Desperately need advice!

RMK52612

So here is the situation ... recently it has come to light that a groomsman in our wedding has been having an affair with a close friend of ours. Clearly all three people are invited to the wedding considering the wedding is in 66 days and this is just coming to light now. At this point everyone is saying the wedding is far enough away where they can make whatever decisions they need to make but the groomsman is suggesting he not be in the wedding at all or only attend the ceremony and pictures because he cannot be in the same room as the other woman and neither can the wife most likely. Clearly I am taking the position that this is the day i have been dreaming about FOREVER and how dare they jeopardize our day because of their selfishness. We have not yet received a reply card from the other woman but at this point i have no reason to believe she would be declining the invite. I have no idea how to approach this because we do not want to uninvite anyone because then how do we know who else would end up not coming because of it and I mean these are all people we spend almost every weekend with. They have been there throughout our entire relationship. We have all been planning this together more or less ... i just really am at a loss and open to suggestions ... for the record i do not condone any of this and in my mind they are both guilty and need to suck it up!

Thoughts????

lizap77

I would say don't uninvite anyone. Hopefully they can figure out how to deal with each other. If someone doesn't come try not to be offended. If the groomsman needs to step down it's unfortunate but he's obviously going through a rough time. It's not about you or your relationship with them, just remember this must be a really hard time for all of them. I'm sorry, I know it's hard not to have everyone happy and excited for you. But you also don't want to cause any more drama than there already is. Just try not to get in the middle or choose sides. Good luck!

tlc35

Agree with PP. Don't uninvite anybody. If the groomsman feels more comfortable stepping down, just be gracious about it. I know it sucks but try to stay out of it as much as possible.

Danny&Mel2003

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_desperately-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:8f9ee87a-6376-4728-845e-35cd5e359c1ePost:8c7d8a31-1f71-4222-94e6-cb2e9c04ee33">Re:Desperately need advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]Agree with PP. Don't uninvite anybody. If the groomsman feels more comfortable stepping down, just be gracious about it. I know it sucks but try to stay out of it as much as possible.
Posted by tlc35[/QUOTE]

agreed ... do NOT get involved BTDT doesn't end up well.

Annas2013

Stay out of it.  Besides it's not the end of the day if the groomsman steps down.  So what if he does?  You just have uneven sides and deal with it.  I may have lost a bridesmaid due to an internship but am I worried?  No.  

Also everyone in the situation is an adult and they will make their own decision about what they want to do and whether or not they want to come.  And that's their right.

ameliah19

Yeah I would not get involved. They are all adults and need to handle this situation as such.

SSaltzman87

No matter what I wouldn't get involved and I wouldn't change what you already have planned. It's up to them how they handle it and if they end up making asses of themselves, then that's a reflection on them- NOT you.