Huge Family! (guest list vent)

Chloeagh

FI and I are working on our guest list and finding a venue. We have over 100 family members, so our "must invite" list is 122 people long! A lot of the venues we really like only hold 60-100 people, we have a very small budget, and we would really like a wedding size of like 40-60. Last night we decided to make a list of people that would we hate to get married without. My list was only 19 people long! I don't know FI's yet, but knowing him, I'd imagine it is of similar length.

I don't need advice or anything, I just wish our family size was more in line with what we (and our budget!) envision for our perfect wedding.

Gustafson28

That's a tricky spot. Hope it works out for you. Maybe you could do a big party for later that summer to celebrate your marriage with those you could not invite. Good luck!

ironmom5

My FI and I had the same issue.  We did our first pass guest list, and it was well over 200 people, just family, before we even added friends.  There is no way I was having a 300 guest affair, so we decided on a destination wedding.  We're still inviting 320, but we're well aware that only around 70 will be attending.  We'll be having a BBQ in each of our hometowns later in the summer to celebrate our marriage with friends and family who could not attend.  A very low key, no gifts type of backyard party.

Always an option!

Beana89

Ugh, I can totally relate!  After we got engaged FMIL handed me a list of 130 people - just her family and friends (she and FFIL are divorced).  She thought we could easily have a 300 guest affair, like FSIL's wedding a few years back.  After a lot of back and forth FI and I have cut the list down to 190.  His side is bigger than mine, though there are plenty of people I had to cut, so that is aggravating on top of her snide comments about not being able to invite her "dear friends" who all inviter her to their children's weddings.  Hopefully this gets sorted, or it's going to be a looooong year!

r&c14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2014-weddings_huge-family-guest-list-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd3555f8-fb3d-4290-b1fe-9de3e9d420b1Discussion:1e90fe54-1808-427c-b9b5-18166dc1be89Post:42382233-7cac-4df8-a569-7a16a9c0695e">Re: Huge Family! (guest list vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh, I can totally relate!  After we got engaged FMIL handed me a list of 130 people - just her family and friends (she and FFIL are divorced).  She thought we could easily have a 300 guest affair, like FSIL's wedding a few years back.  After a lot of back and forth FI and I have cut the list down to 190.  His side is bigger than mine, though there are plenty of people I had to cut, so that is aggravating on top of her snide comments about not being able to invite her "dear friends" who all inviter her to their children's weddings.  Hopefully this gets sorted, or it's going to be a looooong year!
Posted by Beana89[/QUOTE]
 <div>If she is insisting on all those people there, then she needs to be willing to help pay for those extra people.</div>

karissaparker

I am having this same problem! My FI has an extremely large family, but heres the catch. We have been together for over 5 years and I have gone to SEVERAL family functions and its always the same family members that show up. The rest just don't care to come unless its a wedding! I put a max at 200 and we are well over it! I just feel like we should be inviting people we are close to. I DONT want to be INTRODUCED to a bunch of people at my own wedding!! to me that makes no sense! 

devinsberries

I come from a massive Irish Catholic family. He comes from a very small family. It's hard explaining why we have to invite my Dad's cousin's daughter. He doesn't really understand that even though they are second cousins (or whatever) they are still cousins and therefore must be invited. 

luckystarz

We are going the destination wedding route, mostly to avoid the stress of it all. We want a laid back, fun and stress free wedding. We will be having a reception-esque party at home a few months after, and those that couldn't come I assume will be attending that. We will invite only very close friends and family.

The rule of thumb is - If you haven't had dinner with them in the last 6 months, then they don't get an invite. 

Lizzieb91

We went through the same issue! We have average size families but with our small budget even a hundred guests was too much. We ended up having to decide who was the most important to us. It sounds sad but everyone has family members that you do not see as much or who may not be the most pleasent to be around. We both come from troubled family issues so we had to cut out some negative people to make room for the positive people that would add to our magical day instead of hurting it.