Trying to anticipate the % of invited guests that will actually come?

stinapeterson

I've seen varying wisdom on the % of invited people who will actually attend the wedding, ranging from 2/3 of the invited list, to close to 100%. For anyone who's in the process of receiving RSVPs right now, what rates of "yes" responses are you receiving, particularly if most of your guests are coming from out-of-state?

Mandafly84

You should anticipate 100%.

When my sister got married, I think she only had 1 decline.

stinapeterson

wow, that's a good reality check! thanks!

for those of you out there who had more folks decline, how did you negotiate the "A" list and "B" list over the course of receiving RSVPs?

ElisabethJoanne

Ah, B lists.

theknot adheres to the B list theory, which is that everyone who ever receives a wedding invitation will talk to everyone else who ever receives an invitation to the wedding. They will compare postmarks on the invitation, all inserts, and date the invitations arrived. Anyone who received an invitation later than another will be deeply hurt and offended, stick many needles into your voodoo doll, curse you to the high heavens, hate you forever, but still show up at your wedding to eat your free food and drink your free alcohol. Also, your marriage will be invalid and you will be a meretrix.

I've been on B lists. I wasn't offended. I wasn't hurt. I was glad to share in the celebration. My parents have been on obvious A lists, where the obvious expectation was they'd decline. They weren't hurt. They weren't offended. They were sorry to have to miss the celebration (in another country).

Despite my atheism when it comes to theknot's B list theory, I still think it's better to just have an A list and plan a stand-up reception if most come, and a sit-down reception if few come.

ElisabethJoanne

h'ors d'ouvers only

Peavy

There is no set percentage.  Every guest list is different.  You need to know the people you are inviting and how likely they are to attend.

TiffannieF

We had about an 85% acceptance.  I would plan for 100%.

I think I planned to have a B list but it didn't work out because by the time I got the RSVP's (which was like 2 weeks before the wedding, even though I had the deadline about a month out) it was too soon to randomly invite somebody...it would have been obvious that they were B listed.

I have also been B listed...its not that I was offended or not it was I just noticed that I was totally B listed.  what I ended up doing is just not going where as I probably would have gone had I received an invitation 6-8 weeks in advance along with the other guests. 

kmmssg

I can tell you ootmother's DD had 99% attendance at her wedding and one of my DD's had 96%.  People had floated that "only plan for 2/3's attending" crap at me but I listened to the wise counsel of the knotties who tell you to plan for 100% attendance.

We have 4 girls so my rule of thumb when one of them is getting married is to not only plan for 100% attendance but to make sure the venue will hold at least 10% more than the number we are inviting.  A venue's capacity doesn't have a darn thing to do with comfort, it is all about fire code.

Beverly8

I would plan for 100%. We had about 204 invited and about 30 no responses and not a single no show the day of the wedding ( and we had snow! ). You should always budget and plan for 100% attendance. You should ever count on people not coming when it comes to a budget

[Deleted User]

My friend just got married and she said about 75% of people invited came. (180 of 240 invited), but most of their family and friends were in the same state.  And they got married on July 1st, so technically a holiday weekend. 

I'd say plan for 100% in terms of budget and room capacities, but I've heard that 70-80% is usually (not always) a good estimate. 

Also, talk to your parents, if they're giving you people to invite, and see if they can give you an idea of who may not come.  For example - I have extended family in Texas, who aren't going to come to a MI wedding, or a great aunt who can't leave a nursing home that my parents still want me to invite but mom my was able to say "don't plan on them coming" which gave me a better idea of around how many people I should expect. 

[Deleted User]

My friend just got married and she said about 75% of people invited came. (180 of 240 invited), but most of their family and friends were in the same state.  And they got married on July 1st, so technically a holiday weekend. 

I'd say plan for 100% in terms of budget and room capacities, but I've heard that 70-80% is usually (not always) a good estimate. 

Also, talk to your parents, if they're giving you people to invite, and see if they can give you an idea of who may not come.  For example - I have extended family in Texas, who aren't going to come to a MI wedding, or a great aunt who can't leave a nursing home that my parents still want me to invite but mom my was able to say "don't plan on them coming" which gave me a better idea of around how many people I should expect. 

miranda1211

I used the guest list planner on TK to estimate our attendance.  On the "response" tab, you can put people in a cateogory.  I put everybody into a category of "Expected," "Not Expected," or "Unknown" prior to sending out the invites.  (I also added "Out of Town" just to help with the planning.)  This was helpful for us.

That being said, we are a little under six weeks from the big day, and have received 24 Yes and 20 No (out of 295).  My mother thinks that only about 50% will show, where I think 75-80% will.  But regardless of how many actually show up, I was very unwilling to go over our venue's capacity - so I say plan for 100% attendance.  It's the only way to absolutely ensure that everybody has a seat and nobody has to be turned away.

stinapeterson

thanks all! will plan on 100% of my list coming and then include substitutions from there. am also thinking of including a preliminary rsvp with the save the date (definitely cannot attend/am planning to attend) to help narrow things down.