. Plus, very elaborate dresses that look good in a picture in Pintrest only look good on a model who is standing still for one photo and are not practical to wear for a whole day where you want to also have fun & feel comfortable.

Maybe, you can look in to alteration options to add an element from other dresses you like to the one you have. I'm considering adding cap sleeves to mine when it comes time for alterations.

McRogol

Go with your gut - whatever it says.  I bought the second dress I tried on...Loved it immediately, tried a few others, and put it back on and bought it.  You can make yourself crazy with thenumber of options available for all parts of your wedding.  

Try your dress back on - if you're happy stick with it and stop looking on Pinterest!  If you're not happy, trust yourself, sell it, and get a new one.  

But don't let yourself keep agonizing over it.