Invites and Paper

Inviting the church congregation

In our church, typically, when someone who has regularly attended their whole life gets married, the church is invited to the ceremony.  Usually, they put a little blurb in the bulletin that week that says "You're invited to so-and-so's wedding this Saturday at such-a-time."  I wanted to do something a little more personal and send a card in the mail, while still making it clear that the invitation is only extended for ceremony attendance and the reception is close family&friends.

But I don't what how to word it.  I am going for a VERY informal feel..(see regular invite in bio)

This is what I found that I like.. I want to do it on a small card, that would fold, with our monogram on the front.

Because you have shared in our lives
by your friendship and love, we
bride and groom
together with our parents
invite you to share
the beginning of our new life together
when we exchange marriage vows
Saturday, the seventeenth of July
at four o'clock in the afternoon

OPINIONS?  Like the card?  Just put the note in the bulletin?  Don't invite the church?

ETA:  We did send out invites to the families in church that we are very close to.  
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Re: Inviting the church congregation

  • While this may be normal in your church, I personally feel that it is rude to invite people to the ceremony only.  The reception is supposed to be a way to thank your guests.  If these people are close enough to watch you get married, you should feed them too.  Can you just send a regular invitation to both the ceremony and the reception to the families you are closest to in the church?  Aren't these likely the only people that will attend anyway?

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  • I do think it is perfectly fine to invite the congregation to attend the ceremony but not the reception, especially since in many cases technically any religious ceremony performed in the church is open to all members. You might even check to see whether it's the couple putting it in the bulletin or if the church office automatically does that for all the member's weddings they schedule -- I know that's how it was for a friend of mine.

    The catch is II think it does need to be inviting *the congregation* rather than personal invitations to individual members -- I understand wanting to seem friendlier and more welcoming than just an announcement, but I don't think you can do that by sending personal invitations to just the ceremony.  If they are getting personal invitations, it should be for the full celebration.   Maybe a compromise would be to ask about putting an announcement in the bulletin, but with warmer wording than the standard announcements?
  • If they receive something in the mail, they need to be invited to both the ceremony and reception.  If it's just a note in the bulletin or hanging on the back of the church indicating that the ceremony is open attendance, then you're off the hook.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Our invitation will be in our church bulletin the week before the wedding, as well as being displayed at the shower given by our church. This is how our church does weddings. According to our coordinator (our church has one you have to use to get married there), most people will only come to the ceremony. So we have sent out invitations to those at the church that we would like to stay for the whole night. However, we will accomodate anyone who decides to stay, but we aren't having a plated dinner or anything, so maybe it's easier than how you're doing it.
    I would say that most people know that if they are invited only because it is open to the church, that they are only invited to the ceremony. But if you send out cards of any kind, it's an invite to the whole deal.
    "It is never to late to become what you might have been..."
  • I don't think you can send personal invitations for just the ceremony. 
    Married 10/2/10
  • Jeni35Jeni35
    I think the church should post a bulletin, along the lines of  "You are invited to attend the ceremony of so and so at 4pm on Saturday, June 12th in the main chapel" 

    I believe in almost all religious affiliations, congregants are welcome to attend the ceremony because it is considered an open event. I think that a personal invite would be confusing and an expectation would be set to also attend the reception. 
  • In Response to Re: Inviting the church congregation:
    If they receive something in the mail, they need to be invited to both the ceremony and reception.  If it's just a note in the bulletin or hanging on the back of the church indicating that the ceremony is open attendance, then you're off the hook.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak

    This.  If you mail it to them, you're requesting their personal attendance.  Plus, most people equate a wedding invitation with a gift.  In that situation, you'd need to invite them to the reception.  However, if the bulliten notifies them that you will be married in the church at whatever date/time, that's more about how the church is being used, and not an invitation per se, so no reception invite is required.
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485

    I should have mentioned that I have sent *real* invites to several families in the church that I am very close to.  I think we'll post the note in the back of the church as mentioned here - i didn't even think of that!  Thanks ladies.
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  • Simply say in the card, "All invited to the ceremony on such & such date at such & such time for {brides name} & {grooms name}." If you do that, there's no ifs, and or butts about people inviting themselves to your reception. 

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