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Invites and Paper

Having a wedding/ reception but already married

I've never posted on here but I'm really starting to buckle down on my planning and need a lot of help. My husband and I decided to get married at the end of last year. But I want to still have a wedding since I bought my dress and I'm my mom's only daughter so she wants one. Question is , how do I word the invites for the wedding and reception? Everyone already knows we're married too.
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Re: Having a wedding/ reception but already married

  • kristbotkristbot
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited February 2013
    This is a vow renewal and not a wedding. You already had your wedding. That means no big white dress, bridal party, pre-wedding parties, etc.

    You made the adult decision to get married last year and now you get to deal with the consequences of that choice.

    Have a wonderful party with friends and family to celebrate your marriage, but make no mistake, you are a wife now not a bride. This website has a lot of good ideas on how to properly have a vow renewal: http://www.idotaketwo.com/renewing_wedding_vows.html

    ETA: website
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    Vacation
    PrettyGirlLost
  • In Response to Having a wedding/ reception but already married:
    I've never posted on here but I'm really starting to buckle down on my planning and need a lot of help. My husband and I decided to get married at the end of last year. But I want to still have a wedding since I bought my dress and I'm my mom's only daughter so she wants one. Question is , how do I word the invites for the wedding and reception? Everyone already knows we're married too.
    Posted by Butterflymom11
    Invite them to your vow renewal.
    TheVirginiansPrettyGirlLost
  • What you're having is a vow renewal, not a "wedding."

    You can have a celebration afterward, but it is not a "wedding reception." 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Your wedding is where you get married.  You already did that.

    You can invite everyone to a vow renewal or religious blessing of your marriage if you like.  It's probably easier to just throw an anniversary party.  
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • In Response to Re:Having a wedding/ reception but already married:
    I'm confused as to why the rude and angry comments. I didn't ask your opinion on whether I should have a wedding or not. I came on here to ask about invitation. My family and friends already know and understand our reasoning and are fully aware that we plan on having a real wedding. What we previously had was a ceremony. No one will be confused or upset as you all seem to be. And we will not be "renewing" vows because we have written our own set of vows. I simply asked about the wording and did not expect backlash. This is clearly a catty board and I'm glad I've never written in before. Please go write in to WeTV so you can be Bridezillas.
    Posted by Butterflymom11
    No one was rude or angry.  Telling you something you don't want to hear is not mean.  It's saving you from embarrassing yourself in front of friends and family.  Do you scream at red lights because they make you stop also?  

    It is not a matter of opinion whether you can have a wedding or not.  It is physically impossible.  It's like trying to reenact the birth of your child.  You can pretend, but it is physically impossible to give birth to someone more than once.  It is physically impossible for you to have a wedding when you are already married.

    Pretending this is a wedding is childish to the point of delusional.  If you are mature enough to be married, you should be past the point of pretending.  Considering that your reaction to facts you don't like is to name call, the leap that you are mature enough to be married is questionable.  
    image
    PrettyGirlLostmaryemoopinkshorts27
  • Also, I never once called anyone a name. You're the one calling someone you don't know childish and delusional.
    yashicka22
  • Wow people. Bride/wife if you didn't like their responses I'm so sorry there was no need for the replies. They were being honest and true with you. However yes if everyone understands that is your intent, I'm sure they will still find it weird, but be their to celebrate anyway. I would that your invitation wording, since everyone already knows you're married, should say Mr and Mrs John Smith invite you etc etc Have a great wedding day, again.
  • I'm confused as to why the rude and angry comments. I didn't ask your opinion on whether I should have a wedding or not. I came on here to ask about invitation. My family and friends already know and understand our reasoning and are fully aware that we plan on having a real wedding. What we previously had was a ceremony. No one will be confused or upset as you all seem to be. And we will not be "renewing" vows because we have written our own set of vows. I simply asked about the wording and did not expect backlash. This is clearly a catty board and I'm glad I've never written in before. Please go write in to WeTV so you can be Bridezillas.

    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
    [Deleted User]andi294
  • It's simply not possible to be married and still have a real wedding.
    Thenimage Nowimage
    [Deleted User]Jean0715grumbledorePrettyGirlLost
  • @ellenc4217 - can you please tell me when you would celebrate your anniversary? For example, 25 years from August 10, 2013 will you celebrate your 25th wedding anniversary? Or will you celebrate it 25 years from when you actually got married? 

    I never know the answer in situations like this? When do people congratulate you on your milestone anniversaries? When will they send you cards? What will you tell your kids about when mommy and daddy got married? These are serious questions - a lot of people having PPDs won't answer them.
    *********************************************************************************

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    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostmaryemoo
  • you are not selfish. I was going to to do the vow renewal but after my father in law passed as we were planning it I decided we would do WEDDING!  We got married the first time for us and we are doing it all over 3 years later for those who wanted to be there. Dress, cake, flower girl, dad walking me down the isle,first dance, father daughter dance, the whole nine yards. These people insulting you are not paying for your wedding so do not pay any attention to them. They need to put their nose back into their own wedding and stay out of yours. Also my WEDDING INVITATIONS say: Our joy will be complete if you can share in the marriage celebration of our daughter ______ to _______ on Sunday, the eleventh of August two thousand thirteenth at half after 5 o'clock then the address and then my parents name. Yes that's the actual date which is in 3 days! Good luck on whatever you decide to do. 
    How do you get married again if you are already married?  It makes absolutely no sense. 
    grumbledoreTeddiD34PrettyGirlLost

  • You're married.  I'm not sure what you mean by saying you still want a wedding, you already had a real one...  You can call it a vow renewal or a celebration of your marriage or something like that I suppose.  
    I've never posted on here but I'm really starting to buckle down on my planning and need a lot of help. My husband and I decided to get married at the end of last year. But I want to still have a wedding since I bought my dress and I'm my mom's only daughter so she wants one. Question is , how do I word the invites for the wedding and reception? Everyone already knows we're married too.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • doeydodoeydo
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers Second Anniversary
    member
    edited August 2013
    I'm confused as to why the rude and angry comments. I didn't ask your opinion on whether I should have a wedding or not. I came on here to ask about invitation. My family and friends already know and understand our reasoning and are fully aware that we plan on having a real wedding. What we previously had was a ceremony. No one will be confused or upset as you all seem to be. And we will not be "renewing" vows because we have written our own set of vows. I simply asked about the wording and did not expect backlash. This is clearly a catty board and I'm glad I've never written in before. Please go write in to WeTV so you can be Bridezillas.
    So are you getting divorced and then getting married again or something?  That way you can have a *real* wedding.  Also, I have seen some catty boards, no one on this thread was being very rude IMO.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    pinkshorts27
  • @southernbelle0915 -- I would bet you dollars to donuts that most of them don't make it to 25 years either way.

    Heck, 10 years.

    That "love it" .... all me!

     

    image

    [Deleted User]
  • Well first thing's first. I actually do not plan on receiving any gifts nor have asked for any gifts. Unlike some people...apparently you...I do not associate that day with presents. Also, I did not ask etiquette; I asked about suggestions. Your problem is you ladies feel it's your way or the highway and that is NOT a fact. There are plenty of circumstances that cause people to choose the path they do. But that doesn't mean that I'm being childish or selfish for wanting to experience the way I've always planned. Also, I have never implied that I was trying to be fake. Everyone knows that we already have legal papers. Actually, the day isn't just about me or even about me at all. It's for the people who want to see me walk down the aisle and for the few relatives I have left that have not passed on that would like to enjoy that day with us. And for his family who lives in various states that would also like to be there. It's for our son. And mother to be able to plan such a special occasion for her only daughter does that make her selfish too?. I never said our ceremony wasn't good enough. It was actually quite beautiful and if were just about us I would leave it at that. The problem is you ladies think in one dimension and then bully those who don't think like you. That's unfair because you don't know everyone's story. The issue here wasn't the "facts" as you call them. It was the utter disrespect behind the words as I continue to see with your replies. So who really is being childish? You simply could have given a suggestion or told me the proper etiquette in a more amiable manner then I wouldn't have taken it so badly. Instead I felt attacked for not realizing that people outside my subculture had their own set of mores that I have never encountered.
    Just quoting this for the inevitable DD.
    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
    grumbledorerw65053
  • I think it's ridiculous that people are commenting saying that this is not the "right way". Who are you all to judge anyone else's experience except your own. I've had a couple friends do this due to financial reasons, their wedding and love far exceed some of my friends that did it the "right way". These women should be far more concerned with their manners than their ettiquete.

    Do what makes you happy!
    It's not about the "right way" or manners or etiquette.  It's about real versus fake.  A wedding is a thing where people actually get married.  It's not a thing where married people dress up and pretend to get married again.  

    Adults who are mature enough to be married don't have pretend weddings.  Fake weddings are lies and childish.  
    image
  • Jen4948Jen4948
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited August 2013
    I think it's ridiculous that people are commenting saying that this is not the "right way". Who are you all to judge anyone else's experience except your own. I've had a couple friends do this due to financial reasons, their wedding and love far exceed some of my friends that did it the "right way". These women should be far more concerned with their manners than their ettiquete.

    Do what makes you happy!
    It doesn't matter what their wedding and love exceed.

    If a couple is going to include any more people in their "wedding" than their officiant or lie about the fact that a legal wedding ceremony took place before this big-white-dress and bells-and-whistles party, then you know what? That's bad manners.  Etiquette is manners!
  • edited August 2013
    My biggest, biggest pet peeve about these is when people say "It is not for me! Its for my parents they deserve to see their special child get married!" THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU WAIT FOR THEM?? My dh and I would've been ok eloping, but we are close to our families and we know it would upset them. So we weighed the pros and cons, and decided to do a full reception. Other people weigh their circumstances, and decide to do the elopement or courthouse because it works for them. If its important to you and your families to have a full white dress, reception, etc, then DO THAT. Don't tell me the reenactment is for your families who you couldn't bother to wait for in the first place. 

    Thank you! If having a traditional wedding was so important to your mother and family why didn't you just do that in the first place?

    Also, I'm so sick and disgusted with people saying they want/deserve/need/demand a REAL wedding. Guess what, the courthouse was your real wedding. Please stop saying that!

    OP- I've been with my FI for 6 years now. We always knew we'd get married and always wanted to. We have 2 kids as well and it sucks not having the same last name as our children. But we knew a traditional wedding was important to us, our families, and I wanted my grandfather to walk me down the aisle.  We easily could have gone to the courthouse but having a traditional wedding was more important to us. So we waited until we could afford it.

    Wear your dress. Throw a party. Celebrate being married. But don't have a re-do ceremony. It's insulting to marriage and insulting to your family, even if they say otherwise. What's so wrong with having a big party?

    ETA: got caught up and forgot this was a zombiethread

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

    NYCMercedesKittyKaty20
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