Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!

KristiLei7

Our original plan was to have a small ceremony with a small wedding party - 4 bridesmaids/groomsmen and my daughter as a junior bridesmaid. One night, Brett got drunk and asked a friend who wasn't in the original four to be a groomsman. This resulted in 3 more sets of attendants. The venue is very small, and I am startign to get very overwhelmed with the prospect of a large wedding party. How do I "unask" some people without hurting their feelings? Oh, the wedding is May 25. Thanks!

Carson386

First things first- you don't "unask" people unless you want your relationship with them to be ruined forever. Second- How does asking one person result in 3 more sets of attendants? I guess I'm confused.

melb2013

In Response to Re: Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!:

First things first- you don't "unask" people unless you want your relationship with them to be ruined forever. Second- How does asking one person result in 3 more sets of attendants? I guess I'm confused.
Posted by Carson386

This.

Sharpschruter22

There is no way to do this without hurting their feelings. That's pretty crappy of you, honestly. You shouldn't have asked more people to be bridesmaids to even it up on your FI's side. When you post the same post on a different board please mark it with an XP for cross post.

carpenters3

The only way to "unask" is to be straight up, but know that feelings will be hurt, and you're breaking etiquette. If you absolutely have to do it, including them in some other way (usher, reader, greeter, etc) may be a nice gesture, but they may be angry and not want to be included in that way. Perhaps another option is to do away with the wedding party all-together and just have your daughter; at least that way you're not picking and choosing.

Good luck.

SSaltzman87

Yeeeahhh, there's pretty much no way you can do this without hurting feelings or looking like a gigantic biotch. You and FI made the bed, and you have to lie in it.

rdr716

In Response to Re: Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!:

First things first- you don't "unask" people unless you want your relationship with them to be ruined forever. Second- How does asking one person result in 3 more sets of attendants? I guess I'm confused.
Posted by Carson386

All of this.

RebCappon

In Response to Re: Help! I need to downsize my wedding party!:

First things first- you don't "unask" people unless you want your relationship with them to be ruined forever. Second- How does asking one person result in 3 more sets of attendants? I guess I'm confused.
Posted by Carson386

This.

CamiB30

Put yourself in their place: how would you feel if someone did that to you? Unless you're prepared to ruin a relationship forever, you're going to have to bite the bullet and make things work.