So FI and I put in an offer last night for that house but the sellers went with another offer. We are a little bummed but know it is how it is meant to be. We now have some perspective on how much it would cost us to move into a house upfront and monthly. FI's sister said she was going to help us out some with the down payment but she has some other stuff going on so it isn't going to be as much as we thought. We don't have any houses we are interested in as of just this second but we are hoping to have something closed on by end of October.
So the question comes into play of how to handle our money. FI thinks his parents would spot us some of the down payment too knowing that things have been tough on us but that owning is cheaper than renting right now and we would pay them back over time. But, realistically we have to prepare to do it on our own. This would require about half of our wedding savings. We both agree that a house is more important to us than a big fancy wedding. We are locked into certain things with our contracts of course. So the question now come into play of do we change our wedding to just meet the minimums of our contracts in case a house comes a long (we have to cut the guest list in half basically so it'll rock the boat some) or proceed as planned until there is a realistic house in play. Once the invites are out at the end of July there is no going back on that though (God forbid THE house comes along August or September before we maybe recoup some money in gifts).
I'd gladly cut the list in half because I never wanted a big wedding but the "excess" on our guest list mainly came from FI's extended family FMIL insisted be invited (though neither of us care because we don't know who they are). So I can't go gung-ho on Operation House without basically coming off as not caring about his extended family. Another reason it would mainly be his family is they didn't get STDs, we didn't have an engagement party up there, and I am not having a shower where any of his family has been invited (they live in another state....wasn't an intentional thing). My side has to fly to the wedding so nearly everyone has gotten a STD, been invited to our e-party, and/or been invited to my shower. Those people we HAVE to invite now. Our minimum is 80 people and my invited side is only 62 with realistically 35-45 people actually coming since they are all OOT so getting to only my half of the minimum isn't bad and will happen regardless of what we do in this situation. I just dont know how to handle even discussing, let alone deciding (which would be our decision not just mine), house over extended family we dont know at the wedding. FI's sister advised to just do it and they'll get over it but it seems like a rough way to enter the new family.
I know it needs to be FI's decision really more than mine but I feel like with our house in question I have a right to present to him both sides. I just don't want him to feel like I'm pressuring him one way or another. We really have about 3 weeks to decide (figuring we need a week to figure out who gets the ax and how to break it to FMIL) so I don't need to put the pressure on immediately but it can't be left to the last minute either. I know that is extremely complicated but any advice would be much appreciated.