How Do I Relinquish Control?

bsidebella

I apologize in advance if my punctuation and/or formatting is wonky, as I am posting from the mobile site. My MOA (maid of awesome) is starting to plan my bridal shower. I know she is going to do an awesome job but I am worried because she's doing almost everything herself, plus she is starting a new job at the beginning of next month and I feel terrible if shower planning is too much stress. She's a bit nervous because she's never planned a bridal shower before. I have two other bridesmaids who are local and I told my MOA if she needed help to contact them, but she said she could handle it. My problem is, I am one of those people who has trouble staying put. I NEED to help. I mean, I'm the guest that insists on doing dishes. How can I stay out of planning my own shower? I feel like I HAVE to help. But I can't. But I feel bad she's doing this alone!!

BMcLeodTeam

Tell her flat out that the only details you want is where to be, when to be there and what to wear (aka is it dress up, dress down, etc) and besides that don't tell you anything... if you don't know, you can't control it

HollyRae28

Honestly.... I'm no help. I AM this person! I completely feel ya! I want to help my MOH with the shower and she keeps saying NO! I am trying to find ways to compromise and I'm making loud hints of what I want! I thinnkkk I have convinced her to at least let me help pick the venue! haha! We will see.

So... I guess my advice... Just try to compromise!

AriesAngel86

Remind yourself that you are doing enough planning with the wedding!! Plus, I think it's more fun when there is an element of surprise.

I have the opposite situation. My MOH keeps asking me what I want and I keep telling her that I trust her judgement. She's pretty insistant about it so it's kind of hard! 

I know that everyone wants the shower to be fun... but remind yourself it's just a shower! No need to drive yourself crazy over it. 

Johnsonk313

I am this person too. I just keep reminding myself that the shower is a gift, and I can't dictate what people give me as a gift, then I stress about it to FI lol. But you offered the the help you could in the form of the other bridesmaids and she said she could handle it, so trust that she can Like Aries said it's just a shower you are going to have fun regardless.

mamameech

I am that kind of person too - it's VERY hard for me to let others do things for me period, especially planning parties! That's my thing lol
Buuuuut, I think you have to just let her do it. If she wants to, let her. I know I've put the offer in to my sister to help with anything she needs for my showers, but I'm letting her take the lead. It's not easy, but I do have faith in her

prettypictures

I, too, am this person. I agree with PP about asking her not to tell you anything. It's ultimately your shower, not your wedding; Just show up and be suprised by whatever she ends up coming up with. Good luck on this one - I'm the person who made my fiancee open his Christmas presents early... and then I re-wrapped them and asked him to pretend to be suprised on Christmas... wierd. I know.