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September 2012 Weddings

BM dress drama... continues.

MOH and I planned to get together and finally order the BM dresses today. She was ready to be measured, and I had the measurements for the one BM who said she couldnt find a place near her who sold the designer we wanted. However, MOH showed up at my place and told me that the other BM, who declared our original dress choice to be "not a fall style" and vetoed it, had not once gone to see the dress that we settled on after she picked it out online. Even though I have been sending emails telling BMs when to order their dress by, she never once responded to me and apparently told MOH last week that regardless of the date I stated, she was thinking of going to look at the dress sometime next month. I refrained from going thru the roof, and instead said we would ask the salon what they thought about that timing.

The salon told me I really should order all three together because of dye lots, and that the absolute latest I should wait is mid-May. MOH and the disagreeable BM are going to Hawaii the first two weeks of May, so she will only have a few days when she gets back to go see if this dress even works for her.

WTF do i do? MOH keeps saying that she will talk to her and put pressure on her, but I have been very accomodating. I was open to suggestions after she didn't like the first dress, then she picked this one after seeing it online in December, and STILL has not even tried it on! I gave a date to order it by, and she totally disregarded it. The other thing I am upset about is that she has not ONCE spoken to me about it. She only talks to MOH about it if they are together and MOH asks. I don't even like this dress, but when MOH said that this BM liked this one, I just said "Ok we will go with it." Do I ask her what the deal is? I know the rule of thumb is that if a BM doesnt order by that date, she's out, but now i havent ordered ANYONES dress because MOH is trying to be the diplomatic one and said we should give her more time. I just kinda thought 4 months was enough time to try a dress on.

Re: BM dress drama... continues.

  • If you don't even like it, I think you should just go with your original pick that everyone else liked. You're the one that's going to have these pics forever, might as well like looking at the group shots! I would also tell her that you're ordering the dress by a certain date and if you don't have her measurements, don't order her dress. Either she'll eventually get her stuff together and order her dress or she'll kick herself out of the wedding party. Really sorry she's being such a pain, good luck with everything!
    Sept 2012 Siggy: Bridesmaid Dresses!
    But instead of yellow, mine will be peridot!
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  • In my opinion, the only reason the BM should have the right to veto a dress is if it's way too expensive. Other than that, she probably really isn't going to wear it again, so who cares if she likes it? Maybe I sound mean, but it's your wedding. Your choice. 

    You need to confront this disagreeable BM. Make a decision and let them all know what it si and then tell them they must order by the certain date. 

    Good luck - BMs can be a pain sometimes! I can't get mine to order either and they have two weeks left now. 
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  • You really need to confront the BM.   Pick up the phone and say "I'm feeling some real pushback on these dresses from you and I want to know how you are feeling and what is happening for you?   I'm concerned that you aren't being responsive and you have ignored my past emails. "

    I don't recommend being rude or aggressive, but a very blunt conversation needs to happen.
  • I think you need to talk to her directly about it.  I know you said she won't talk to you about it, but I think you need to stress to her how important it is that you order by "x" date.  It's up to you whether you want to push which dress it is- I'm the diplomatic type, too, and would probably feel how you do about the dresses (if they like it and I don't, whatever- at least everyone will beautiful.  And yes, you'll have these pics to look back at for years or whatever, but you have TONS of pictures like that of important days (like bat mitzfahs, birthday parties, graduations, etc.) and didn't dictate to others what they were/weren't allowed to wear, and that doesn't make looking at those pictures any less memorable/happy for you.)

    And I don't want to thread-jack, but Irish- I LOVE your BM dresses.  I wish I was in your bridal parrty!! haha :p
  • Oh thanks so much, jacquiroxx! I really like them too, though not as much as my sister/MOH does! I think she had more of an "OMG, this is my dress!" moment than I did with my wedding dress, lol!
    Sept 2012 Siggy: Bridesmaid Dresses!
    But instead of yellow, mine will be peridot!
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Ok, I will talk to her. I tried last week but she blew me off, and then I told her when I was free to talk, and she said she would call me sometime last week. It turns out MOH is mad at her too, because they are going on vacation next week and their plans are nowhere near done. Plus MOH is moving to this BM's hometown and she has needed her help with some things and the girl has made excuses such as "I have a date tonight so I can't." I'm really upset because we changed the dress choice to accomodate her, and now she's totaly not interested at all.

  • ugh... well I hope this isn't the beginning of a rough road for you as you get closer to the date... Hopefully she shows up to your showers and bach. party... and is on time to the wedding. 
    I'm very nervous about one of mine ordering as well as showing up on time. She was over an hour late to her own wedding!!
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