Q for non-Christian/religious participants

rbtrumpet

We are having a Christian ceremony, both FI and I are very religious.  We are asking one of FI's close friends if she will do some readings for us.  She is not a Christian.

We are probably going to have 2 readings, one Bible and one poem.

I would like her to read both (the Bible will probably be a shorter passage at the beginning, and the poem will probably be a longer one during the unity candle or something). 

FI thinks that we shouldn't ask her to do the Bible reading to avoid putting her in an awkward position (making her read or making her say no).

(I try to stay away from "religious" because I understand that there are a lot of religious people who don't have the Bible as their authority)


So, I was just curious what other people thought.

danieliza1127

Just tell her that you'd like her to read both but if she's uncomfortable with the Bible verse, you can ask someone else.  Let her make the decision.  I know if it were me, I'm not religious but I wouldn't have a problem reading it because I respect other people's beliefs. 

goheels05

I would never ask someone who wasn't a Christian to do a reading from the Bible.  It would never occur to me to do such a thing, just like I would be shocked if a friend asked me to read from the Torah at their wedding.  It almost makes her like your prop or something, like you are just trying to find something for her to do. 

megk8oz

I would ask her if she's comfortable with it. Go from there.

I, personally, would base my own answer to this in a case by case situation. If it was one of my dearest friends or family members then I would do it in a heart beat. If it was a relative or friend that I wasn't very close to, it would seriously depend on a number of factors, including what the reading was and how "close" I really am with this person.

Jamilynn627

DH asked his cousin, who is not a Christian, to read one of the readings at our wedding (a bible reading). She was thrilled. Even if your friend does not observe the same belief system as you, she may be very happy to be involved of the following of your traditions. I would at least give her the option.

jenn.daniel

I'm a Christian, and I would be honored if a friend asked me to read an Islamic text (or other religion).  As long as I don't find the text offensive, it doesn't matter to me what religion it represents.

handfast4me

I am not a Christian, and would feel very awkward reading from a book that I feel is fiction.  Even if it is your faith, I must be true to mine.  I would not ask you to read from my Book of Shadows (little joke there), either. 

JFH2010

If a close friend or family member asked me to do it, I would feel awkward saying no, and equally awkward doing it.  So it would definitely put me in an uncomfortable position.  Unless you are certain that she would feel OK saying no, I would ask someone who shares your belief system.

anne.azano

I was raised catholic, but am not practising,  but I'd be happy to read something from the Bible for a close friend (or any other religion, as long as it isn't about women being subservient to men).  It wouldn't bother me at all.  However, I'd probably be more comfortable reading something a bit more secular though.  Just ask her, say something like, "how would you feel about reading something from the bible at our wedding?  We'd love you to be involved, but completely understand if that would make you uncomfortable."  You could also tell her not to answer you right away, to think about it and get back to you in a day or two.  That way she doesn't feel obligated to immediately respond "of course!" when she doesn't really mean it.

gower2be

if she is just agnostic or athiest ask and see how she feels most people wont care about it. But if she is another religion, jewish or muslim especially it would be very thoughtless and kind of rude but if you are close enough im sure it wont hurt to ask

rbtrumpet

I believe she is agnostic.

FI really wants her to be part of the wedding (Fi wanted her to be one of my bridesmaids, but I've never met her, and I already had to cut out a close friend just due to numbers), so our compromise was asking her to do the readings.

We will definitely be doing some sort of non-religious poem, probably during the unity candle, so it is an important part of the ceremony.  I guess I'll just ask her something like "we would really love you to read XXX poem, and if you would like, you can also read YYY verse too.  Please let me know what you would like to do."

2dBride

I think it depends a whole lot on what the reading is.  You wouldn't ask a nonChristian or nonreligious guest to do a reading all about how you are married in Christ, etc.  However, there are some passages from the Christian Bible with no overt religious content.  See for example, this passage from the Song of Songs.  While Christians may see the Beloved as God, it can be read perfectly well as a nonreligious love story, and would be suitable for a reader of any religion (or none).

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_q-non-christianreligious-participants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1dd515c6-6735-40e1-a46e-4827ae072154Post:72d4ac57-7b18-4098-b393-9611d1962cb3">Re: Q for non-Christian/religious participants</a>:
[QUOTE]Just tell her that you'd like her to read both but if she's uncomfortable with the Bible verse, you can ask someone else.  Let her make the decision.<strong>  I know if it were me, I'm not religious but I wouldn't have a problem reading it because I respect other people's beliefs. 
</strong>Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

This. I also would not be offended if someone asked me to read the torah, the quran, etc.

K Lee

I'm a Unitarian agnostic/atheist, and for me it would depend on the reading.  I certainly find passages from the Bible meaningful - the Song of Songs or many psalms are good examples.  However, I would probably be uncomfortable reading something overtly about Christ.  If I were asked by a friend to read something religious - especially without pressure - I would be honored, and it would depend on the reading.