Question about bi-lingual weddings

krs887

Hello ladies! I'm new to the boards so please forgive me if this question has already been posted.

I just got engaged a couple days ago so planning hasn't even really been a thought yet but there is one concern I have....I am caucasian and speak very little spanish (though I am trying to relearn it) and FI is Colombian. Although he speaks perfect English as do his friends and family friends, his mother doesn't really speak English and my family speaks no Spanish except for a few words here or there. I was just wondering if anyone's had this experience before or if anyone could give me advice as to how to approach this when we start planning?

Thanks!

operarockstar

I don't have personal experience with it, but have cantored a couple of billingual weddings.  Are you catholic or protestant?  With the catholic weddings I've sung for, they've often done one reading in spanish, one in english, one prayer in spanish, one in english, etc.  The priest even gave his homily in both spanish and then in English (which gets a bit lengthy if you're having a full mass...)

I've even done one where the psalm alternated spanish refrains/english verses, etc.

Good luck!

aghouston86

Yup ditto the examples pp gave. The biggest problem that i have run into, is combining the cultures and customs. I'm pulling my hair out right now because ppl in FI'S family think our wedding is too "fancy", eventhough its pretty standard according to the way Americans do weddings.

krs887

Thanks ladies. We're both Catholic, but not strict in practicing. I'm just trying to figure out how to have everyone be comfortable and be able to converse (as best as possible).

I appreciate the advice.

Cynthia1207

I can speak from personal experience here.  MIL is cuban and doesn't speak one word of english my family is italian and can't speak spanish....now I know people say italian and spanish resemble each other but they only do in grammar not in actual words and especially not cuban spanish.

My mom and MIL were able to make themselves understood even though they couldn't have a regular conversation.  How?   They just got to know each other on a different level.  Hand gestures, speaking slowly, pointing at things. 

They are adults so just let them figure out how to be understood between each other.  If they don't understand each other, they'll probably move on to another subject or sollicit the help of someone who can quickly translate.

As for planning, I don't really see how this would cause a problem...You and Fi are planning your wedding right?  FI speaks spanish so he can relate all the info to his mom.

krs887

I'm not worried about the planning part, really. Just finding ways to get our families to communicate. I know that they'll be able to figure it out on their own. Thanks!

pinkcottoncandy7

I am planning a bi-ligual wedding because we are ASL ministers. We are having an interepter, although ASL is a silent language so that makes it easier. My sister is getting married next year and even her fiance doesn't speak English! I would say maybe have a close family friend interpret for his mother quietly?

krs887

There will definitely be people there that could translate for her if she needs it

feminivy

Our wedding was TRI-lingual (English, Vietnamese, German).  It was a lot of work, but it was worth it. We had our website (http://www.ivyandben.com/) and invitation in all three languages (had to DIY the invite, but there are lots of bilingual invitations on the market).  We had a German girlfriend quietly translate the ceremony - mostly English - in realtime.  She had to come to the rehearsal for that, and the officiant (a friend) sent her his script.  You could be sure to have someone bilingual stay at his mother's side. 

We also had two MCs at dinner, a Vietnamese American and a German who has lived here for a few years. We had a buffet for dinner, so we just let people choose the food according to taste and smell rather than translating everything.

As for the traditions, we incorporated only the most important ones from each culture: http://shutupandlove.blogspot.com/2011/05/wed.html. Good luck!

sharkgrl

One helpful thing is to make your programs have both the spanish and english version of all readings / poems.  Our ceremony has parts in both languages, our vows are in spanish, but I think vows are universally understood (I, name, take you, name, to be my wife..)

ashleyathompson

For our wedding, FI and I plan to do the majority in english as our familes speak mainly english. However, a few of his family members speak spanish better (in fact, his grandmother speaks some dialect of Guatemalan spanish and she wont understand a thing) so we will add in a few lines here and there to honor their culture, but sticking to english songs and our vows. 

Hope this helps, good luck!

medeawolff

I definitely know where you're coming from - my FI's family is Indian, and most of his family members don't speak English. I'm glad that FMIL can read simple English (she doesn't know enough of the lang to follow spoken English) so I can regularly email her wedding questions instead of having my FI translate for me over the phone every day. FMIL will meet my family in a couple of months, and I was worried about how they would manage to communicate together until my mom told me that she was just going to carry a small whiteboard so they can write to each other and gossip that way. Gotta love parental ingenuity. 

If you're considering a bi-lingual ceremony I would write up two programs explaining each part of the ceremony and the language it will be in - one in English, the other Spanish. That way everyone knows what to expect.